ARTICLES & BLOG
Looking Forward and Creating Magic
Having things to look forward to has a positive impact on us. The holiday or the together that you have planned; you enjoy the anticipation leading up to the event sometimes more than the actual event. Looking forward also can fill us with hope. I’ve enjoyed planning things and having activities to look forward to, they have helped to navigate the turbulent experiences life gives us.
Self Care Retreat
Having things to look forward to has a positive impact on us. The holiday or the together that you have planned; you enjoy the anticipation leading up to the event sometimes more than the actual event. Looking forward also can fill us with hope. I’ve enjoyed planning things and having activities to look forward to, they have helped to navigate the turbulent experiences life gives us.
In December I worked on the Year Compass and the Mel Robbins Best Year planner that I have shared in the Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Community. I filled out the planners, looking back on the last year and the plans for the forthcoming year. In addition to more corporate opportunities two I had added as dream/stretch goals were : (1) A retreat and (2) a TED Style talk.
I am excited that plans are progressing for both of these faster than anticipated. This is due to the power of goal setting visualisation, planning, nurturing relationships, taking action. In doing these I set my subconscious in motion and when the opportunities came or I created it was like magic.
In the supermarket after not being in direct touch for many years I bumped into good friend of mine, Saijal. We had served together as volunteers with the Young Jains community. We re-connected and later she reached out with an idea of doing a self care retreat together. I am looking forward to it, sharing our individual skills and experiences to offer great value to the attendees.
We are organising a 3 night / 4 day Self Care Retreat in the Autumn:
Invest in yourself at this self care retreat in a beautiful setting whilst connecting with like-minded people
The retreat offers yoga, breathwork, meditation, gratitude, journaling sessions as well as group life coaching workshops.
Share open discussions & conversations
Providing you with self care tools to be the best version of yourself to perform your various roles.
Get in touch to express interest for more details.
In relation to the TED Style talk, I have been booked for a private session for International Day of Happiness to share about Happiness. Do get in touch if you have any opportunities.
Happiness Boosters: A Shot of Positivity
In addition to the various workshops and talks for the corporate space, businesses, organisations and charities we are offering Happiness Boosters: A Shot of Positivity. BOOST Wellbeing, Productivity, Resilience & Positivity. A fun, interactive, small group, online / in person Happiness Booster that lifts the mood, energy & connection. Designed to support Mental, Emotional, Social Wellbeing & Positive Growth Mindsets. Scientific proven practices (e.g. Gratitude, Mindfulness, Kindness ).
Book this for you team, Department, Clients, Networking / Community / Charity Group
Team building, Wellbeing Days, Mental Health Days. Offsites, Ice Breaker, Orientations, Retreats, Conferences
For each referral you give that leads to a booking we will reward you with the option of: A Happiness Journal or 10% off Happy Life Habits Training courses/workshops or 45 min 1:2:1 coaching session.
Happiness Boosters: A Shot of Positivity. BOOST Wellbeing, Productivity, Resilience & Positivity.
Social Connection - International Day of Happiness
Many a time we have shared the importance of social connection and positive relationships for our happiness and wellbeing. Our Social Connection offering comes together for a meal, conversation and celebration. Last year we gathered in Autumn for Diwali/ Thanksgiving. Our next one is in March for International Day of Happiness.
Join the HLH Social Connection WhatsApp Group if interested.
HLH Book Club
In the 2 book club sessions we have had interesting conversations. Each of us is reading the Arete book at our own pace. We are coming together and sharing our insights, application and seeking perspectives and clarity. It is a great learning opportunity. Some recent information on Brain Health highlighted the benefits of continuous learning, social connection, nutrition and movement for good brain health and to reduce chances of Dementia,
One conversation has been on the Viktor Frank quote:
“BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RESPONSE THERE IS A SPACE.
IN THAT SPACE LIES OUR FREEDOM AND POWER TO CHOOSE OUR RESPONSE.
IN THOSE CHOICES LIES OUR GROWTH AND OUR FREEDOM (HAPPINESS)”
One has been what do we do to create that space to choose our response and another what does it mean by Freedom? Send your answers on a postcard or join the Book Club!
