ARTICLES & BLOG
Good Morning Routine
How we start our day can set the tone for the whole day.
I like to embed practices into my morning routine that support, enhance and rejuvenate my happiness, wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual), positivity, energy and productivity.
The great thing is most of these only take 2-10 mins each and return much more for energy, attention, mindset and mood.
How we start our day can set the tone for the whole day.
Good Morning Vietnam!
Good Morning Vietnam : https://youtu.be/6S8MV523ASA?si=X49lZrobtHgLKJ_s
If you watch this clip of Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam I am sure you will be smiling / laughing by the end of it. His character was in Vietnam to uplift morale which he did through comedy in a morning radio show at 6:00am.
Morning Routine
How we start our day can set the tone for the whole day.
I like to embed practices into my morning routine that support, enhance and rejuvenate my happiness, wellbeing (physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual), positivity, energy and productivity.
The great thing is most of these only take 2-10 mins each and return much more for energy, attention, mindset and mood.
These include:
Review my personal mission statement and goals
Gratitude
Journaling (Gratitude, Intentions, Affirmations)
Breathwork
Meditation/Mindfulness
Prayer
Learning
Exercise
Sharing a positive quote on HLH Quote Group
Over the last 18months or so - using the habit development strategy shared in 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course I have added the following practices to my established morning routine:
High 5 Habit (Mel Robbins)
Reading a page of the Daily Stoic
Listening to favourite playlist while journaling and doing exercises
Extended morning Prayers
Breathwork exercises - 2 since Sep 2024 Retreat
Sharing prompts for Gratitude Group Practice (Not daily)
They each have a cue, action and reward.
Mylenation
Repetition is a key component to building habits, routines and skill. With deliberate repetition we ingrain the neural pathways. The neurons go through mylenation, a membrane/sheet thickens around the neurons. Thereby insulating and increasing the speed of signals between neurons. Similar to insulation on wires or think of it like super fast fibre optic broadband.
A great example of this is with a new evening routine with my mum.
Evening Routine - The power of prayer
My mum is in her mid-eighties, has Parkinson’s Disease and Dementia too. Dementia causes memory and cognitive issues.
Once 9th April 2025 the very first Unite for World Peace: Navkar Mahamantra Day Celebration was organised by a group called JITO.
Jain organisation from across the world took part to chant the universal Jain prayer for 24 hours across the different countries and time zones.
There were community gatherings to recite in person, online and all of it was streamed.
Due to mum’s conditions and mobility were we not able to attend these community gatherings.
Instead we just did the prayer ourselves at home just before going into bed to go to sleep. Having learnt this prayer as a young child, through much repetition and mylenation my mum was able to sing the prayers from memory. It is a 9 line universal prayer.
This has now become our evening ritual where each night we recite together before she goes to bed. Sometimes I lead, sometimes she does.
We have added a forgiveness prayer, the Kshmapna. I’m not sure if she had learnt this as a child. However she is learning it through daily repetition.
I use is as my way of asking for forgiveness in any issues looking after/interacting with mum that day.
It is a sweet ritual that I cherish allowing me to have a moment where I can be present, connected and ask for forgiveness with her. I know this will change as her condition deteriorates and she ages.
Celebrating 5 Years of the Happy Life Habits 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course.
June 1st marks 5 years since Happy Life Habits launched its unique life changing 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course. This was during the Covid19 pandemic and lockdowns where people were feeling anxiety and stress. Emotional and Mental wellbeing was being impacted negatively.
After learning to create videos, edit, subtitle we created in a really short time videos to support during Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) (same videos shared this MHAW). This including a live online workshop and the launch of the 30 Day Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course.
About 20 people joined that initial course. I am grateful to that initial set of trainees and those subsequently for their faith, support, participation and feedback on the course. I felt we made a positive difference and keep doing so by sharing these valuable skills, habits and way of thinking.
The first course some found overwhelming as I had tried to give it all to them - the live sessions, journal practice, accountability, daily Facebook practice and also thrown in a 21 Day Gratitude Challenge on a different platform. It was extreme immersion.
We learnt from the experience to break things down, take it step by step, introducing new things bit by bit and help establish the habit and the learning gently so that it sticks. We learnt that learning and sharing together was powerful.
With each iteration of the course we made amending to improve and enhance the course and experience.
Now the course is broken down to be more that 30 days to provide that extra support and deepen the learning.
We now have a really comprehensive, one of a kind training course:
The Happiness Journal (The 5 minute Journal)
the Journal Workshop to start using the journal
Daily accountability / feedback on entries.
Weekly sessions to share more on gratitude, further the practice, address questions and challenges with the practice, enhance the practice with suggested actions
The 30 Day Facebook Daily practice is now on WhatsApp and this activity is done separately from the 30 Day Journaling Habit Development as a post course addition.
Celebration session / Meal
If you are interested in developing these positive habits register on the waiting list.
From 1st June in the HLH Gratitude Practice Group (https://chat.whatsapp.com/LbhAgWJ5ZSR4lYlrOp08c7) we will start our 10 Day Practice which we will extend through the month as we will likely pause for the Summer.
London Festival Of Architecture - A Walk through Space and Time in Mill Hill
Happy Life Habits is proud to be part of the London Festival of Architecture
We have organised a free walk titled "A Walk through Space and Time in Mill Hill" on Sunday 8th June from 9:30am - 12:00pm
If you would like to join here is the link:
https://www.londonfestivalofarchitecture.org/event/a-walk-through-space-and-time-in-mill-hill/
Please note there are limited tickets so act fast to secure your ticket.
NO Yoga Retreat! - Early Bird finishes at the end of the week
We (Saijal Ladd and I) have purposefully chosen not to have yoga at our Luxury Self Renewal Retreat at The Vedanta, Lincolnshire, 7-9th November.
Except Laugher Yoga which we will do.
Not because we are against yoga, in fact yoga is part of my morning route in terms of Sun Salutations (Surya Namaskar).
There are many benefits to the practice and way of life for our wellbeing.
We have chosen not to have yoga as there are many retreats and opportunities that offer yoga.
We want to offer something different that you can experience and incorporate into you daily life to benefit your happiness, wellbeing, energy and productivity.
That's why at our retreat we offer opportunities to experience:
Breathwork
Meditation
Laugher Yoga
Grounding
Walks
Gratitude
Journaling
Mindfulness
Sound Bath
Time to connect, reflect and be
Attendees of Sep 2024 rated their experience 9/10
What is included?
* Mix of workshops, activities, energisers and relaxation
* Workshop sessions led by Shaileen and Saijal
* Sessions to practice breathwork, meditation/mindfulness, movement, gratitude, journaling, sound bath & more
* 2 nights in shared accommodation with en-suite. Eco-friendly mattresses and Egyptian cotton sheets, guaranteeing a deep and restful sleep. Each room includes a welcome pack with body wash, shampoo, a vanity kit, lotions, and fluffy towels
* 2 Breakfasts, 2 Lunches, 2 Dinners - be nourished with wholesome, heart warming, vegetarian/vegan meals - no garlic/onion. Let us know of any allergies/dietary requirements
* Access to venue facilities (including our swimming pool and spa area with a sauna, steam room and jacuzzi, plus our 24-hour gym and games room) at designated times
* Refreshments station, with teas, coffees and hot drinks
* Walks in the beautiful grounds
* Relax & Connection time
* Various gifts worth £150+ including coaching session with each of Shaileen and Saijal
We also have pre-retreat and post-retreat session on zoom / in person and a Retreat Attendees WhatsApp group
Travel to and from the venue is not included - though lifts are often arranged with fellow attendees with a contribution to the fuel.
Register your interest, more info and FAQs at https://www.happylifehabits.co.uk/retreat
Banana Tree Reward Offer
The Banana Tree Restaurants have a referral program.
Sign up using my link and you'll get £10 off and I'll get a £10 voucher after you have visited the restaurant. A win-win for all.
https://gifts.bananatree.co.uk/claim/Shaileen-Shah-1747675099
25 Reminders to help you lead with meaning - Intelligent Change
This aligns with what we have shared in this blog.
1. What you focus on grows. Choose carefully.
2. People with clear values don’t get lost.
3. Discipline is freedom.
4. What you build will outlast what you buy.
5. Comfort zones are beautiful places. But nothing grows there.
6. You will never regret being kind.
7. Energy is your most valuable currency. Spend it like it matters.
8. If you don’t know what to do, do one thing well.
9. Your attention is your power. Stop giving it away for free.
10. The fastest way to earn respect is to do what you said you would.
11. Creativity is not a mood. It’s a decision.
12. No one is coming to give you permission.
13. If you’re waiting to feel ready, you’ll be waiting forever.
14. A good idea means nothing without execution.
15. You become what you repeat.
16. Say no more often. It’s a skill.
17. If you don’t define success for yourself, someone else will.
18. Action beats overthinking. Every time.
19. Your calendar shows what you really value.
20. Surround yourself with people who raise your standards.
21. Your future is built in five-minute choices.
22. Great work comes from curiosity, not certainty.
23. Don’t waste your life proving your worth.
24. Simplicity scales. Complexity breaks.
25. You don’t get more time. You get to decide what to do with it.
Shaileen Shah - Happy Life Habits Coach, Speaker & Trainer
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list and join the Happy Life Habits Community WhatsApp Group
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Happy Life Habits Positively Impacting Happiness & Wellbeing Levels
The Final
It’s a time for finals.
My son got the results for his second year university degree course and was relieved he got through after one exam he felt did not go well. I’ve seen him put in the effort over a long period of time to do his best.
My niece is awaiting her ‘A’ Level exam finals results before embarking on her university degree journey. She is also preparing for a classical Indian Dance graduation performance. A journey she started when 5 years old which will result in her performing a dozen or dances in front of a live audience of a few hundred. This requires talent and effort to build skill.
This weekend is the Wimbledon Tennis Women’s and Men’s Finals as well as the Euro 24 Finals.
To perform well in all these finals takes preparation, commitment, training, mental resilience and consistency.
It’s a time for finals.
My son got the results for his second year university degree course and was relieved he got through after one exam he felt did not go well. I’ve seen him put in the effort over a long period of time to do his best.
My niece is awaiting her ‘A’ Level exam finals results before embarking on her university degree journey. She is also preparing for a classical Indian Dance graduation performance. A journey she started when 5 years old which will result in her performing a dozen or dances in front of a live audience of a few hundred. This requires talent and effort to build skill.
This weekend is the Wimbledon Tennis Women’s and Men’s Finals as well as the Euro 24 Finals.
To perform well in all these finals takes preparation, commitment, training, mental resilience and consistency.
I am reminded of some learning from my Heroic Coaching where Angela Duckworth, the author of Grit says for that Effort counts twice.
Talent X Effort = Skill
Skill X Effort = Achievement
She goes on to say the 4 variables for Grit are: Passion, Practice, Purpose and Hope.
The sports greats go above and beyond to be the best. It’s not overnight success but lots of hours of hard work, sweat, tears, disappointments and learning. I read about Michael Jordan practicing and practicing his shot for basket ball. Kobe Bryant in the basket ball court at 4:30 in the morning to practice his fundamentals.
Novak Djokovic has made it into the Men’s Wimbledon Finals again. He has been ranked No 1 for a record 428 weeks, won a record 24 grand slams, so far, and won the most money. From my Heroic training and App this video was shared . It is awesome and inspiring. It shares his mental training, handling emotions, reset from failure, using conscious breathing and abundance mindset amongst other insights.
Watch the bit where the interviewer says Novak’s gift is mental strength. Novak immediately interrupts him and corrects saying it is not a gift but comes from effort and training.
