What am I doing here?
I hated every minute, every moment. “What am I doing here?” I asked myself many a time. I was unhappy, frustrated, annoyed and unproductive. Losing company loyalty fast. Working late again on a task which I was ill equipped for. Not having the correct skills, knowledge or support. One that was not really part of my role or responsibilities. I was caught in the cross fire of stupid office politics between 2 departments; my department : Technology and the other department : Business Change. I was a technical lead on the project, that meant I’m a coder, designer, integrator not a business specification writer. However here I was sat at a desk in business change trying to write business specifications for the first and last time in my life. Hating every minute, every moment. Some additional back story context, the bank I had worked for had been bailed out in the financial crisis of 2008, yes that bank. It had spent silly amounts on a takeover of another bank, now I was in a changing culture, uncertain future, with managers who did not really know me, on a project from hell.
This was because I was not working from my strengths. In fact far from it.
These days when I work from my strengths I am in good flow mode, creative, productive, engaging, happy, on fire and on purpose. For an example of that, have a listen to recent podcasts/talks. Most recent is the Woo Woo Wednesday Show Podcast where we covered a lot of ground from gratitude, grief, science of happiness to Tony Robbins Firewalk Seminar and Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I was asked to share an overview of the 7 Habits - this was not pre-planned, it was spontaneous. Fortunately the habits have been a big part of my development so I was able to share my view and insights enthusiastically. I loved every minute, every moment. I was feeling energetic, connected and congruent. I was living from my strengths.
What are your strengths and why be aware of them?
Character Strengths are the positive parts of your personality that impact how you think, feel and behave.
Knowing and applying your highest character strengths is the key to you being your best self.
Character strengths are the core personality traits that define your unique identity and make you feel authentic, alive and engaged in life.
Research shows learning about your strengths and how to express them can make you happier, less stressed, more productive at work and better connected to others.
From VIA Institute on Character
As I continue learning and exploring I am regularly reminded of virtues and character strengths. These have been a core part of my spiritual development, personal development, happiness & wellbeing. In fact the initial version of the Gratitude Workshop was born more that 7 years ago at a Young Jains Virtue Lab where we explored and practiced virtues such as gratitude, forgiveness, humility and compassion. There are 4 foundation qualities recommended to nurture and cultivate for our spiritual journey. I’ll share two of them here, The first being ‘Maitri’ , universal friendliness, unconditional love and I akin it to the Buddhist concept of Metta, Loving Kindness. More on this in next blog dedicated to Mental Health Awareness Week which is on the theme of Loneliness. Another is ‘Pramod’ , recognising and appreciating the good qualities in others. This for me is an expression of gratitude and we fully experience this in the 30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course when we do a powerful Gratitude Letter exercise.
Current coaching program and courses I have done re-iterate knowing our core virtues /strengths and living/expressing them.
I have been taking the VIA (Virtues In Action) character strengths test for the last few years. I encouraged our Master Mind Group members take the test in 2021 and we learnt more about them in the course on Happiness and Health we were doing together. Interestingly MY TOP 5 (from the list of 24 split over 6 categories : WISDOM,COURAGE, HUMANITY, JUSTICE, TEMPERANCE, TRANSCENDENCE) have been fairly consistent last few years though order does change. Here they are for March 2022.
This is great as it fits hand in glove with what Happy Life Habits is about:
HAPPY LIFE HABITS = PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT + THE SCIENCE OF HAPPINESS + SPIRITUALITY
The 30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course expresses all 5 virtues. The Master Mind Group has learning as a core component. The community talks and free events / talks are acts of kindness and spirituality.
If you would like to find out your character strengths then you can take the free short survey by clicking here VIA Character Strengths Survey or finding the survey at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Patience is a virtue…
I have enjoyed the very visual posts shared by Janis Ozolins recently on LinkedIn.
This one, in relation to patience, struck a chord. I am all of the roles shown in the image. Being a parent definitely needs patience.
I suggested another one right next to parent and of same height or taller is "carer for your parent".
I suggested another one right next to parent and of same height or taller is "carer for your parent".
The last 15 months or so I have needed to cultivate my patience as I become one of the main carers for my elder mum (80+) who was widowed 15 months ago and suffers from both Parkinson's and Dementia.
Sometimes I have lost my patience but the lesson and opportunity comes again and again.
As they say Patience is a virtue and I'm all for developing and expressing virtues.
Marketing is about Values says Steve Jobs
A brilliant example of focus on strengths, virtues/values as well as conviction to a vision and sense of purpose. Watch the whole 15 minute video introducing the Think Different campaign for Apple - it is a master class, so inspiring and in hindsight what awesome foresight.
