Twas the night before Christmas …
What a year 2020 has been - no understatement there. I have had highs and highers. The year started with a lovely party celebrating the 40th Birthdays of 2 of our friends. It is ending with us grieving the sudden and quick loss of my dad. What starts must end. Where there is life, there is death. How we live, spend our time, energy and attention between life and death determines our life. In most cases we do not know if we will die today, tomorrow, next week or years from now - therefore life and time is precious.
Two weeks today he went into hospital with an infection that we thought would be treated by antibiotics over a few days. As the day progressed the news worsened to the point we were told he is critical and not sure if he will make it through the night. Next day 3 of us are able to visit him in Intensive Treatment Unit where he is on last stages. Within 40 mins after we have left hospital I take the call to be told he has passed away - this is 36 hours after being admitted to hospital.
Have experienced the whole gamut of emotions and 5 stages of grief. What has helped is looking back at the articles and resources I have previously shared about dealing with grief and death. The support of family, friends and community has helped provide solace as we shared prayers, memories and his qualities. We focused on not what we lost but on what we had and celebrated his life and character. I share some of the funeral service speeches and poems below.
Lalji Shah - Rest In Eternal Peace (11 Dec 2020)
Lessons to Live, Love, Learn and Legacy
Where there is grief there is love
Life and time are the two best teachers. Life teaches us to make good use of time and time teaches us the value of life.
Soul has moved on in its journey, lessons shared
Lesson for Life and Love
How to treat people both young and old - time, attention, get know and feel special
Hospitable, friendly, warm, welcoming smile
sharing/generosity - time, advice
Smarties, chocolates, mangoes, fruit or beer
Commitment, dedication, patience - married for 57 years
Integrity, doing things right, finding a way
Loving, caring, kind and helpful
Service focused - working since aged 15 for 45 years and almost 25 years of those at John Lewis Partnership, Oxford Street
Resilience, persistence
Learning/growth mindset - adapting, learning, giving things a go
Zest for life, positive encouragement
Reminded and understand that his Soul has moved on in its spiritual journey
Life is not measured in years but in moments of happiness, kindness and consciousness
Created and shared many moments of happiness
Take a moment of silence to say prayer - 3 Navkars, remember his warm infectious smile
May the Soul of Lalji Raichand Mepa Shah Rest in External Peace
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti
Thank you from the families
He Is Gone David Hawkins
He Is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on
Farewell My Friends by Rabindranath Tagore
Farewell My Friends
It was beautiful
As long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets
Whatsoever said
The pain I’ll leave behind.
Those dear hearts
Who love and care...
And the strings pulling
At the heart and soul...
The strong arms
That held me up
When my own strength
Let me down.
At the turning of my life
I came across
Good friends,
Friends who stood by me
Even when time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell My friends
I smile and
Bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears
For I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad
Do think of me
For that’s what I’ll like
When you live in the hearts
Of those you love
Remember then
You never die.
No Ordinary Human
Dear God,
How can someone be so giving?
Asking for nothing in return but your happiness. I guess you gave us, no ordinary human.
How can someone make you feel so comfortable? Where a moment in his space has a profound effect on yours.
I guess you gave us, no ordinary human.
When in his presence you forgot the worlds pressures And we laughed out loud like children.
I guess you gave, us no ordinary human.
When I can see his quality in the eyes of his children, so full of kindness & joy.
I guess you gave, us no ordinary human.
So God, I ask one favour, take good care of this soul. As I can definitely confirm.
You lent us for a while, an extraordinary human.
Tony Herbert 14th December 2020
Written by a friend of the family after a prayer and memory sharing zoom meeting
Looking forward to serving you in 2021
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Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.