Jude Bellingham’s journey is also quite amazing. He is only 21 and been scouted since 8 years old. This article is worth a read, check out the bit about signing for Dortmund club after he was 17 and had signed contract with Birmingham football club so they were able to get £30 million transfer fee.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/extra/wnsbc2uwiq/boy-prince-bellingham-ready-for-biggest-stage
Whoa, Halfway there, Living on a Prayer - 6 Month Review
Wow! We are halfway through the year already! It only seemed like yesterday that we were at the start of the year, reviewing the year gone, making plans, resolutions and setting goals.
Take a moment to review your plans, goals and aspirations you had set at the beginning of the year.
Celebrate the outcomes achieved, learn from the ones not achieved yet, and keep a focus on what you want to get done by the end of this year and take action to progress towards it.
I’ve had some things go to plan, some not go to plan, life curveballs chucked at me and unexpected opportunities come through.
On the last day of June before 9am I’ve spent about 3.5 hours on learning and growth. This is one of my strengths so I am investing on average 2 hours a day on learning and growth. Consistently applying and developing micro habits for all core facets of life to deepen and expand my knowledge, skills, impact and live a rich, fulfilling life.
You may not have 2 hours or be interested in investing that time on learning but just want to know what to do to get the results you want. That’s ok. That’s where I can help.
You can appoint me as your coach to help you go from where you are to where you want to be providing guidance, support, accountability, resources and encouragement.
In the same way that you may not want to plant and grow all your own food, stitch and sew all your own clothes, travel everywhere on foot. You invest in tools, services and mentors/guides to help you get there faster. Getting a better return, leverage and use of your time, energy, focus and money.
Inside Out 2
Recently watched the Disney Pixar film Inside Out so we could watch the sequel Inside Out 2.
Both are excellent films and well worth watching. They deal with the various emotions : Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust in the first film. The sequel introduces changes at puberty and the emotions of : anxiety, embarrassment, envy and ennui. Really great how beliefs and memories are depicted.
There is a event that may interest you about the science behind Inside Out 2
https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/what_we_do/event/the_science_behind_inside_out
Milestones
At the start of the month my older brother Anuj celebrated his 60th Birthday.
Anuj has been and continues to be a wonderful role model teaching me leadership, kindness and service.
He is an avid learner, brings compassion and empathy into his work.
He has been a core member of Happy Life Habits Community providing me with lots of support, encouragement and conversation.
Joining in all the book clubs, master mind groups, training courses and activities.
I just rewatched episode 2 of the first series of our Inspiration Point Podcast in which Anuj took part in during 2020.
It is a awesome episode with lots of great, inspiring content and take away actions.
Some of the topics we cover are: mindfulness, breathing, cloud busting, Bruce Lee / Kung Fu, Tai Chi , Qui Gong, Football and Sports, Emigration, Chess, bullying, letting go and the Oshwal Enabling Network.
The Final Quarter
Final chance to benefit from early bird offer for Self Renewal Luxury Retreat @ The Vedanta
SECURE THE EARLY BIRD PRICE BEFORE IT RISES TO £595 ON SHARED BASIS OR ADDITIONAL £50 FOR SINGLE OCCUPANCY
There are a 2 spots left for the extended early bird offer on the LUXURY SELF-RENEWAL RETREAT @ The Vedanta, Lincolnshire A beautiful grade II listed retreat centre 27th Sept- 29th Sept 2024
Join us on a LUXURY SELF-RENEWAL RETREAT @ The Vedanta, Lincolnshire where we focus on Self-renewal and Energy
Management making your life beautiful by prioritising how you use your energy, time and attention to engage in activities that help you flourish, thrive, have zest and engagement to feel fully alive.
Invest in your self-renewal at our retreat designed to re-energise, refresh and rejuvenate your wellbeing whilst connecting with like-minded people for an unforgettably meaningful experience in a beautiful countryside setting.
The retreat offers sessions to practice breathwork, meditation/mindfulness, movement, gratitude and journaling.
Group life coaching workshops for Self Renewal and Energy Management
Share open hearted discussions & conversations.
The Vedanta is a beautiful grade II listed luxury retreat centre with 75 acres of woodlands, meadows and lakes to feel grounded in nature with scented breezes, swaying trees and songbirds.
You will be able to unwind by taking walks in the beautiful grounds or relaxing in the swimming pool and spa area with a sauna, steam room and jacuzzi, plus 24-hour gym.
In the evenings connect and play in the games room equipped with table football, table tennis, air hockey and a pool table.
Enjoy a naturally healthy sleep on luxurious eco-friendly bedding in a shared bedroom fully furnished to a high standard with a private en-suite bathroom.
Be nourished with wholesome, heart warming, vegetarian/vegan meals on full board basis crafted by experienced in-house chefs cooked with freshest, locally sourced ingredients.
There are 2 spots left for the extended early bird offer:
(1) The £550pp Early bird price till 31/07/2024 then £595
(2) All deposits fully refundable till 31/07/2024
(3) For a limited period all rooms are being offered with no single room supplement. (normally £50 extra) (2 spots left)
(4) The price includes a free gift and a one hour free coaching session with Saijal and Shaileen (2 spots left)
(5) Bring a friend or more and each of you will receive a discount of £50.
Which means for limited time for £500 (if you are bringing a friend and claiming the extra £50 discount) you can get :
single occupancy room, a free gift and 1 hour coaching with life coaches Saijal and Shaileen. Plus refundable deposit (all these extra benefits valued at over £150).
If you are considering this, need more info, need a payment plan etc contact Shaileen on 07900137566
The Retreat will be a minimum of 10 people and max 25.
LUXURY SELF-RENEWAL RETREAT @ The Vedanta, Lincolnshire A beautiful grade II listed retreat centre 27th Sept- 29th Sept 2024 To book contact: Shaileen on 07900137566 or Saijal on 07825837437
Shaileen Shah - Happy Life Habits Coach, Speaker & Trainer
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list and join the Happy Life Habits Community WhatsApp Group
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Happy Life Habits Positively Impacting Happiness & Wellbeing Levels
A Christmas Care - Role (Carol) Who Cares? for the Carer? Dementia/Parkinson's/Old Age/Grief/Loneliness
In the story of Jesus’ birth there are three kings who come bearing gifts. In Charles Dickens’ The Christmas Carol there are 4 ghosts who visit Ebeneezer Scrooge. His business partner Jacob Marley and the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.
On 11th Dec 2020 our world changed when my father suddenly passed (https://www.happylifehabits.co.uk/news/2020/12/24/live-love-learn-amp-legacy) away within 36 hours. He was the primary carer for my mum. We had the gifts and ghosts of : Old age, Grief, Loneliness, Parkinsons and Dementia. That was part of our inheritance.
Without those gifts and ghosts this article would not be written, published and shared.
As time goes by the probability that someone close to you will be impacted by dementia is increasing.
“One of the hardest things in life is to know that you can not stop the decline as you witness firsthand the diminishing cognitive capacity of a loved one due to progressive incurable neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s or Dementia.
To observe them becoming a shadow of themselves day by day; the impact on their physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual wellbeing. Knowing there is nothing you can do to stop that decline. Experiencing the loss each day as anticipatory grief.”
Shaileen Shah - Carer, Happy Life Habits Coach, Speaker and Trainer.
This article is about my role as a carer for my mum who is elderly, grieving, lonely and suffering from the progressive and incurable neurological conditions of both Parkinson’s and Dementia. It shares the perspective of the carer, the challenges faced, how best to look after yourself as well as how to look after and interact with someone who has these conditions or someone you are caring for.
I salute all those who are carers of any type and ask you to support those who you know who are doing a caring role.
In the story of Jesus’ birth there are three kings who come bearing gifts. In Charles Dickens’ The Christmas Carol there are 4 ghosts who visit Ebeneezer Scrooge. His business partner Jacob Marley and the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.
On 11th Dec 2020 our world changed when my father suddenly passed (https://www.happylifehabits.co.uk/news/2020/12/24/live-love-learn-amp-legacy) away within 36 hours. He was the primary carer for my mum. We had the gifts and ghosts of : Old age, Grief, Loneliness, Parkinson’s and Dementia. That was part of our inheritance.
Without those gifts and ghosts this article would not be written, published and shared.
As time goes by, the probability that someone close to you will be impacted by dementia is increasing.
“One of the hardest things in life is to know that you cannot stop the decline as you witness firsthand the diminishing cognitive capacity of a loved one due to progressive incurable neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s or Dementia.
To observe them becoming a shadow of themselves day by day; the impact on their physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual wellbeing. Knowing there is nothing you can do to stop that decline. Experiencing the loss each day as anticipatory grief.”
This article is about my role as a carer for my mum who is elderly, grieving, lonely and suffering from the progressive and incurable neurological conditions of both Parkinson’s and Dementia. It shares the perspective of the carer, the challenges faced, how best to look after yourself as well as how to look after and interact with someone who has these conditions or someone you are caring for.
I salute all those who are carers of any type and ask you to support those who you know who are doing a caring role.
“Once, a student approached Rumi and asked, How should I deal with the pain and suffering in life?”
Rumi, in his wisdom, decided to share a story:
”There was a man who sought the wisdom of a great sage, hoping to find a way to escape his suffering. The sage looked at the man and said, ‘I will help you, but first, you must do something for me. Take this spoon, fill it with oil, and walk through the town without spilling a drop.’
”The man thought this task was simple enough and agreed. He took the spoon, filled it with oil, and began to walk through the town. As he carefully balanced the spoon, he couldn’t help but focus all his attention on not spilling any oil.
”When he returned to the sage, the sage asked, ‘Did you see the beautiful flowers in the town square? Did you notice the children playing and the laughter of families?’ The man realized he had been so fixated on the spoon that he hadn’t noticed anything else.
”The sage then said, ‘This is the key to dealing with pain. Just as you were so focused on the spoon that you missed the beauty around you, when you are consumed by your suffering, you miss the beauty of life. Pain is like the spoon, and life is like the town. Don’t let the pain consume your entire focus. Remember to look around and appreciate the beauty that still exists.’”
The student understood the sage’s message: while pain and suffering are part of life, it’s essential not to let them overshadow the beauty and joy that can be found in every moment. This story serves as a reminder that even in the face of pain, there is an opportunity to find meaning and beauty in life.
”
From Parkinson's UK (https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/information-and-support/what-parkinsons)
Parkinson's is a progressive neurological condition. This means that it causes problems in the brain and gets worse over time. People with Parkinson's don't have enough of the chemical dopamine in their brain because some of the nerve cells that make it have stopped working.
From Dementia UK (https://www.dementiauk.org/information-and-support/about-dementia/what-is-dementia/):
Dementia is an umbrella term for a range of progressive conditions that affect the brain.
Each type of dementia stops a person’s brain cells (neurones) working properly in specific areas, affecting their ability to remember, think and speak.
Doctors typically use the word ‘‘dementia’’ to describe common symptoms – such as memory loss, confusion, and problems with speech and understanding – that get worse over time.
Some films and books about Dementia:
Films:
You, Me Aur Hum - Bollywood movie with Kajol and Ajay Devgn. Powerful scenes including one where Kajol has gone shopping and forgets her way home.
Still Alice - Powerful story of a young professor diagnosed with Alzheimer’s soon after her 50th birthday.
The Father - very moving depiction with Anthony Hopkins
The NoteBook
Books
Mum, Me, White Lies and Tea: My journey into the heart of dementia - Ten lessons from accompanying my mum on her journey with dementia by my friend Nick Williams. (Get in touch if you want a signed copy)
Trials and Tribulations of a Carer for Parkinson’s and Dementia
A typical day (though there is no typical day) in my life as a carer for my mum who has progressive incurable neurological conditions Parkinson’s and Dementia. This means she sometimes does not know what to do, cannot follow a sequence of instructions, needs to be told repeatedly, is not independently mobile requiring a Zimmer frame to move about, can lose balance and have a fall, lives in a different reality and can get frustrated easily and have a change in mood. I share here some of the trials and tribulations to give an insight into some of the challenges a Carer has. Routine is important as is regularly giving the Parkinson’s medications at the correct time 5-6 times a day.