We have also looked at Energy from the Energy, Work and Love triplet. Choosing something we can commit to do, as a small change between one Book Club session and the next in order to put the theory into action. Various actions chosen such as : more walking, less sweets, no biscuits or fizzy drinks for 10 of the 14 days, going to bed earlier and drinking more water. We share our experiences at the next session and choose another small action to commit to for the next 2 weeks.
Happy Life Habits Book Club
Happy Life Habits 21 Day Challenge: Reverence
Before the pandemic and lockdowns started in 2020 I had hosted a 21 Day challenge. It helped me very much during this period that I continued to host a further 4 in subsequent months on themes of gratitude, kindness, simple living and mindfulness.
21 Day challenges are a great way to get new perspectives, shift mindset, develop discipline, consistency, learn, connect and grow.
I am hosting another free 21 Day Challenge on the theme of Reverence starting at the end of Feb and running till International Day of Happiness on March 20.
To join the challenge and receive the daily challenge emails click here :
https://www.kindspring.org/challenge/join/2239/
In addition this time we have a HLH Challenge WhatsApp Group where details of zoom catch ups during the challenge period will be shared.
Join the Happy Life Habits Challenge WhatsApp group for potential zoom sessions during the challenge.
Here is an example of one of the daily emails.
To join the challenge and receive the daily challenge emails click here :
30 Day Gratitude & Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course for Growing Around Grief
In recent months we have experienced grief with anniversary of the death of my father, death of my father in law and other death anniversaries and losses. Gratitude and Journaling helps big time.
We have adapted our core 30 Day Gratitude and Journaling Habit Immersion Training Course to offer support for Growing around Grief. The live zoom sessions will have activities and exercises related to growing around grief plus opportunity to share and support each other.
The Positive Grief Talk will be part of this offering.
Dates are being finalised, you can join waiting list.
Shaileen Shah - Happy Life Habits Coach, Speaker & Trainer
Happy Life Habits rewires hearts & minds for better productivity, happiness and wellbeing in 10 minutes a day. We help you move out of the comfort zone and into the learning/growth zones. Our products and services help develop habits and continuous personal development.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list and join the Happy Life Habits Community WhatsApp Group
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Happy Life Habits Positively Impacting Happiness & Wellbeing Levels
HELP HAPPY LIFE HABITS KEEP HAVING POSITIVE IMPACT
During the month we celebrate Thanksgiving, Happy Life Habits (HLH) is crowdfunding via the Mayor of London’s Pay it Forward crowdfunding platform. If we reach our funding target and other criteria we will get some extra funding towards the work we do of “Positively Impact Happiness & Well-being Levels” through free or low cost, high value services and products that have helped many, maybe even you.
https://payitforward.london.gov.uk/hlh-sharing-positivity-resilience
https://payitforward.london.gov.uk/hlh-sharing-positivity-resilience
Happy Life Habits is Crowd Funding
During the month of November, we celebrate Thanksgiving, Happy Life Habits (HLH) is crowdfunding via the Mayor of London’s Pay it Forward crowdfunding platform. If we reach our funding target and other criteria, we will get some extra funding towards the work we do of “Positively Impact Happiness & Well-being Levels” through free or low cost, high value services and products that have helped many, maybe even you.
The Mayor’s platform is called Pay It Forward.
Here is a brief reminder of some of the services and events shared in 2020:
2 Free workshops on Happier Relationships for SCVP - Feb
Free talks at community groups
Together in Isolation article to support during the pandemic.
3 Free Happiness Boosters on International Day of Happiness - Mar 20
Many Free Happiness Boosters through the lockdown
Videos to support during Mental Health Awareness Week -May
Free Daily Happiness Boosters during Mental Health Awareness Week -May
Free Live Workshops on Happiness / Gratitude : HelpVeerNow Extravanganza (May), Day 6 of Mental Health Awareness Week (May), October Workshop
Oshwal Mental Well being Seminar - Helped as part of team to develop and deliver
Launch of Low Cost, High Impact - HLH 30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course (June - 2 sets, July, Sep, Nov)
Talks/workshops to companies : Xerox, David Phillips, HB Accountants, Will Writers Society
Free Manage Your Mindset and Money workshop with LightSide Financial at Shishukunj Bethak (Sep) , HLH (Dec)
Launch of Happy Life Habits Book Club
Launch of Free Inspiration Point live sessions and Podcast - Series 1 , 6 Episodes
Regular article/post sharing on Social Media : Facebook Happy Life Habits Page , Facebook HLH Community group, LinkedIn, YouTube, Anchor Podcast, HLH website, EventBrite
Providing Happiness Journals/books
Coaching formal/informal
5 Free 21 Day Challenges to support mindset during lockdown on : Simple living, Reverence for Life, Kindness, Gratitude and Mindfulness
We are a business for good we have given a book or 365 days access to a book to those in need in India via Buy 1 Give 1 (B1G1) for each place booked on the Gratitude & Journal Course.