Last 100 Days or so plus next 100 Days or so
Here are some of the activities and events we have delivered and will be delivering. They include the Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course, Master Mind Group sessions, Gratitude & Journal Workshop for Mind In Enfield and Barnet, Kids Happiness Booster sessions, Happier Relationships, Positive Grief talk for the Lohana Community of North London, Stress & Mental Health at Better plus just last month the Happiness Festival with over a dozen speakers to celebrate International Day of Happiness.
Mental Health Awareness Week 9 -15 May 2022 : Theme Loneliness
Happy Life Habits (HLH) is again supporting Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW). This year the theme is Loneliness.
The Paradox is you are not alone in feeling alone.
When have you experienced Mental Health Challenges or loneliness? How did you feel? What did you do? What Helped?
I've felt lonely or experience Mental Health challenges (stress) :
1st week and 1st year at University
During the Summer when finishing an MSc.
In my first job during my twenties for a US consultancy when I was posted in the US for a few weeks/months - first and only birthday and Diwali on my own without family or friends
When on honeymoon in the Maldives and better half needed an emergency operation
At work when there was after work drinks at pub, being a non-drinker and introverted I felt out of place.
When I suffered work related stress
At the start of the pandemic
I felt disconnected, on my own, low, no drive.
Anyone else experienced Mental Health Challenges or loneliness and are happy to share?
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We are partnering with some groups, organisations and individuals to support in terms of awareness, community and connection. These are : Mind In Enfield and Barnet, Young Jains, Oshwal Connect, Manish Gohel (Asian Parents Club, Business Club) , Reshna Shah, Aarti O Gosrani (Oshwal Connect), Sonal Dave, Priya Shah, Hansa Pankhania and Martine Drake (Mind In Enfield and Barnet) . We ae also very grateful to Shandip Shah from Balance Consultancy in providing sponsorship for this project.
Daily Evening sessions (will be recorded) with guest speakers followed by activity to foster connection & community.
Sessions on
Panel discussion on Community & Connection
The charity Mind in Enfield & Barnet sharing on Mental Health and Loneliness
How to overcome Loneliness
Stress & Anxiety in the Workplace
Suicide Prevention
See the posters below or events page for more details.
The next blog will be fully related to Mental Health Awareness week and the theme of loneliness. Be sure to sign up for the newsletter to get it in you inbox and not miss it.
Register Now for life changing, happiness inducing events
Register Now for life changing, happiness inducing events
What an opportunity and uplifting experience. Thank you Shaileen Shah, at ‘happy life habits’.
I truly appreciate every session (and all the encouragement and support, connection and sharing in the group, and between sessions), and your incredible commitment to making it such a enriching experience.
There are so many benefits from this experience. It has opened my eyes and shown me how much more intentionally and enjoyably I can be living. I highly recommend engaging with Happy life habits.
Mary Thomson. NHS Public Governor, nurse and educator._________________________________________________________________________
Joining the Mastermind Group enabled me to be among like-minded people who all wanted to learn new things and improve their lifestyle. I enjoyed the discussions which were inspiring and uplifting. I found everyone in the group non-judgemental and genuinely interested in helping and supporting each other. Personally, they helped me resolve a difficult challenge by suggesting a few different solutions.Pragna, Carer
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In 2021 I joined the Mastermind group where it enhanced my own personal development and learnt some techniques to optimise my learning and energy which were put in practise as well. We also had to choose a book to the relevant topic and discuss what we grasped from it.
It's all about exchanging themes and ideas to suit your own pace and being with like minded people who want to make a change for themselves in a positive way!
This has definitely made me utilise my time in an efficient way and see what my priorities are and bringing about awareness.
Thank you Shaileen for bringing colours to all the members and touching the lives of many friends!
See the change in you as you bring happiness to yourself and others!
Reshna Shah
Finance Manager
Pay it Forward Fund
A sponsored or part sponsored space on the excellent, life changing, mind shifting 30 Day Happy Life Habits Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course (worth £135+).
As a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer I have experienced Mental Health challenges such as stress, grief, loneliness, etc. One of the practices that science says and certainly has been my experience for better mental and emotional wellbeing is the practice of gratitude and journaling.
That is why during the start of the pandemic in 2020 we launched the 30 Day training course that has positively impacted many. There are many benefits that I can't list here but refer you to the dedicated web page for the course.
Through some generous seed funding from my old badminton club, Sonal Dave and others who see the benefits of the work we do have a small Pay It Forward fund.
If you or you know someone who may benefit from the Training Course but at the current moment are not able to due to financial reasons then the Pay It Forward Fund can help. As the name says Pay It Forward is someone having paid before to allow this opportunity. If you do take up the Pay It Forward funding we hope that when circumstances change for you that you are able to help Pay It Forward for someone else.
On registration form in the referral code put "Pay It Forward Fund" if you want to request use of the fund.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.