Robin Sharma shares the 5am club. Those who get up at 5am and use the hour to reflect, do journaling, learning and exercise. On some days I am part of the 2am, 3:30am, 4am, 4:30am club and everything in between too. (As I write this section mid morning we have been up from 2am -7am). This is when my mum has woken up during the early hours to go to the bathroom or just feeling unsettled. It can be no wakes up, 1 or 2 wakeups or multiple wakeups over a few hours. This broken sleep / sleep deprivation and intensity of interaction can lead to energy lows, heavy head, brain fog impacting plans for the day.
A trip to the bathroom is a 20 min round trip. On average 2 or 3 per night. Sometimes you have just taken, tucked into bed and within 5 minutes need to visit again.
Getting her ready to go to bed involves giving last meds, helping to get changed, settle into bed etc. This is a 30-40 min activity.
She asks for water just after you have got her tucked up into bed.
Due to the medications and changes in the brain she can experience hallucinations, different reality, emotional roller coaster and be illogical.
Both mum and I can share angry words or actions due to stress, lack of sleep, frustration, low energy.
Sometimes when I am on a zoom call I have to excuse myself or switch off video and audio in order to attend to mum’s needs.
When doing deep work or creative work the flow can be disrupted due to distractions and disturbances in looking after mum. This involves task switching which takes up energy.
Even though my father passed away about 3 years ago, mum asks “When will he come? Where is he?”. Having been brought up to tell the truth and not telling lies being a part of my faith I initially used to explain to her that he has passed away. From learning about dementia from literature and the Dementia Club UK Awareness Training we now have to tell a lie or half truths and say he is out but fine or not to worry and he will come later. We have to step into her reality and reassure her.
Each day can be like Groundhog Day, during the day having the same conversation or giving the same instructions again and again, as for them they have forgotten and it is for the first time in their reality.
No real concept of time.
Excellent video about Dementia, I really resonate with this : https://youtu.be/EuRHHmXbzYs
We are fortunate that we share caring responsibilities over the family members and get support from external carers. However if the carer does not come on a particular day it means we have to drop plans and shift focus and responsibilities.
Giving Care
This brilliant article I got from Dementia Club UK in their weekly email. These tips can apply to anyone with whatever they are dealing with. I get it wrong so often, this helps to remind and refocus.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/caregiving-tips-teepa-snow-180395.htm
Dementia Caregiving Tips from Teepa Snow
My name is Teepa Snow, and I am a dementia care and education specialist. My personal mission is to better the lives of people with dementia—as well as the lives of their caregivers—by sharing what I have learned. An occupational therapist by training, I have been called “the horse whisperer of dementia.”
It can be difficult, frustrating and confusing to care for a person with dementia. In order to be successful in changing behavior when frustration mounts, it comes down to how we respond to what is happening and what we choose to do.
Five Tips to Help Dementia Caregivers Cope
1. Step Back
When an interaction is not going well, you have a choice: you can push your agenda and watch things get worse, or you can step back and think. What’s happening is often more complicated than it appears on the surface. In an effort to be helpful, you may have created a problem. The person who is challenging you is doing the very best they can with what cognitive abilities they have left. Stop judging them.
Learn to be a good detective. Your brain works better than theirs, so use it! Step back and assess their abilities. Know what you are working with. Try to figure out what might be driving the person. Analyze the situation. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What might be their unmet emotional need? How about their unmet physical need? Why might they be doing what they are doing? What are they trying to communicate? You need to try to see things from their point of view.
2. Respond (Don’t React)
What you thought would happen didn’t happen. The person did not react the way you wanted (or expected) them to. You’re getting frustrated and you’re getting angry. What to do?
Stop reacting and stop your behavior of trying to correct them. Stop pointing out errors or mistakes. Stop trying to fix things. Stop raising your voice, and stop pushing your agenda. “Remember, I already told you that!” Do you find yourself repeating that sentence? It’s time to stop! Don’t argue with them.
What will be more helpful is to use the words they have given you. It’s called reflective narrative language and it will support their ability to make connections. Repeat back to them what they have said to you—acknowledge and validate what they are feeling. It is not helpful to focus on who is right or wrong, but it is often helpful to apologize (for whatever happened). Say something like, “I’m sorry this happened,” or, “I’m sorry I upset you, I was trying to help.”
3. Make Plans, but Expect Them to Change
Create a plan, think it through and get organized. Have a schedule. You know what you want to happen. However, when it doesn’t, you have to be flexible.
If your plan isn’t working, you can’t force it! It’s part of your care agenda. Adjust your plans as needed. It was just a plan! Figure out where to go or what to do instead. Having alternatives ready is necessary and helpful. Create Plan A, but always have a Plan B, Plan C or even Plan D at the ready.
4. Figure out What You Can (and Can’t) Control
Stop trying to control what you can’t control. This is so important to realize. You can’t control their dementia or their past (who they’ve been or their routines and preferences that may now be exaggerated or problematic). And, you can’t control/fix/change their behavior.
You do have some control, however, over their environment—their physical and sensory experiences. This includes where they are, the objects they use or have access to, and how you guide or help to direct their time. Consider how you can make a difference for both of you.
Pay attention to what helps them feel valued and important, as well as when they relax and regain their energy. Try to prioritize the most important things and what must get done. Know your agenda, but don’t show your agenda. Practice recognizing if/when something doesn’t go as you hoped and managing your response.
You can figure out how to get yourself under control, and you can build your skills and knowledge about how to better live with dementia. Change what you can change and then let go of the rest.
5. Take Care of Yourself
When it’s not working, when something you tried to do didn’t work, or when you’re getting frustrated or angry, you absolutely need to learn to take a time out. It’s critical to step away from the situation. Take at least three deep breaths—breathe in and out deeply!
When you are frustrated, angry or in despair, the person you are caring for picks up on and reacts to your stress level and intensity. They may not fully understand what you are feeling or why, but they will be impacted by your tone of voice, body language and emotional state. When you’re angry, you’re no good to them or to yourself.
Breathing deeply will help you get back to neutral, lower your stress level, and help you regain perspective about the situation you are trying to problem solve. Also, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Putting support systems in place for surprising times when living with dementia is critical. Dementia care is hard work!
About Teepa Snow
Teepa is an occupational therapist and dementia education specialist who works closely with dementia specialty service providers to develop and optimize programs and services to people living with dementia, their care partners and family members.
Communicating and Interacting
Here are some tips, rules and information that help with communication and interaction. Useful for general communication not just when with Parkinson’s Dementia patients.
If you interact with someone with Dementia, this is a really useful list of Golden Rules as is the Parkinson’s Dementia leaflet linked at the end
“16 Things I would Want if I Got Dementia”
by Rachael Wonderlin (rachaelwonderlin.com.)
(Copyright Registration No. TX0008332487)
If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favourite music playing within earshot.
18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.
Click here for the Parkinson’s Leaflet
Self Care
“I can’t afford to become ill. I have to stay in good health and energy in order to do my role as primary carer for my mum who has progressive incurable neurological conditions Parkinson’s and Dementia.”
Health, energy and Self Care are all priorities. I actively, daily and purposefully attend to these with routines and habits I choose. We can’t give from an empty cup.”
What are the 5 balls of life?
A speech about life being a game of ‘5 balls’ has been falsely attributed to Google CEO Sundar Pichai. It appears to come from a 1991 Georgia Tech commencement speech given by former Coca-Cola CEO Brian Dyson.
https://www.reuters.com/article/factcheck-quote-sundar-pichai-idUSL1N2SE1SE/
“Imagine life is a game of 5 balls that you manipulate in the air, trying not to fall these balls.
One of them is rubber and the rest is glass. The five balls are: work, family, health, friends, soul. It will not be long before you realize that (work) is a rubber ball.
Whenever you fall, you will jump again, while the other balls are made of glass.
If one of them falls, it will not return to its previous form. It will either be damaged, bruised, cracked, or even scattered.
You have to be aware of that and strive for it.
Manage your work efficiently during working hours, take the time to be assured of your sincerity, give the necessary time to your family and friends, take appropriate rest, and take care of your health. If you are gone, it isn’t easy to return as it was.”
My habits and routines for Health, Energy and Self Care, most done on a daily basis.
Drink a glass or small bottle of water (500ml or so) to rehydrate
Open the curtains to let natural light in
Using my Happiness journal to note
3 things that you are grateful for
3 intentions for the day, what would make the day great
3 positive affirmations
Review my personal mission statement, values, goals (morning and evening)
A few minutes of mindfulness / meditation with app or focus on breath etc
Choose and share daily positive quote on Happy Life Habits Daily Quote WhatsApp Group
Take time to Stretch / exercise by doing:
3 Sun salutations (surya namaskar from yoga)
3 pushups or situps or burpees
Recite prayers
Read a few pages of a book, watch or listen to something positive that I can learn from
Have a healthy, nutritious breakfast
Mid morning fruit break
Focused work
Planning
Regular breaks away from the desk computer
Go for a walk in morning or afternoon
Spend time with family/friends
Reduce mobile phone use during meals
Journaling
3 highlights or good things from the day
How could you have made the day better?
What did you learn during the day?
Go to bed around same time each day
Additionals that are not daily
Time for laughter – live comedy, shows, films, shared jokes
Live experiences: music, theatre, art, sport, travel
Sauna or massage
Time in nature, gardening
Volunteering, Service, Community, Faith
Reflecting on achievements/qualities – monthly, quarterly or every 6 months
These habits positively impact my health, energy and wellbeing and cover the scope of the 5 well being dimensions of Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social and Spiritual while at the same time releasing happy chemicals and flushing the stress ones away.
This is what I am learning
A friend said that they could not do the caring for a parent as it is a big commitment and sacrifice. For me it is not a sacrifice but a way of serving - though to be honest sometimes frustration and not having control on a lot of things makes it feel like a sacrifice. It’s a way of working through my karma.
This is what I am learning
Apply the tools, practices and routines, Develop Habits, Cultivate virtues. Reflect and Introspect. Accept reality.
Mindfulness, being present and in the moment
Slowing down
Centre and ground yourself
Understanding emotions better
Listening with full attention
Empathy, Compassion, Care
Connection is so important
Patience
Go with the flow
Proactive, Plan and focus on what’s important now and what need to be done soon
Focused moments of work
Self care, practices and routines
Sleep, rest and recovery
Keep being taught the lesson till we learn it
Resilience
Accepting the things I can not control
Responding rather than reacting
Not to take things personally
Fundamentals : Eat, Sleep, Move, Breathe, Focus
Very conscious of how I use my time, what I say yes to and what I commit to
People call less and visit less
“THE SPIRITUAL WARRIOR’S PRAYER
I pray not to be protected from life’s battles,
But to have the courage to conquer them fearlessly.
I pray not to escape from my struggles,
But to learn the lessons the universe is trying to teach me.
I pray not to work for fame and recognition,
But to make it my mission to love and serve others in all that I do.
I pray not to measure my wealth and success by what I own,
But by how grateful and abundant I feel in my heart.
And I pray not for my circumstances to change so that I feel happy,
But to be a beacon of light in the world wherever God places me.
”
For a better Future we have to be very Present when the Dementia patient is living in their Past.
Use it or lose it
As I have understood it, those who have Dementia have experienced a shrinkage in their brain. My theory based on what I have learnt and having no medical research is by keeping the brain active, learning new knowledge and skills, practising gratitude, journaling and mindfulness/meditation, exercising help to increase the neural connections, the grey matter and different parts of the brain thereby delaying or preventing the shrinkage. These practices also help our health, happiness and wellbeing.