This is your opportunity to help SUPPORT HLH continue to SERVE WITH free and low cost high value services and products
There are various rewards you can apply for as an individual, group, company or corporate.
In the line from the film Jerry McGuire (adapted)
HELP ME TO
HELP YOU &
HELP OTHERS
Click here to go to the crowdfunding page
https://payitforward.london.gov.uk/hlh-sharing-positivity-resilience
With THANKs, gratitude and kind regards for your support
Shaileen Shah - The Happiness Coach
Happy Life Habits- Positively Impacting Happiness & Well Being Levels
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
WHAT’S MY PURPOSE? WHY AM I HERE?
(This article was commissioned for the Young Jains Magazine on the theme of Purpose Summer 2019)
These questions and other related ones are what many of us ponder and ask ourselves at various points in our life. Some find answers and begin living their purpose, others keep searching and some stop asking or never asked.
(This article was commissioned for the Young Jains Magazine on the theme of Purpose Summer 2019)
These questions and other related ones are what many of us ponder and ask ourselves at various points in our life. Some find answers and begin living their purpose, others keep searching and some stop asking or never asked.
There are many books, articles and workshops that are available to help answer “How do I find my purpose in life?”. Something can only be found if it is lost. I do not believe we find our purpose; I believe we uncover our purpose, our life's calling. It has always been there, just need to be uncovered. This is likened to the Michael Angelo quotes:
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free”
“Every block of stone has a statue inside and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it”
Our purpose is within us and our journey is to uncover it and live it.
When I was a teenager doing the examinations in GCSEs (O levels) and A levels I did not know what I wanted to do as I grew up. My older brother Raju was studying Computer Science/IT and suggested I do that as a degree. 4 years later with a degree, masters and having met my life partner Harshna, I was looking for a job in a recession hit economy. After months for applying for various jobs and not having any luck; Raju showed me an article in a computing magazine about a US consultancy firm that was setting up offices in Europe. I tracked down the phone number for the company (pre- Google); made contact and sent my C.V. I got a job as a trainee consultant and was one of the first 10 UK employees. I was sent to the US on an assignment for a few weeks (become a few months). During this time; the early 90s; I was introduced to the now classic book Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. During the same time I attended my first of many personal development seminars. I flew back from the US for 4 nights to attend Tony Robbins (No1 Success Coach) Unleash The Power Weekend (UPW) which involved walking on hot coals on the first night of the seminar! Also around the same time I was attending YJ events and becoming more active. These experiences and learnings from them were conducive to uncovering my purpose. I was keen to put into practice and share what I had learnt. This led to me joining the YJ committee and being on convention committees.
The 7 Habits book has had a phenomenal impact, in particular habit 2 “Begin with the End in Mind”. This has an exercise to write a personal mission statement. This I did and has been guiding most of the decisions and activities I have been involved with since the mid 90s.
I have not often publicly shared my personal mission statement; however here it is to help inspire others to think about theirs:
“I continuously contribute, learn, grow and make a positive difference to all in my environment adding tremendous value.
I am a caring, loving, supportive family member and friend.
I act with integrity, truthfulness and do the right thing.
I use my time effectively, am a creator of wealth, value and abundance. I achieve balance”
This has been my North Star, my compass and resulted in my active involvement in Young Jains, Shree Chandana Vidhya Peeth (SCVP), Museum of Happiness, Service Space, Oshwal and Shishukunj.
This mission and my values have been challenged even sometimes compromised. I worked in Finance Technology in Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS the bank) during the RBS takeover of NatWest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis during which RBS had to be bailed out. Upon leaving RBS through redundancy in 2016 I took time out to consider the next chapter in my life. During this time through various experiences, conversations, reading and pondering that added to existing ones; pondering on what is important to me; reflecting on my mission statement; has led to an uncovering of my current purpose in life: Being a Happiness Coach and through my business Happy Life Habits : Positively Impacting Happiness and Well Being Levels.
A concept that has become popular is Ichigai a Japense term.
“Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means “a reason for being.” The word “ikigai” is usually used to indicate the source of value in one’s life or the things that make one’s life worthwhile. The word translated to English roughly means “thing that you live for” or “the reason for which you wake up in the morning.” Wikipedia
”
Japanese concept of Ikigai
Purpose and Meaning are components of The Science of Happiness for a happy life.
I share the definition of happiness from researcher and author of “The How of Happiness”, Sonja Lyubomirsky:
“The experience of joy, contentment, or positive wellbeing, combined with a sense of one’s life is good, meaningful and worthwhile”
In a succinct way I guess my purpose and perhaps the purpose for everyone is :
“To be happy and help others be happy”
That’s why I am here. How about you?
About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
START YOUR YEAR END REVIEW NOW
Many people in December do a end of year review to reflect on the past 12 months. They go through their calendar, diary, journal and memories to reflect and capture aspects from the year. There is a great free tool called the year compass that can help with this process available from yearcompass.com/gb. The process can be insightful, heartwarming, provide learning and growth. Instead of waiting till the end of the year to do it why not do one at the end of each month, This has the advantage of making the end of year process quicker and smoother, less chance of missing things and the benefit of getting a good feeling as you savour and reflect at the end of the month and the opportunity to savour each following month.
One way to do it is to copy some of the items from the yearcompass into a word document or google sheet and title with the chosen month then add to it each month end.
Things to consider for inclusion are:
What did I achieve this month?
What were insights I gained?
What did I learn?
What am I grateful for?
What was challenging and how did I deal with it?
Who helped me?
Who did I help?
What could I have done better?
What am I looking forward to this coming month?
The YearCompass breaks it down into a few categories which include:
Personal Life & Family
Belongings
Friends, community
Intellectual
Finances
Work, Studies, Profession
Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity
Heath, Fitness
Emotional, Spiritual
Bucket List
This is an expansion of the 4 human dimensions of : Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional and Spiritual.
YearCompass gives opportunity to consider the time period in six sentences such as :”The wisest decision I made…”. and six questions such as “What is the best thing you have discovered about yourself?”.
There is much more to the review doc than shared here, however, hopefully this gives you a feel.
Enjoy reviewing and reflecting
HAPPY HABITS FOR HAPPY LIFE
Habits run our life.
They can serve us or dis-empower us. They can be 40% of our behaviour in any given day. We can have bad habits or good habits. Cultivate good, positive habits that serve and empower you.
By definition a habit is “An action or decision repeated and repeated till automatic”. It is moving from the conscious mind to the subconscious.
Habits run our life.
They can serve us or dis-empower us. They can be 40% of our behaviour in any given day. We can have bad habits or good habits. Cultivate good, positive habits that serve and empower you.
By definition a habit is “An action or decision repeated and repeated till automatic”. It is moving from the conscious mind to the subconscious.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit”
One of my favourite books and one that has had a big influence on me is Stephen Covey’s fantastic book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. He defines “A habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to, why to), skills (how to) and desire (want to)”. All three must exist - the knowledge of what to do and why to do it, the skills on how to do it and the desire to want to do it.
SEVEN HABITS
He highlights 7 Habits for Lessons in Personal Change. These Habits are:
Be Proactive - The Habit of Choice
Begin with the End in Mind - The Habit of Vision
Think First Things First - The Habit of Integrity and Execution
Think Win-Win - The Habit of Mutual Benefit
Seek First to Understand and then to be Understood - The Habit of Mutual Understanding
Synergize - The Habit of Creative Cooperation
Sharpen the Saw - The Habit of Renewal
THE ANATOMY OF A HABIT
A habit has 3 key components :
A cue or trigger / reminder
An action of routine
A reward
This is the habit loop - a cue occurs that leads to an action and then a reward and then this is repeated and repeated.