The Heroic Coaching and App helps me with my Energy, Work and Love (Relationships/Connection).
Our 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Training Course I am immensely proud of as I feel it not only helps with happiness, mental and emotional well being, hope, optimism and resilience but also is releasing the happy chemicals washing out the stress ones. We know stress exacerbates inflammation and all underlying illness or disease we have.
People with Parkinson's don't have enough of the chemical dopamine in their brain because some of the nerve cells that make it have stopped working. Gratitude releases dopamine. What if the regular practice of gratitude releasing dopamines keeps those nerve cells active, healthy, working well and alive for longer?
The hardback, cloth bound Happiness Journal feels lovely in our hands, the act of thinking, reflecting and writing makes use of different parts of our brain at the same time (sight, touch, feelings, thoughts, memory, future thinking. motor skills etc) thus keeping them engaged and active. As shared in Gratitude is my Superpower - gratitude is a higher vibrational frequency energy.
We are going to run limited sessions of the 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training course specifically for:
Carers
Coping with Grief
General Wellbeing
For Carers attendees will only be carers giving it a particular focus and support.
For Coping with Grief attendees will only be those who have experienced a loss and are working through the grief process giving it a particular focus and support.
The General Wellbeing session will be open to all.
If you are interested or know someone who may benefit from either 1, 2 or 3 please join the waiting list or message me.
If you are involved with a charity or organisation that supports Dementia, Parkinson’s, Grief or Carers (for any condition) I would love to explore the opportunity to make the 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course available to support patients, staff, volunteers or carers with their mental and emotional wellbeing. Or to give a talk from a Carer’s perspective.
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Resources
Some films and books about Dementia:
Films:
You, Me Aur Hum - Bollywood movie with Kajol and Ajay Devgn. Powerful scenes including one where Kajol has gone shopping and forgets her way home.
Still Alice - Powerful story of a young professor diagnosed with Alzheimer’s after her 50th birthday.
The Father - very moving depiction with Anthony Hopkins
The NoteBook
Books
Mum, Me, White Lies and Tea: My journey into the heart of dementia - Ten lessons from accompanying my mum on her journey with dementia by my friend Nick Williams. (Get in touch if you want a signed copy).
Organisations
Parkinsons UK https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/ - great resources including leaflets on specific aspects
Dementia Club UK https://dementiaclubuk.org.uk/ - resources / training and support sessions for carers and those with the condition
Alzheimer’s UK https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/ - wonderful Caring for a Person with Dementia book (free)
Barnet Carers https://barnetcarers.org/ - local borough carers support
How mindfulness can help cognition https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_mindfulness_helps_you_age_better
This has relevant content in relation to exercise and brain cognition.
https://youtu.be/UyNotKnAFkM?si=FEUF0gAGzl3wiYLp
Another great video that links foods, diet and dementia.
https://youtu.be/98szU7WJySk?si=uKcmni03JpDTd1t6
Shaileen Shah - Happy Life Habits Coach, Speaker & Trainer
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list and join the Happy Life Habits Community WhatsApp Group
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Happy Life Habits Positively Impacting Happiness & Wellbeing Levels
THE SPIRITUAL WARRIOR'S PRAYER
We are now in the final 3 months of the year. A good time to revisit your goals, aspirations and plans from the end of last year or start of this year and review where you are and what you want to do before the end of the year. Happy Life Habits has a few projects till the end of the year and into the new year that may interest you. These include:
HLH Thanks Giving Lunch
World Values Day
HLH Book Club for 2024
10 Week Training Course for the charity Mind In Enfield and Barnet
What I love about cultivating virtues, qualities and living values is that they help me grow, be aligned to who I am or want to be and bring my best self to situations. This is all part of inner work. No short term fix but long term transformation.
“THE SPIRITUAL WARRIOR’S PRAYER
I pray not to be protected from life’s battles,
But to have the courage to conquer them fearlessly.
I pray not to escape from my struggles,
But to learn the lessons the universe is trying to teach me.
I pray not to work for fame and recognition,
But to make it my mission to love and serve others in all that I do.
I pray not to measure my wealth and success by what I own,
But by how grateful and abundant I feel in my heart.
And I pray not for my circumstances to change so that I feel happy,
But to be a beacon of light in the world wherever God places me.”
Rest, Recovery, Rejuvenation, Review
We are now in the final 3 months of the year. A good time to revisit your goals, aspirations and plans from the end of last year or start of this year and review where you are and what you want to do before the end of the year. Happy Life Habits has a few projects till the end of the year and into the new year that may interest you.
Through learning and person experience about personal energy, circadian rhythms, ultradian rhythms and balance I have understood it is important to have time for rest, relaxation and recovery in order to let us keep performing well and do the things we want to and need to do on a continued basis. The Summer provided me with a few weeks to go on a family holiday. This we planned at the start of the year and looked forward to throughout the year. I was able to switch of from “work”. In order to do that I had to plan and action before and after the holiday. The break was a welcome respite to re-energise, connect, make memories with family and friends, have some wonderful experiences including bucket list item of hot air balloon ride, trek to waterfall and swim in it’s lagoon, be on safari from before sunrise till after sunset, see the Big 5 all in one day, have a bush breakfast and picnic lunch in the Masai Mara with zebras nearby, sunrises at the beach, full moon over the ocean and enjoy being in the moment.
Forgiveness and Gratitude
Just before going on holiday I had committed to lead a community project related to the Jain Festival of Forgiveness. This meant being very organised, planning and getting on with a lot of prep work in advance as the festival was just a few days after returning from holiday.
I really found it beneficial to be engrossed in the project focusing on Forgiveness, researching material, creating digital posters and a detailed plan for various days. The festival was for 8 days, however I was able to be with it for weeks, deepening my understanding of forgiveness. Here are 2 wonderful videos that I shared. One is on the relationship between Gratitude and Forgiveness and the other a powerful one on saying sorry while we can.
Gratitude and Forgiveness video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKDM5QH_wlo
If you need to say Sorry to Someone : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6QwXyE0J9c
What I love about cultivating virtues, qualities and living values is that they help me grow, be aligned to who I am or want to be and bring my best self to situations. This is all part of inner work. No short term fix but long term transformation.
Who are you? Who do you want to be?
World Values Day
Happy Life Habits is again supporting World Values Day on Thurs 19th October by running 2 sessions as part of the Valuesthon. From World Values Day website:
“World Values Day is an annual campaign to increase the awareness and practice of values around the world.
Values are what matter most to us. They motivate and guide us. They are the passion in our hearts, the reason we do the things we do.
In a world that can feel increasingly divided, values help unite us. They are the glue holding together our communities and wider society. This year’s campaign theme is Values Bring Us Together.
So on World Values Day let’s concentrate on what brings us together. Let’s put our values into action, reaching across the growing barriers that divide us to build stronger communities and a more united world.”
What values are important to you? Which would you die for?
Book at here for either of the 2 sessions.
Mind in Enfield and Barnet 10 week Happiness Course
We are delighted to have been asked by the charity Mind in Enfield and Barnet to design and deliver a 10 week training course on Happiness. We start sessions on the 6th of October.
Annual Thanks Giving Lunch
Having started last year we continue with our Thanks giving lunch at the end of November. An opportunity to connect with like minded people, have great conversations and gratitude related activities while sharing a lovely meal.
The waiting list for the 30 Day Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course is open. We will discuss potential dates with those on the waiting list.
If interested join Thanksgiving Lunch group : https://chat.whatsapp.com/LeYGtRvATZUKZXTfPSr04h
Book Club 2024
The Happy Life Habits book club returns in 2024 with the Heroic book : Arete by Brian Johnson.
Arete means living virtues to excellence or being your best self, living to your potential.
The book ((releases at the end of the year) is a product from the Heroic Public Benefit Company through which I have done the Heroic Coach Life Coaching, become an Ambassador and been using the fantastic materials for over a 2 years in the Master Mind Group and coaching sessions.
It is the best personal development platform I have used for learning, resources and actually applying the learning to move from theory to practice to mastery. Combining ancient wisdom with modern science. Reducing the learning cycle and making change happen. Various Happy Life Habits Community members via the Master Mind Group have used Heroic materials and training.
If you wish to join the book club, have a hard back copy of the book (1000+ pages), want the Heroic App or know more about Heroic let me know.
The book club is a great way to have a disciplined way of working through a book, embedding the learning by sharing with others and being inspired to apply the learning. We will initially commit to 5 sessions for the new year.
For more info see https://www.heroic.us/optimize/the-book?fpr=happylifehabits
Follow this link to join HLH Book Club WhatsApp group: https://chat.whatsapp.com/DsELdIg3tQyIB6GC0cTs6q
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list and join the Happy Life Habits Community WhatsApp Group
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
A Strong Work Ethic - Working 9 to ...
Strong Work Ethic
With Labour day celebrated this weekend in the USA I reflect on some of my work experiences and work ethic.
Observing a strong Work Ethic in my early years
I grew up observing a strong work ethic. Hearing about how my grandfathers emigrated from India to East Africa in their early teens for the want of a better life and opportunities. They faced many hardships and challenges in a new country, culture, language and at the time not much of a community. They went into business at a young age. It was part of the cultural blood. Higher academic education was less of a priority at that time.
My father and his brothers were running business in Kenya while in their teens, being trained and taking over from my grandfather. Then having to restart in a different city before taking the step to emigrate to London in the early 70s and going through the same hardships and challenges of being in a new country, culture, language and at the time not much of a community with the added aspect of cold, wet, raining miserable weather for seasons of the year.
My mother followed 6 months later on her own travelling with 3 young children, the oldest 7 and the youngest, me only 1 years old. Imagine how the airflight was then going through luggage control to get and carry the luggage with a 1 year old in her arms. The cold of the December month and are then a quite racist environment - very distance from the now diverse, accepting, aware and cosmopolitan nation the UK is.
My working career - early days
In my youth I polished shoes and washed cars for family members to earn a little bit of money. Helped my brothers on their paper round. Worked in the holidays and some weekends in my uncle’s news agent shop as well as in another uncle’s jean shop. Mid teens around GCSEs (‘O’ Levels) and ‘A’ levels I had my first Saturday job. I would go to Oxford Street, London to work in Olympus Sport at Selfridges. Did the Christmas season there too.
Strong Work Ethic
Observing a strong Work Ethic in my early years
I grew up observing a strong work ethic. Hearing about how my grandfathers emigrated from India to East Africa in their early teens for the want of a better life and opportunities. They faced many hardships and challenges in a new country, culture, language and at the time not much of a community. They went into business at a young age. It was part of the cultural blood. Higher academic education was less of a priority at that time.
My father and his brothers were running business in Kenya while in their teens, being trained and taking over from my grandfather. Then having to restart in a different city before taking the step to emigrate to London in the early 70s and going through the same hardships and challenges of being in a new country, culture, language and at the time not much of a community with the added aspect of cold, wet, raining miserable weather for seasons of the year.
My mother followed 6 months later on her own travelling with 3 young children, the oldest 7 and the youngest, me only 1 years old. Imagine how the airflight was then going through luggage control to get and carry the luggage with a 1 year old in her arms. The cold of the December month and are then a quite racist environment - very distance from the now diverse, accepting, aware and cosmopolitan nation the UK is.
In those early years I hardly saw my dad as he would leave to go to work as a sales assistant before I was awake and return after I was asleep. I do recall my mum taking on various jobs such as sewing and stitching. Dad did various sales / retail related jobs and was very good at it becoming the manager of the store.
Later he would join the John Lewis Partnership on recommendation of his younger brother. I remember we would visit him on Oxford Street and feeling pride seeing him in action serving customers. He would joyfully introduce us to all his work colleagues.
Mum continued to do various jobs, raise the children, run the household and when I was 7 she went to evening classes to learn skills such as typing. This lead to her getting part-time and full time office related employment.
These observations of work ethic has an influence on me.
My working career - early days
In my youth I polished shoes and washed cars for family members to earn a little bit of money. Helped my brothers on their paper round. Worked in the holidays and some weekends in my uncle’s news agent shop as well as in another uncle’s jean shop. Mid teens around GCSEs (‘O’ Levels) and ‘A’ levels I had my first Saturday job. I would go to Oxford Street, London to work in Olympus Sport at Selfridges. Did the Christmas season there too.
After ‘A’ levels I worked on the famous Bond Street in a Moss Bros clothing store. Often going to Mayfair and Park Lane to deliver tailored cloths to customers or take to tailors to make alterations. Just realised that playing Monopoly helped me become familiar with these places.
During the holidays of the university years I worked Marks & Spencers during the summer, Christmas and Easter. My first summer I was holding 2 jobs at the same time. The Marks and Spencer retail job and also as a steward at Wembley Stadium and Arena. This was really memorable as Prince, Madonna and The Rolling Stones played their gigs.
After my Masters I graduated into a recession hit work environment finding it very difficult to get an IT job. That first Christmas I worked at the retails store Next in the morning and Argos in the afternoon, observing the madness during the sales.
Sometimes you have to make your own luck and opportunities
The recession made it difficult to get employment. You did not get employment as you had no relevant work experience. How do you get the relevant work experience if you did not get opportunities?
Sometimes you have to make your own luck and opportunities. My brother shared a snippet from a computing journal that a US based consultancy was going to set in Europe including in London. The article the the company name: Cambridge Technology Partners (CTP) and that it was based in Richmond and perhaps the name of a manager as part of a quote. Armed with this information before the time of the internet or Google search I proactively called the phone directory service with the company name and area based to get a phone number. Calling the number I said I had seen the article and was interested in joining the company. I was asked to send my C.V. This lead to an interview and subsequently a job offer where I become the 6th or so UK employee of the firm.
The IT Career
I travelled to Cambridge, Massachusetts near Boston for a few weeks of orientation training. The next few years as junior consultant I learnt lots, worked many long hours, developed skills, travelled within the UK and US for projects with household FTSE 100 and Fortune 500 companies like: BT, Unilever, Prudential, Norwich Union Health Care and Disney Consumer Products. One of the main things I learnt was that the life of a travelling consultant living out of hotels without home food, family, friends, routines was not the life for me, especially after becoming newly married.
I moved into financial technology working for Schroders and thereafter becoming a contractor for a few years with long dry spells. Working on projects for United Bank of Kuwait, Equitas (Lloyds of London insurer) before joining Greenwich NatWest. I joined Greenwich NatWest as very soon after Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) announced it was taking over NatWest. I witnessed redundancies, fear, confusion and lots of uncertainty. As the various systems from the merger were integrated I worked on those projects for Finance Technology moving from being a contractor to an employee. Going from a developer to senior developer to technical team lead/project manager. Some projects were very demanding and involved working for long hours for an extended period of time.
I experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress during the financial crisis on 2008 and thereafter. Leaving RBS in 2016 through redundancy the next chapter of my career begins.
During all of this I actively volunteered for community groups and took on roles in the Jain faith based charities : Young Jains and SCVP. This further helped my development, growth, skill set, leadership, organising and public speaking skills and confidence.
All Change
All of these varied work and volunteer experiences contributed to :
Understand what is important to me
Clarity on my values and way of working
That I wanted flexibility and control in the work I do
What my strengths are
How I want to contribute and serve
Whatever you do, do you best and give your best
In a way I semi-retired, choosing on how I use my (limited) time. It led to some time exploring various options before training in the Science of Happiness. This leading to starting Happy Life Habits were I combine my interests in : Personal Development, The Science of Happiness and Spirituality to positively impact Happiness and Wellbeing Levels.
I have a portfolio career where I have been a workshop facilitator for NCS The Challenge ( National Citizen Service) and exam invigilator for school exams.
Currently the portfolio career involves:
Carer for mum who is elderly, has Parkinson’s and Dementia
Speaker, Trainer and Coach with Happy Life Habits
Heroic Ambassador and Life Coach with Heroic Public Benefit Corporation
Author for Bookboon
Workshop and Course facilitator for the charity Mind in Enfield and Barnet
Wellbeing Coach with SoulBrite
Non Executive Committee Member at Young Jains
To balance or harmonise work, personal life and community work requires me to be proactive, have plans with priority and flexibility and be organised and really work my habits/routines/protocols for energy, self care, focus and productivity. The Heroic training has helped with this.
What has been your journey? What has helped?
Are you happy with your work?
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list and join the Happy Life Habits Community WhatsApp Group
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
6 month Review 2023
Review
At various points in the year I look taking a moment to a review of the preceding time period. This is often at the end of the year with the Looking Back, Looking Forward workshop, the middle of the year and sometimes ad hoc too. This year I have had the mid year review in mind, thought about it in my head, made notes but not been able to write up and share till now.
Like journaling, writing and sharing the review helps me celebrate the wins, learn from the challenges, see growth and gratefully acknowledge the opportunities.
Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course Celebration Dinner at Little Resham
Review
At various points in the year I take a moment to a review of the preceding time period and what is forthcoming. This is often at the end of the year with the Looking Back, Looking Forward workshop, the middle of the year and sometimes ad hoc too. This year I have had the mid year review in mind, thought about it in my head, made notes but not been able to write up and share till now.
Like journaling, writing and sharing the review helps me celebrate the wins, learn from the challenges, see growth and gratefully acknowledge the opportunities.
Here is review from 2021 and 2022.
2023: 6 month review Highlights
The year started with a key note presentation for an HR conference in Athens.
We launched a new program Inner Compass and continued with the Master Mind Program.
Took part in 2 podcasts : People on Purpose and Estrella of Happiness - Within You.
Delivered two 3 hour workshops on Gratitude for Wellbeing for the charity Mind in Enfield and Barnet and supported Mental Health Awareness Week on the theme of anxiety sharing resources daily in a dedicated WhatsApp group and Master Class on Anxiety.
Our flag ship 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course celebrated it’s 3rd year. We positively impacted trainees when we ran the course in March and a last minute decision for June. June was opened as free gifted refresher to previous attendees.
We celebrated completion of the June course and three year anniversary for the first time with an in person celebration dinner (which was open invite for all Happy Life Habits Community members) at the restaurant Little Resham. We shared delicious, vegan food, conversations and connected deeper with the use of the gratitude cards.
Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course Celebration Dinner
We have a discount available at Little Resham for Happy Life Habits members. Be on the WhatsApp Community Group and email mailing list to show proof you are member of Happy Life Habits Community.
Little Resham discount code for Happy Life Habits members
Regular positive focus
The Happy Life Habits Community on Facebook now has regular weekly questions to help focus on positivity, happiness, optimism and hope.
These include :
A check on how happy you currently are at this moment
What small wins can you celebrate from the week?
What did you learn?
What good things happened to you?
What are you grateful for?
Come join us in the group and share your thoughts.
We have set up a Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Community Group. This is the main way to stay informed of Happy Life Habits activities followed by the email mailing list.
To start the day with a positive focus we have a HLH Daily Quote Group.
Daily Quote, Question or Reflection. Max 1 a day, 4-7 days a week. A regular dose of positivity, happiness and meaning to help counter the world's negative bias.
I became an author! The ebook is “Every Day Happiness”.
I joined SoulBrite as a Wellness Coach, part of a team delivering wellbeing workshops into companies.
I am a hero and so can you be
I completed the 300 Day Heroic Coach to be a certified Heroic Performance Coach and also an Ambassador. This is a great personal development program and platform. Something for everyone who wants to learn, grow, change and make a positive impact. I really like the theory and practice delivered in short videos. audio are written format along with live training calls. You can check out the impact of the Heroic materials here in this research done by the Happiness Researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky and get free access to book summaries and great content.
The Heroic training has helped me focus on three areas:
Energy
Work
Love
With each of these areas I define 3 elements:
Identity
Virtues
Targets
Who I am or want to be in each area, my Heroic best self. How I want to show up to be that Heroic best self and the daily things I need to do to show up as best Heroic self. These are reviewed and committed to daily as part of morning routine.
I have got immersed again in voluntary roles for Jain faith based community groups and projects.
looking forward
Some of the the future plans and activities are:
Supporting World Values Day with some workshops
Continuing Gratitude Wellbeing Workshops for Mind In Enfield and Barnet. They have asked me to design and deliver a 10 week course in the Autumn.
30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course and Thanksgiving Dinner.
Reading 1 book a month - inspired by the book Limitless by Jim Kwik
Keep focus on Energy, Work and Love.
Keep sharing what I learn and making a positive impact.
Shaileen Shah - Happiness Coach, Speaker, Trainer and Author
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list and join the Happy Life Habits Community WhatsApp Group
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Every Day Happiness
In addition to being a coach, speaker and trainer, I am now also an author of the ebook, “Every Day Happiness”.
‘Every Day Happiness’ provides understanding, tools and habits we can utilise to navigate a world with rising uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. This increase makes more demands on our Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social and Spiritual Wellbeing. Everyday Happiness is a nonfiction book written for professionals, business owners, leaders and managers reminding them to choose to put Happiness and Positive Emotions at the heart of everything they do. Thereby they will have better happiness, mental and emotional wellbeing, productivity and life satisfaction in all areas of their life.
In addition to being a coach, speaker and trainer, I am now also an author of the ebook, “Every Day Happiness”.
I had not planned to write a book yet. The opportunity was presented and I chose to take it.
I've shared as much as possible both of science of happiness and actual ways to apply in order for the reader to choose to have Every Day Happiness. Every Day!
I hope it provides the reader real benefit. More so when they apply the ideas. That's where the magic is.
‘Every Day Happiness’ provides understanding, tools and habits we can utilise to navigate a world with rising uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. This increase makes more demands on our Physical, Mental, Emotional, Social and Spiritual Wellbeing. Everyday Happiness is a nonfiction book written for professionals, business owners, leaders and managers reminding them to choose to put Happiness and Positive Emotions at the heart of everything they do. Thereby they will have better happiness, mental and emotional wellbeing, productivity and life satisfaction in all areas of their life.
The Contents are:
What is Happiness?
How Happy Are You?
What Makes You Happy?
What Makes You Unhappy?
What Do We Mean by Happiness?
You Cannot Make Everyone Happy: The Fable of the Father, Son and Donkey
What Did I Learn? What Will I Do?
Why is Happiness Important?
The Science of Happiness
The Negativity Bias
How Does Happiness Help?
What Can We Do?
The World Happiness Index and Report
What Did I Learn? What Will I Do?
The Happiness Chemicals – Daily D.O.S.E
The Happy Chemicals
The Daily D.O.S.E
What did I learn? What will I do?
How to Increase Happiness
Models and Frameworks for Happiness
Which Model to Use?
What did I learn? What will I do?
Mindfulness Meditation
What is Mindfulness?
Benefits of Mindfulness
Practicing Mindfulness
What Did I Learn? What Will I Do?
Kindness
Kindness and Compassion
Benefits of Kindness
Practicing Kindness
Self Compassion
What Did I Learn? What Will I Do?
Gratitude
Gratitude and Blessings
Benefits of Gratitude
Practicing Gratitude
What Did I Learn? What Will I Do?
Journaling
The Magic of Journaling
Benefits of Journaling
Types of Journaling
What Did I Learn? What Will I Do?
Happy Life Habits: How to Structure an Every Day Happiness Day
What Do We Include in an Every Day Happiness Day
Habits
The Investment Banker and the Fisherman
Do You Choose to be Happy?
Support
Quotes & Key Messages
Happy Life Habits is available for corporate talks, workshops and training.