For example, with the smoking habit
Cue - Feeling of stress and work colleagues going outside for a break
Action - Take cigarette, light and smoke it, chat with work colleagues have a break
Reward - Feeling less stressed, social connection, be outside
Another example, taking a mindful moment
Cue - Feeling of stress or overwhelm
Action - Take a moment outside to go for a mindful walk, focusing on your breath or each step
Reward - feeling less stressed, be outside
Action: Identify the Cue, Action and Reward in one of your dis-empowering and one empowering habit
KEYSTONE HABITS
One type of habit is the Keystone Habit. A Keystone Habit is one that leads to the development of multiple good habits. They start a chain effect of positive results. According to Charles Duhigg, “The Power of Habit” , keystone habits have the power to transform your life. An example is regular exercise also fosters better eating habits. Or sleeping 8 hours a night fosters better energy and productivity.
The name Keystone comes from the building of an arch. The last stone, a wedge shaped one to be put in place at the apex is the keystone (or capstone) which locks all the others in place, providing structure and allowing the other stones to bear the weight.
“Goals set a target/direction, like a Sat Nav. Habits help us progress towards the goal. It is the process /action/decision”
ATOMIC STEPS
Think small, easy, tiny, atomic actions/ habits. This is related to the idea of marginal gains, small changes done each day that over time compound (See books The Slight Edge and The Compound Effect). The British Cycling team used this idea to make small changes in all areas that led to great success. E.g teaching cyclists how to thoroughly wash hands to avoid infection, change in bike material to be marginally lighter, taking cyclists bed mattresses and pillows to hotels so they feel at home and rested.
Some more examples of atomic steps
for exercise to get to 20 push ups a day, choose and commit to 1 push up each day.
For dental hygiene choose and commit to 1 tooth flossed each day.
For reading choose and commit to read 1 page each day.
These should be easy to do, take little time and are foundations to add to and build from as progress and momentum is made.
SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS
Layout your tools, supplies, equipment.
For running have running shoes and gym bag by bed or door.
For reading have book by bedside or in daily bag.
For a dis-empowering habit such as smoking cigarettes do the opposite - make the action difficult to do e,g put cigarette pack in a locked box, outside of house in far corner of garden and give key to friend who lives 30 minutes away.
“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going”
As we repeatedly do something the neurons in the brain fire and wire so with repetition new wiring / pathways are created which become stronger and replace the previous created ones.
“Repetition is the mother of skill”
SETTING YOUR OWN HABITS
We can have goals and habits in all aspects of our life including: Relationships, Work/Career, Family, Health, Spiritual & Financial.
Here are some guidelines to help build successful, positive, empowering habits.
Identify a cue or cues e.g. Set a time and location, use phone reminder, post it note
Think small, easy, tiny, atomic actions/ habits.
Set yourself up for success - create environment, layout supplies
Have a partner or community who are also working on same things
Pick yourself up if you fall, get back on track
Celebrate the successes
It takes 21 days to create a habit, 90 days to create a lifestyle.
Jerry Seinfeld the comic has reportedly used a yearly wall planner to develop his habit of writing a joke each day of the year. Each day he writes a joke and then marks a cross on his planner. This visual cue and action becomes the habit where he does not want to break the chain. For effective habit formation - monitoring and measured are needed. As the saying goes “What gets measured gets done”.
Consider your existing habits and ones you want to develop …
What is the cue?
What already existing Habit/Cue can I link this with?
What is the action?
What is the reward?
What are the obstacles I may face?
How will I overcome the obstacles?
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
My keystone habit is the daily practice of gratitude, actively and consistently since the start of 2017. This has supported additional habits of:
daily journaling using a happiness journal,
regular reading and study,
Mindfulness & meditation (Monthly Awakin circles - Awakin.org)
exercise - playing badminton twice a week, walking, swimming and sauna,
regular prayer and service.
I have developed habits in the areas of Physical, Mental, Social/Emotional and Spiritual, these help me lead a happy, effective, productive and meaningful life. I wish you the same.
“Sow a thought, reap an action,
Sow an action, reap a habit,
Sow a habit, reap a character,
Sow a character, reap a destiny”
Shaileen, with Vicky Johnson and Shamash Alidina, the founders of the Museum of Happiness are sharing a Habits of Happiness workshop at the Winter Happiness Festival.
Content Sources for article
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey
The Slight Edge - Jeff Olson
The Power of Habit - Charles Duhigg
Atomic Habits - James Clear
The Compound Effect - Darren Hardy
How to develop better habits in 2019 - Ryan Holiday