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
3 is The Magic Number
Three is a magic number. Many good things come in 3s and it is small enough for our brains to work with.
I had put a request out on LinkedIn and Facebook. I am working on a blog article related to things in 3s such as:
Mind, Body and Spirit
Heaven, Earth, Hell
Past, Present, Future
Gas, Liquid, Solid
Creator, Maintainer, Destroyer
or 3 positive words such as
Enthusiastic, Inspiring and Encouraging
Any 3s that come to mind for you that I may be able to include in the article?
What 3 virtues would you like to be remembered for?
What are 3 items of clothing that give you joy?
Three is a magic number. Remember De La Soul singing that? If you do you are from the best generation!
Watch and listen to this video by De La Soul on The Magic Number, if you remember it, turn it up, smile and sing along. If it is new to you - still do the same before reading on.
Many good things come in 3s. It is small enough for our brains to work with. This is published as we come towards the month three of the year. Published on “30/03/2023” - (how many 3s?) around 3:33pm.
I had put a request out on LinkedIn and Facebook. I am working on a blog article related to things in 3s such as:
Mind, Body and Spirit
Heaven, Earth, Hell
Past, Present, Future
Gas, Liquid, Solid
Creator, Maintainer, Destroyer
or 3 positive words such as
Enthusiastic, Inspiring and Encouraging
Any 3s that come to mind for you that I may be able to include in the article?
Here are responses…which resonate with you? What would you add?
Happy Life Habits embodies these sets of 3:
Which 3 interest you? Let me know.
The 3 domains for personal development, science of happiness and spirituality I actively nurture and continue learn in by committing to a 300 day coaching program, writing, speaking and running workshops and training; and being involved in community groups (including faith based).
What 3 virtues would you like to be remembered for?
At a recent prayer meeting for a friend who was very much part of one of the communities we belong to and who we had been on holiday with; when speeches were given by family, friends and community members; I was reminded of these 3 things which contribute to our happiness.
Connection - Our friend, Mr K, was very much about connection and relationships. Studies such as the 85 year Harvard study led by Robert Waldinger have shown that these help us life long, healthy and happy lives. His friends of more than 67 years shared how Mr K encouraged them to buy a house on the same street he was on when a house came up for sale. In this way Mr K has many of his close friends and families living on the same street over 6 or more homes.
Kindness and sharing - When Mr K went to Wembley, more that 30 mins from where he lived, to get the famous, delicious crispy bhajias from Maru Bhajia House he would order extra portions and deliver these goodies to his friends.
Service and helping make memorable experiences - we heard many stories of his contribution to service and in creating memorable experiences. Examples where writing a diary/journal for each of his daughters, helping people have a memorable experience of Madeira by taking them to places and activities which he had already done many times before.
What 3 virtues would you like to be remembered for?
For me its : Enthusiastic, Inspiring and Encouraging
Bucket List of 3
Growing up I had a bucket list or goals list with many items. Some achieved some drifted away and some still to pursue. As I learnt more about the science of happiness where the research showed that experiences rather than material things adds to our happiness my focus has shifted to experiences.
Before it was to own a Ferrari. Now it is to rent a Ferrari for a weekend or a week.
To swim with the dolphins - preferably somewhere exotic
To do a hot air balloon ride over a scenic area
One of these is planned for this year. Have you any experience of the above 3? Any suggestions or advice?
What 3 things are on your bucket list?
Triple Dipping
I was reminded of the triple dipping of a positive experience:
The planning, the anticipation, the looking forward to
The actual experience unfolding, the moment to moment joy
The savouring in the future of the past experience, reliving and retelling the experience.
A bit more about savouring in this blog article BACK TO THE FUTURE: CREATING MEMORIES TO SAVOUR.
What is an experience you can savour?
3 Jackets / Coats for the seasons of Autumn, Winter and Spring
I highly encourage investing in 3 good quality coats or jackets for the different seasons. I have one for Winter, Autumn, Spring (Rain) - each is well made, comfortable, functional, a joy to wear and feel plus having plenty of pockets for hats, gloves, pens, phone etc.
What are 3 items of clothing that give you joy?
Gratitude to the power of 3
In our gratitude workshops and gratitude journaling training we share Robert Emmons insight about Gratitude to the power of 3. Gratitude has the power to :
Heal
Help us when we feel deflated / down, to energise us
Give us Hope for the future
3 good things
A popular happiness practice that I have as part of my daily routine is the 3 Good Things practice. It is one of the 5 positive psychology based practices in the Happiness Journal ( The 5 Minute Journal) that we supply, use and teach how to use. The practice counters the negative bias that is in the world by purposefully finding 3 good things that happened in the day. A focus on positivity, optimism and goodness. In the last week or so many good things happened. I’ll share 3 here.
Was on the receiving end of The Gratitude Letter Activity that we do in the 30 Day Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course. Heard stories of others experiences and how they have adapted which is creating ripples further a field.
Celebrated International Day of Happiness with two Happiness Booster sessions where we used the gratitude cards. Great energising session combined with a wonderful sense of connection with familiar faces and strangers.
A focused, uplifting and knowledge sharing Master Mind Group Session where we continued to share with other the practices we are doing and the impact they are making. Plus shared the Law of the Garbage Truck. The story was shared to the Happy Life Habits Community and a member messaged to share their personal experience of applying the ideas from the story when they had been in an accident.
In addition to reading this blog article …What 3 good things happened to you this week?
The Happy Life Habits Pay it Forward Fund
Enables those who currently at this moment in time not be able to financially take part in the Happy Life Habits services to do so. It has been contributed to by generous people who believe in the services that Happy Life Habits provides.
During the last year we have been able to support 3 people.
Giving the Happiness Journal to a course attendee let them continue their practice one year after they had completed the 30 Day Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course.
Provided partial funding to two people of the 30 Day Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course.
Get in touch if you would like to pay it forward or if you would like to use the funds.
3 ways of staying connected to Happy Life Habits
We will be less active on social media using WhatsApp Community, email mailing list and sessions (virtual and in person) to enhance connection, community and coaching.
Join the new WhatsApp Community group that replaces the HLH Broadcast list. Stay informed about Happy Life Habits activities plus add value information such as events, offers, articles, videos, quotes plus dedicated HLH groups. Positively Impacting Happiness and Wellbeing Levels to go from theory to practice to mastery.
Average 2 messages a week.
Join the WhatsApp Happy Life Habits Community at https://chat.whatsapp.com/FJ4vetMGbEIEd2hH5BRfU2
Only admins will be able to see your name, number and message. No other members of the community will be able to contact you.
Join the HLH mailing list - see bottom of this page.
Attend a HLH session: talk, workshop, training course - virtual or in person.
3 ways of helping Happy Life Habits positively impacting happiness and wellbeing levels
Join a training course, workshop or service
Let people at your workplace, company, organisation, community group : HR, wellbeing officers and leaders know that Happy Life Habits can do talks, workshops and training that make a difference.
Help others know about HLH who may benefit from what we offer. You could help them positively change their life.
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Inner Cheerleader instead of Inner Critic
Inner Cheerleader instead of Inner Critic
2, 4, 6 8 Who Do We Appreciate?
Do you sometimes amaze yourself?
We often succumb to the inner critic we all have who tells us we can't do it, we not worthy, we are not good enough, it's going to fail etc.
I believe we have an Inner Cheerleader too.
Inner Cheerleader instead of Inner Critic
2, 4, 6 8 Who Do We Appreciate?
Do you sometimes amaze yourself?
We often succumb to the inner critic we all have who tells us we can't do it, we not worthy, we are not good enough, it's going to fail etc.
I believe we have an Inner Cheerleader too. I amazed myself yesterday. I went for a walk and chose to listen to the People on Purpose podcast by David Roberts which released the episode I am in on 1st Feb. We had recorded it end of last year so I had forgotten some of what we have covered.
It's bloody brilliant if I humbly say so myself, so rich in content, David has asked questions which give breadth and depth covering so much in 60 mins about life, happiness, wellbeing, stress, work life balance, habits, routines, practices, planning, my journey, personal development, science of happiness and spirituality.
Here are the show notes:
For this episode, David is joined by Shaileen Shah who is a happiness coach. He is the founder of Happy Life Habits. A business that helps people, communities, and companies to be happier, kinder, and more effective, and to respond in a meaningful way to the challenges that life and indeed wider society throws at us on a daily basis. Shaileen shares his own learning journey. Explaining how he explored the science of happiness and sharing some of these experiments and the results. Shaileen explains how to develop habits that naturally release the happy chemicals and flush away the stress chemicals. Something that automatically makes you feel happier as well as benefiting your health and improving the balance in your life.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Shaileen´s approach is informed by scientific studies into happiness as well as by cultural practices. Doing the things that naturally release the happy chemicals in your body is powerful. Hedonic happiness is fleeting. Eudaimonic happiness goes far deeper. Pro-social practices contribute massively to happiness. Acknowledge negative emotions like anger, but don't dwell on them. You have to actively counter society's negative bias. Shaileen shares several ways to do this. Connection with others is really important. Be aware of what you have achieved in the past year. It can be used as fuel to take you further. Take stock 4 or 5 times a year. Life is short, make the absolute most of it.
BEST MOMENTS
‘With that timeout, I revisited and really looked at the things which were important to me, I reflected, I looked at my values again,’ ‘Happiness is not just a fleeting emotion, it's bigger than that.’ ‘There is flex in my planning, if an opportunity comes along, which I hadn't planned for, but it feels right … I say yes to this’
It is 60 mins, take 10 minutes and listen today, if you like what you hear listen to another 10 today or tomorrow and repeat. (use link in original post or one shared in comments)
What's your Inner Cheerleader cheering you on about?
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Sometimes it’s just Mission Impossible
Sometimes it feels like Mission Impossible with the projects and activities we have ongoing with Happy Life Habits at the moment (most are this month!) however the Life in 3 Acts sums up Happy Life Habits’ approach. This is what we have been up to or have on the near horizon.
The Self Care Infographic has been well received and shared. It has help my business clients connect with their clients including past clients.
Kids Happiness Boosters for Half Term (completely new)
Gratitude Journaling for Happiness Workshop with Mind In Enfield and Barnet
30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course
Happier Relationships with Happy Life Habits
HLH International Day of Happiness Global Virtual Festival
Master Mind Group focus on Learning
Initial discussions regarding HLH taking part in podcasts or speaking at community groups and companies
ONE FOR THE KIDS, ONE FOR THE ADULTS (FREE) AND ONE FOR EVERYONE (FREE)
Happy Life Habits have got
(1) Half term Happiness Booster sessions arranged for kids
(2) Happier Relationships workshop for adults - Free tickets available now (limited number)
(3) Global Virtual Happiness Festival - for all - pre-launch early bird free tickets available now (limited numbers).
We have session suggestions from authors, coaches, trainers, speakers, comedians, chocolatiers etc that are being reviewed such as:
Nothing Links Like Laughter
Healthy Lifestyle = Happy You
Chocolate for a happier life
Mindfulness / Meditation for younger children
Center of Happiness
Like a Comedian
What's self care to you?
How to be kind to yourself when the world hasn’t been kind to you
If you would like to share/present/run session or have stall at the Festival there are currently opportunities to get involved
Sometimes it feels like Mission Impossible with the projects and activities we have ongoing with Happy Life Habits at the moment (most are this month!) however the Life in 3 Acts sums up Happy Life Habits’ approach. This is what we have been up to or have on the near horizon.
The Self Care Infographic has been well received and shared. It has help my business clients connect with their clients including past clients.
Kids Happiness Boosters for Half Term (completely new)
Gratitude Journaling for Happiness Workshop with Mind In Enfield and Barnet
30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course
Happier Relationships with Happy Life Habits
HLH International Day of Happiness Global Virtual Festival
Master Mind Group focus on Learning
Initial discussions regarding HLH taking part in podcasts or speaking at community groups and companies
All of these involve a fair bit such as:
What we are doing and Why
Research
Posters /Graphics for the event
Setting up/sharing HLH Activities on Eventbrite, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, HLH Website, WhatsApp, Blog, Emails
Booking forms
Conversations with various parties and collaborators
Learning various platforms
I’m loving it, learning, growing, connecting, collaborating and impacting.
Sometimes it’s going to have to be Mission Impossible
Image from https://www.imdb.com/
I was only going to watch 10 minutes of the film Mission Impossible, again, having watched it many times before during the last 25+ years, it still entertains.
An hour and half later the film ended and I felt good. I felt good because the film has fast moving action, gadgets, plot twists, cool music score all keeping the brain engaged as the good guy wins.
Tom Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt shows resilience, confidence, resourcefulness, creativity and attention to detail to name but a few.
It has some iconic memorable scenes like Tom Cruise’s character catching the bead of sweat from falling onto the floor which has sensors to trigger alarm if pressure changes, the accessing of the CIA computer while dangling from the ceiling and the helicopter tied to the Eurostar train as it goes into a tunnel.
Which film(s) do you watch for 10 minutes again then end up enjoying the whole film again and what do you like about the film?
Kids Happiness Boosters for Half Term (completely new)
I really believe if we can introduce positive habits to children early on then they can develop and use coping tools for the rest of their life.
To find out more or book click here
Gratitude
We continue sharing and making a difference with the Gratitude Journaling for Happiness Workshop with Mind In Enfield and Barnet.
The January 30 Day Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training course has just ended. Lovely sharing and feedback during the month and on the celebration call as trainees shared their experience and transforming shifts. Each iteration of the course has unique elements and new ideas introduced.
Our guest speakers those who had done the course previously shared the impact of the course on them. Terence shared how it helps him cope with depression with medication and the positive impact it has given him. The course brings so many positive elements.
Next course dates are 1st May.
Here is a guest speaker testimonial. Next blog will have another one.
Priti Shah - Debt Solution Specialist : Regional Director at Lightside Financial
Build Resilience and Mental Strength for the future
Resources that will help now, every single day and for the future for the rest of life
Benefiting from: Positive intentions
Setting the day up well
Think in detailed/ granular way
Feel happier from the morning
Discipline and Habit to do every day
Happier Relationships
Good healthy relationships are shown to lead to long, happy, healthy lives. February being the month of Valentines we have an event on Happier Relationships
It is for singles, couples, friend, groups, You!
It will be a mix of sharing some information, interactive discussions and fun games on the exciting Wonder platform. Come alone or bring a friend or few.
Master Mind Group (MMG)
The MMG had a bonus kick off meeting in January where we shared the focus for February meeting to be on Learning. Using our chosen platform at self pace we are learning how to learn effectively When we meet in the month each member will share key ideas from a book they have chosen on the platform as well as how they are applying the ideas. Examples of the books are: Limitless, Make it Stick, How to be a straight A student, Mindset, Flow, Deep Work etc.
I’m very much enjoying the learning process and look forward to enhancing my knowledge with the group sharing.
Happy Life Habits International Day of Happiness Global Virtual Festival 19th March
Imagine a Happiness Festival a bit like the Ideal Home exhibition with different themed zones, show stages with scheduled events and individual stalls. Multiple sessions running at the same time. Various Zones such as Laughter, Relaxation, Movement, Creativeness, Science of Happiness
The pre-launch free tickets are available for booking now.
For the last few years Happy Life Habits (HLH) has hosted and served during the UN’s International Day of Happiness (IDOH): 20th March and Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) :May.
In 2022 we are continuing this with an International Day of Happiness Virtual Festival on Sat 19th March 2022 (1 day before IDOH)
ARE YOU INTERESTED TO BE A BIGGER PART OF IT?
THE OPTIONS ARE:
Share a session for 15mins - 60mins
Share a session and also have a stall
Be a sponsor
For further info on any of these.
We have session suggestions from authors, coaches, trainers, speakers, comedians, chocolatiers etc that are being reviewed such as:
Nothing Links Like Laughter
Interactive chat about what makes us laugh. The what, why, and how to make it happen. Appreciating how it positively affects every aspect of communication, whether spoken or written, whether for pleasure or business.
Healthy Lifestyle = Happy You
We often think that when we'll be successful, fit and settled, we'll be happy. In this session we'll discuss the steps everyone can take to become more confident, energised and healthy and just be the best and happiest version of yourself. You'll get clear and easy actions that you can implement straight away and will give you a sense of achievement to help you take back control of what you think, eat and do so as to releasing the real you!
Chocolate for a happier life
An introduction to chocolate appreciation
From an OBE awarded chocolatier with over 30 years experience
Mindfulness / Meditation for younger children
Mindfulness activities and book reading
Center of Happiness
You can spend your whole life searching for happiness. Once you discover the center of happiness, your search ends and you truly start living a happy life. Learn what is that center and how can you connect with it.
Like a Comedian
There is a lot we can all learn from the approach we comedians take to our work. I'm not just talking about laughter, although that is invaluable. Our approach to creativity, our willingness to try out imperfect material in public, our connection with our audience. I will give people some tools to help free them from some of the stresses they encounter, especially in their working lives, based on the comedian's craft.
What's self care to you?
Self Care session - to provide an overview of what self care can be for you. An opportunity to consider the eight components of self care
How to be kind to yourself when the world hasn’t been kind to you
People will take away simple tools to help themselves when they feel negative emotions. These are simple and powerful and gives an immediate release whilst building our ability to accept our emotions.
These are some, others include book readings for children, financial wellbeing for kids, breathwork etc.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Looking Back, Looking Forward - HLH 2021 Review and 2022 Plans
In this blog article:
HLH 2021 review
MasterMind Group 2021 Learning Segment : RCSI : The Science of Happiness & Health
MasterMind Group 2022 opportunity
A funny True story
In this blog article:
HLH 2021 review
MasterMind Group 2021 Learning Segment : RCSI : The Science of Happiness & Health
MasterMind Group 2022 opportunity
A funny True story
Many of the HLH activities, events, projects and organisations during 2021
As part of Looking Back, Looking Forward (LBLF) Workshop
I have done a Happy Life Habits (HLH) 2021 Review. I love looking back and seeing what has been experienced during the year, lessons learnt, changes made and savour the positive times. I had forgotten many of the experiences in the first half of the year. Going through this process with the workbook was positive, energising, clarifying and helped show some of the themes. I have also made exciting plans for the forthcoming year.
Why? Our Mission:
Positively Impacting Happiness & Well-Being Levels so that individuals, groups, communities and companies can engage with life in a happier, kinder, effective & more meaningful way for the greater good.
How in 2021?
By delivering and sharing various events, activities, training, projects, ideas and experiences which included:
Gratitude & Happiness :
90 Days of Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course (3 X 1 month courses)
Thanksgiving Happiness Booster
Gratitude Journaling for Happiness for Mind In Enfield & Barnet (2 x 3 hour workshops)
Numerous Happiness Journals sold/gifted
18 Inspiration Point Podcasts of 1 hour each (12 consecutive weeks for series 2 & 3 during Lockdown)
One series was dedicated to Women, Mothers Day and International Women's Day
Celebrated International Day of Happiness
Using the Wonder platform and having a variety of speakers, coaches, therapists, practitioners share in zones for Laughter, Relaxation, dealing with loss and conversations
Talk at Healing Our Earth
6 MasterMind Group sessions
Learning & Brainstorming solutions
Learning : 10 modules on The Science of Health and Happiness by RSCI
Mental Health : Support during all of May
Happiness Boosters
Daily reflective questions in FB group
Daily release of video series during MHAW in website, LinkedIn, HLH Community, Asian Parents Club, Oshwal Connect and Covid 19 Mental Health Support
Talks on MH - APC x 2
Happiness Boosters x2
Hosting a 21 Day Simple Living Challenge
Positive Grief:
100 mins talk at Shishukunj Bethak - at Bhavan, live streamed on Zoom and recorded
Recording made into smaller bite sized videos and shared on website, FB during National Grief Awareness Week
Talk on Positive Grief given in Gujarati at Shishukunj Anandkunj for elderly audience
Positive Grief and Gratitude shared at Living Bridge Conversations with Tony Patti - Iglobal News
Talks on Science of Happiness, Gratitude, Mental Health, Grief, The Role of Effective Self care in Positive Leadership, Habits for:
Xerox The Women’s Alliance
Iglobal iWellness Show,
iRadio Podcast with Tony Patti
Living Bridge Conversations
Shishukunj (x2)
Shrimad Rajchandra Dharampur Mission Wellness Series
Healing Our Earth (International Day of Happiness)
Shared through various articles, blog posts etc on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube, WhatsApp and the HLH website.
Training/Learning undertaken
Mental Health First Aid & Mental Health Advocacy in the Workplace Level 2 Certification
6 weeks PQ Coaching Program
10 Module RSCI The Science of Happiness & Health
Various Bob Proctor, Robin Sharma and other trainings
Results: How many people did we Positively Impact their Happiness & Wellbeing Levels?
We have no idea. It’s not something we can measure.
Were you one?
One thing I know for sure is that one person did have a positive impact on their happiness and wellbeing levels from each and every one of these events, activities, training, projects, ideas and experiences. And that’s me! Thank you for the opportunities, support, encouragement, feedback and referrals.
Register here Happy Life Habits MMG 2022
MasterMind Group Learning Segment : RCSI : The Science of Happiness & Health
As part of the monthly MasterMind Group (MMG) we have a learning segment and a brain problem solving segment. For the learning segment we have been doing the RSCI : The Science of Happiness & Health Course. In the original course there were 25,000 people registered on it.
I had details about the course shared with me, looked at it, loved it and shared the opportunity with the MMG.
In the MMG we have worked through the 10 module curriculum taking 2-3 videos each month, watching them in our own time, making notes and then sharing them together at the MMG meeting.
I loved it as it resonated with what I learn and share drawing upon teachings from :
Stephen Covey
Viktor Frankl
Carol Dweck
Sonya Lyubomirsky
Martin Seligman
Barbara Fredrickson
Mihaly Csiksentmihalyi
Kristen Neff
James Clear
Charles Duhigg
The course shares these concepts on Increasing our Health and Happiness:
Understanding PERMA
Develop a Growth Mindset
Develop our Optimism
Understand mind-body relationships
Practising Mindfulness Meditation
Learning from the Blue Zones
Understanding our meaning & purpose ‘ikigai’
Practising Gratitude and Forgiveness
Explaining our Time perceptions
Developing positive resonance with others
Practising Empathy, compassion for others and self
Letting Positive Emotions broaden and build us
Identifying and using our personal strengths
Identifying and changing our stories
The practical daily habits we can do are:
Breathe
Meditate
Cultivate Compassion for self and others
Managing thinking process
Managing behaviour by observing thoughts (mindfulness)
Stories we tell ourselves
Positive Emotions leading to flourishing
Flow/Focus
Grow towards the light
Here is a video of the last module - worth watching
Here is what MMG members have shared of their experience:
"I've really enjoyed the learning segment which has touched on some of my degree work. Discovering how to put the learning to use as an individual when interacting with the other 'minds' of the group is fun and informative. I walk away every time feeling better about my development."
"An enriching and rewarding experience that stretched my mind, allowed the exploration of topics that I wouldn't come across in my day job, and practical insights of actions to take that I will benefit from now and in the future."
MasterMind Group 2022 opportunity
Take a moment to reflect on the last year. Also look forward to where you want to be, what you want to have experienced and learnt by this time next year. Take control and supercharge your development in 2022 so when you look back you have grown and developed from where you are now. MasterMind Group is open for registration, you can register here
Register here Happy Life Habits MMG 2022
A Funny True Story
A friend recently sent me a WhatsApp message as below:
I saw you in this video! https://youtu.be/I6QwXyE0J9c
It was a video of the motivational and spiritual teacher Gaur Gopal Das titled ‘Watch This If You Need To Say Sorry To Someone’.
I was cautious as having been a victim of Identity fraud and with many scams / fraud on the increase. (I have written about that experience in Identity Theft Fraud: How I lost more than 7 figures...and so could you). I have heard of and experienced messages like this from hacked accounts where the link takes you to a dodgy site on installs malware - hence my guard was up. I asked
Hi who is this?
in order to check if the name was correct, It was, to fully check I called them, it was my friend and I explained the reasoning for my questioning etc. It was lovely to have a quick, impromptu catch up.
I watched the video, and indeed I was in the audience from a wonderful talk I had attended by Gaur Gopal Das a few years ago.
I messaged my friend to thank them for sharing and reminding me of the important message Gaur shared. It complements with the bite sized Positive Grief video I did on Contact and Connection. I’ll add it to the Positive Grief page. I also said:
Ok, I will use this funny reply next time I get message like this, I saw you in this video! https://youtu.be/I6QwXyE0J9c.
"That's not me, I know we have same hairstyle but that's Gaur Gopal Das!"
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
11th November : Today I am reminded...
I am reminded that memories creating and remembering are important…
Saturday 13th November is World Kindness Day. When we practice kindness we release the happy chemicals in ourselves, in those who receive the kind act and also in those who witness it. It’s what I call the Triple Whammy.
What is the difference between skills and values/qualities?
Looking Back, Looking Forward Workshop
11th November : Today I am reminded...
I am reminded that memories creating and remembering are important, my mum has Dementia.
Today is Remembrance Day, Veteran's Day, Armistice Day. The 11th Hour on the 11th Day of the 11th Month.
I am reminded of those
"who gave their todays so we could have our tomorrows".
I am reminded of the sacrifices to protect freedoms and give safety.
Today is the 11 month since my dad passed away. I am reminded of his kindness, positivity and helpfulness. I am reminded of death and that life is short.
Today is my nephew Kush's birthday, he is twenty something. Happy Birthday. He dropped out of Cass Business School to follow his entrepreneurial spirit and passion to be creative with his awesome street jewellery business Feather Pendants. I am reminded of birth, happiness, following your dreams, being creative.
Today is my second Workshop on Gratitude Journaling for Happiness with the Charity Mind in Enfield and Barnet. I am reminded of the power of gratitude, journaling, Thanksgiving towards the end of the month. I am reminded how blessed I am to do what I love and love what I do: Positively Impacting Happiness & Wellbeing Levels.
On Saturday 16th it is World Kindness Day. I am reminded:
"In a World where you can be anything, be Kind"
Today, what are you reminded of?
World Kindness Day
Saturday 13th November is World Kindness Day. When we practice kindness we release the happy chemicals in ourselves, in those who receive the kind act and also in those who witness it. It’s what I call the Triple Whammy.
Do some purposeful acts of kindness
Happy Life Habits as an act of Kindess and Thanksgiving has gifted tickets for the Last Inspiration Point Podcast episode on December 8th with our friend Vicky Johnson - co-founder of the Museum of Happiness. See here for tickets and please note the episode has been extended to more that the usual 1 hour.
What is the difference between skills and values/qualities?
I shared this question in the HLH Facebook Community group and got some insightful answers. I did some research, reflection and share my thoughts here.
Skills can be learnt, trained and relate to what we do. They are often what comes after “I can …” or “I am able to…” e.g. I can swim, I can drive, I can read. They are to do with doing.
Qualities / Values are innate, they are related to character, to who we are, to how we do things. E.g. they often come after “ I am…” E.g. I am patient, I am kind, I am happy. They are to do with being.
I think skills we acquire and qualities/values we uncover, nurture, cultivate. Both can require effort, focus, learning, practice, training.
The Happy Life Habits 30 Day Gratitude and Habit Immersion Training Course starts by sharing knowledge and training to develop the skills to be grateful and journaling thereby with consistent, daily, focused practice it develops and nurtures the qualities in us so we move from practicing gratitude to being grateful - we uncover the qualities of who we are.
What I am finding is that many people see training as a cost as opposed to an investment. They would be happy to spend £125 on a meal or two out at a restaurant or a night out but not see the value of investing £125 in themselves to develop lifechanging habits. They do not measure the investment cost to being in the same place in 1 years time. No growth, no progress - the same old, same old.
The HLH Master Mind Group will continue in 2022 to focus on skills training, learning and nurturing qualities looking at topics such as productivity, Energy, Sleep, Nutrition, etc to help us put into action changes for improving ourselves and our lives.
Looking Back, Looking Forward Workshop
A great way to consider the skills and qualities we have and those we want to develop is by doing a review / reflection of the last year and plans for the following year. The Looking Back, Looking Forward Workshop helps with this. This workshop is £20 but you can attend for free by investing in yourself during November with one of these Happy Life Habits products or services:
Happiness Journal - get started with instant happiness and positivity plus start of positive habits - £25
90 mins Gratitude & Journal Workshop - learn how to develop positive habits and get started with using the journal (included as part of workshop) - £55
30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course - full on focus and support to develop the positive habits in gratitude & journaling and rewire the brain for a new mindset. £125
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaileen-shah/
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
I GOT HIGH ON GRASS, WEED AND POT
It’s been tough times with many challenges, stresses and emotions to deal with. Some dealt with and some not so well. To help I have turned to grass, weed and pot. Here I share some of those experiences, insights and learning.
I GOT HIGH ON GRASS, WEED & POT
It’s been tough times with many challenges, stresses and emotions to deal with. Some dealt with well and some not so well. To help I have turned to grass, weed and pot. Here I share some of those experiences, insights and learning.
I am not talking about getting high on grass, weed or pot in the sense of drugs but about positive emotions from gardening and nature.
Grass
The grass is greener where you water it
Neil Barringham.
During Spring I took out the lawnmower and cut the lawn. Then many weeks passed and the grass grew and grew. Once again I took out the less than 1 year old lawnmower, set it to the lower setting to cut the grass very short and started to mow the lawn. The lawnmower was hard to push, struggled and did not make a lot of headway. Then it stopped working. Could it be the fuse, the socket, the extension lead, the lawnmower? I checked the lawnmower cord into the extension lead, that was fine. I checked the extension lead into the wall socket and that it was switched on - that was fine too. I plugged in another device in the wall socket to confirm socket was fine, did the same with the extension lead. They were all fine, so by process of elimination the problem was with the lawnmower or its cord/plug. Changing the fuse made no difference. Was the lawnmower still in warranty? Was it going to cost a fortune to solve?
I unplugged the lawnmower, turned it upside down and checked the blades etc. The long grass had got entwined around the blade spinner (hover mover) and stopped it from spinning. Slowly I removed all the strands that were wrapped around, plugged in the mower, and started it. The joyous sound of a whirling blade was heard. A few weeks later I cut the grass again on mid height setting and also used strimmer. So what were the lessons learned?
Lessons learned
If you try to cut too long a grass with too low a setting it won’t work. You have to tackle the challenge with the right setting. To be effective, the ability to produce and the capability of producing need to be on par. Too big a challenge without the correct ability will lead to failure.
When you have a big problem, break the problem down into smaller chunks and tackle each one to identify where the actual problem is.
Once you identify the problem establish if you can fix it yourself or need expert help
For maintaining a good lawn or anything else it requires regular attention /cutting/ routines at the appropriate frequency be that daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly or yearly.
Know which tool to use for which problem. If the only tool in your tool box is a hammer all your problems will look like nails. Use correct tools for the correct job, using the strimmer or hand shears to cut the long grass may not be the best approach. Using a spade would be the wrong tool for the job.
Stephen Covey 7th Habit : Sharpen the Saw - keep the saw sharp to do the job. Keep learning, investing and developing yourself.
Establishing, investigating and resolving the problem myself gave a satisfaction and affirmed my growth mindset and provided an entry for my happiness journal - I could have got a gardener to do the job. Where and when appropriate I get the correct help involved.
What is needed for Growth (Pot)?
What is needed for Growth?
.
When I Google to see what is need for growth, in particular plant growth the results shown vary from 4 to 7 things. The four things are best described with this acronym: LAWN
L = Light - Sunlight
A = Air - Carbon dioxide
W = Water - H20
N = Nutrients - Soil etc
The magic of photosynthesis in plants takes water (Carbon dioxide) + Water + Energy from light to transform it; using Chlorophyll; into food (glucose) and oxygen.
The additional items are : The right temperature, room to grow (space) and time - it is not overnight.
Similarly for our growth we need the right environment (air to breathe, water to hydrate, food for nutrients, people, etc), goals to grow towards (sunlight), space to grow - not be constrained or limited by our thinking, beliefs, fears and time. We often also need a catalyst like the Chlorophyll to create that growth transformation - this may be internal or external.
What makes the plant strong and build resilience is exposure to challenge - rain, wind, sun, insects, etc. Similarly challenge helps us grow and develop resilience. The plant if in a pot needs to be in the right size of the pot, as it outgrows the pot it should be re-potted into a bigger pot so it has space to grow. Likewise we need to move out of our comfort zone into a slightly bigger zone, grow and keep going. If we try to move out too far too fast, similar to a seedling being put into a very large pot it will struggle.
Strong, deep roots are needed.
Here is an interesting video shared by KarmaTube about how trees talk to each other thought their roots.
Gardening & Community Gardens
We might think we are nurturing our garden, but of course it’s our garden that is really nurturing us” -Jenny Uglow
Many thanks to Devi for sharing the above quote in the Happy Life Habits Community Facebook Group.
Being in nature and gardening have many beneficial effects. Some I have experienced when gardening, tree planting, working in a community garden or being in nature are relate to the happiness/health dimensions of Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional and Spiritual :
Connection
Community
Mindfulness, Present moment awareness
Focus, Distance from our troubles
Relaxation, Therapeutic
Nurturing growth
Working with our hands
Vitamin D
Noticing smells, the air and watching the wildlife
Reminded of what we sow is what we reap
Pruning - get rid of habits, beliefs and things that don’t serve us to allow space for those that do
The greenness and expanse of nature has a calming and awe inspiring effect. The colour green is relaxing hence in TV studios they have the green room used before people go on air. This article shares the benefits of gardening and being in greenery.
Martine Drake from Mind in Enfield & Barnet took part in the Happy Life Habits 30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course. She runs a community garden and has this to share:
Results suggest that community gardens were perceived by gardeners to provide numerous health benefits, including improved access to food, improved nutrition, increased physical activity and improved mental health. Community gardens were also seen to promote social health and community cohesion.
From my experiences running the garden for Mind in Enfield and Barnet, we have seen increased physical activity (including from walking to and from the site) and improved mental health mainly from being with other people in an attractive environment.
Weed
Weeds take no effort to grow and they grow quickly.
They take nutrients away from plants/flowers.
Negative thoughts are like weeds. They are an energy drain.
We have to put in effort to remove them, take them out at the roots, plough the land (mind) and plant the seeds we want to nurture, feed, cultivate, blossom and bear fruit.
The world is on a negative bias and the work of Barbara Fredrickson on positive emotions shows that we need a ratio of 3:1 of positive emotions to negative to balance out the negative. Likewise for a wonderful bloom we need to plant many more flowers than weeds so there is hardly any room for the weeds to grow.
We have to actively remove the weeds/negative thoughts and cultivate the flowers/positivity we want to blossom, enjoy and share.
“Happiness held is the seed,
Happiness shared is the flower” - John Harrigan
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaileen-shah/
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk