ARTICLES & BLOG
Self Care for Blue Monday
The 3rd Monday in January is known as Blue Monday when many people feel at their lowest, depressed and unhappy.
This is supposedly due to some factors occurring at a similar time which include Christmas being a fading memory, payday still a week away, January bills coming through, rest of the year still to go through, high hoped resolutions broken, cold, gloomy weather, pandemics, working in office/ from home, world crisis’ and such factors.
Monday Blues on Blue Monday
The 3rd Monday in January is known as Blue Monday when many people feel at their lowest, depressed and unhappy.
This is supposedly due to some factors occurring at a similar time which include Christmas being a fading memory, payday still a week away, January bills coming through, rest of the year still to go through, high hoped resolutions broken, cold, gloomy weather, pandemics, working in office/ from home, world crisis’ and such factors.
Ways to combat Blue Monday…
Seeing the beauty of nature ( I saw a gaggle of geese fly in V formation overhead)
Write down 3 things that your are grateful for
Take a moment to enjoy mindfulness and focus on your breathing, do a short body scan, a mindful walk or mindful eating
Read and share an inspiring quote e.g “Every day may not be a good day, but there is good in every day”
Tell a joke
Laugh out loud for no reason
Call a friend, have chat
Get together for a coffee or meal with a friend or family member
Happy Life Habits has created this useful Self Care infographic to help remind of self care practises for Blue Monday, working from home or working in the office and remind them that you are there for them.
You can share this with :
Employees
Clients
Customers
Suppliers
Prospective clients
Family and friends
By distributing via
Email
Website
WhatsApp/Messenger/Facebook
Intranet
Newsletter
Printing and putting on desks or office walls
To order an infographic with your logo and website : email us. Many thanks to the various companies/individuals who have ordered an infographic supporting the work we do.
The Self Care Infographic is based on material from this article Together in Isolation.
Click image to download a printable version
Future events being planned - opportunity to be involved
Last year we hosted a International Day of Happiness event in March using the Wonder platform and having multiple workshops happening at the same time. This year we are planning something similar for International Day of Happiness in March and for Mental Health Awareness in May.
If you would like to have a “stall” and host a workshop or talk or two then get in touch. It could be linked the self care infographic such as laughter workshop, Stress/Anxiety talk, yoga, meditation, confidence, self esteem, tapping, visioning, mindfulness, breathwork, tai chi, qui gong, art, poetry or such like. Ideally it needs to be positive, add value, sharing knowledge and practice.
All current events are in the events page
Company and Corporate Opportunities
We have a range of offerings for small, medium, large companies and corporates including talks, workshops, training and infographics that help with productivity, resilience, resourcefulness, positivity and mental wellbeing.
Get in touch if you think it would be of interest to your workplace for teams, network groups, well being programmes etc.
Feel Good Friday (Financial Wellbeing and consistent good money habits are good for our happiness)
I've learnt from studying the science of happiness that acts of kindness are good for us. We should do them regularly (even daily). One study additionally found that now and them by stacking acts of kindness together in a time slot such as a few hours or a particular day give a more longer lasting feel good factor then one a day.
Today I had the pleasure of stacking some acts of kindness together and getting this boost when I delivered books I had to local primary schools.
Recently my friend Will Rainey author of Grandpa's Fortune Fables ran a competition in which I won 5 copies of his book. 1 for me and 4 to give to a local primary school. I asked If instead I could give split the copies to give to 4 primary schools and Will happily obliged.
The 4 chosen schools are:
Dollis Primary School - My Primary
Whitchurch First School - where a friend works and where I did my first happiness / gratitude workshop for schools
Krishna Avanti Primary School, Harrow ( part of Avanti Schools Trust) - the first state-funded Hindu faith school in the United Kingdom (my son is at the secondary)
Millbrook Park School- a Church of England school where my nephew attends.
Here is a short note for the schools which Will wrote.
______________________________________________
Letter from the author of Grandpa’s Fortune Fables:
I wrote Grandpa's Fortune Fables to help children learn about money in a way which is fun and memorable. I strongly believe that children who learn about money grow up more confident, have higher self-esteem and less money worries as adults.
Learning about money shouldn't be boring and hence why I put the important lessons into fables. I still remember learning from Aesop's fables as they were read during the headmaster's assembly when I was at school many years ago.
Grandpa's Fortune Fables covers different money topics so that children learn to earn, save and grow their money whilst avoiding debt, scams and gambling. Empowering every child, regardless of their background, to take control of their financial future.
To help teachers (and parents), there is a discussion point, at the end of each chapter, to start a conversation with children about what they have just heard or read.
I hope you believe this book will be a great resource to the school.
If you would like to order more copies of the book, I am more than happy to arrange a discount for your school. Please contact me at will@bluetreesavings.com.
Enjoy!
Will
30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training course
The January course has started well and we have incorporated some new improvements to the course including new content for the habits section of the Journal Workshop.
Waiting list is open for future training. Upon request we can do dedicated training for small teams, groups, family and friends.
One of the benefits shared from the course
The Gratitude Journaling for Happiness workshops with Mind in Enfield and Barnet are free and scheduled for February and March. See events page for details.
Last chance to join the MMG 2022
We have a bonus kick off meeting on Wednesday 19th January, last chance to join the MMG
Take a moment to reflect on the last year. Also look forward to where you want to be, what you want to have experienced and learnt by this time next year. Take control and supercharge your development in 2022 so when you look back you have grown and developed from where you are now. MasterMind Group is open for registration, you can register here
Here are some free opportunities shared to the MMG members that may interest you for your learning, development and growth, I will incorporate learning from them in HLH activities and the What I Learnt Today page :
What I learned today… #WhatILearnedToday
Learning, education and growth is important to me, helps us be happy, reduces chances of various ailments in older age As the year goes by I am collating some of my learnings and sharing here. Updates will be on an adhoc basis maybe weekly, maybe monthly, maybe longer. Some are posted on Social Media and they are collated here.
Looking Back, Looking Forward workshop attendees, now is a good time to review what you captured in the workbook and to do so on a regularly basis.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Inspiration Booked & Opportunities
This blog post article looks at:
Recent Inspiration
Work Life Harmony
Some Opportunities
New Ideas
This blog post article looks at:
Recent Inspiration
Work Life Harmony
Some Opportunities
New Ideas
Recent Inspiration
Reminiscing, this time last year about a family road trip of lifetime visiting the Canyons. Amazing experiences and views of natures beauty. In Bryce Canyon we did a morning sunrise trek to Inspiration Point.
I reflected on my current week and observed the following regarding books and webinars as inspiration points.
The first was learning about the amazing teachings of the book the Hindu text the Bhagavad Gita in our Jain School. Our true nature is separate from the body we identify with. Later, organised by JITO and JVB organisations where Shiv Khera shared on "Turning Setbacks into Turnbacks". I read his book, "You Can Win", a while back. In the talk he shared
"Success is a series of positive choices"
and reminded that
"Direction is more important than speed".
I Took part being interviewed in my first podcast, This was with Camden Boyd, The Happiness Question Podcast. I enjoyed the podcast and the questions asked about Happy Life Habits.
I attended Action for Happiness webinar with Mo Gawdat interviewed by Mark Williamson sharing on the topic "Silver Linings". It was another fantastic session. The books related were "10 Keys to Happier Living" an "Solve for Happy" (to be read).
What has inspired you recently?
Work Life Harmony
Recently I was invited again for the 3rd year to Xerox to share a session with their Group Accounting team. Previously I had been invited to share on Happiness at Work ideas and implementation at the Annual Accounting Conference for Chief Group Accountants of various countries.
This time with many working from home and the challenges due to the virus situation I was asked to share ideas and practical tips on Work Life Balance or Work Life Harmony/Integration as I like to consider it.
The Group Accountants for various countries were asked
“Apart from work what are the things that are important to you, you enjoy doing, make you happy?” List at least 8.
They gave answers which included: Time with family or friends, reading, exercise, meditation and cooking.
For you “Apart from work what are the things that are important to you, you enjoy doing, make you happy?”
Some Opportunities
Following the success of June and July Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course; registration is open for the September Course.
Happy Life Habits has a Resilience & Positivity Training Course for employees facing uncertainty, furlough, redundancy or need of a positive change. Please do share the resources from Lightside Financial and Happy Life Habits on Money & Mindset with HR teams and leaders in your place of work or network. Also have a Free Happiness Booster available for companies, networking or community groups.
New Ideas
I’ve been sharing some posts recently on LinkedIn, you can connect if you want to see them.
Happy Life Habits is going to launch a series of inspiring talks inviting individuals /speakers to come and share on a few questions about their journey, challenges faced and how overcome, daily habits, lessons and advice from parents etc. If you would like to take part or have suggestions please get in touch.
I am taking part in a 14 day The Happiness Challenge by Mo Gawdat - Ex Google and author of Solve for Happy. This starts on 10 August and looks interesting. Come join me, get in touch if you are taking part and want to share the experience together.
There is a talk by Nick Williams on Discovering the Work You Were Born to Do NOW: Find and Follow Your Calling. This is on Tuesday 11th Aug 5 pm UK time.
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Group
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
MOANS & ZONES: BOREDER Vs BORDER
This and the few related articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
This one is about fixed and growth mindsets, comfort zones, support and challenge.
This and the few related articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
MINDSETS : FIXED VS GROWTH
“My momma always said, ‘
Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you’re gonna get’.” - Forrest Gump
“My momma always said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get’” Forrest Gump
Relating to the comfort zone concept, Carol Dweck, a researcher in the field of motivation and author of the book mindsets shares ideas about a Fixed Mindset and a Growth Mindset. A person with fixed mindset is set in their ways and feels can’t change while a person with a growth mindset believes in possibility and progress. They believe in the 7th Habit of Sharpen the Saw, Self Renewal.
In a fixed mindset students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that's that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb. In a growth mindset students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching and persistence. They don't necessarily think everyone's the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it.
— Carol Dweck, Stanford University
This is shared in the TED Talk The Power of Believing that you can Improve where the idea of the grade NOT YET is explained and understood that we are on a learning curve. The process and the effort is praised and encouraged rather than the end result, this helps move out of the comfort zone and create new neural connections.
I recently watched Forrest Gump after a long break of last watching it (having watched it a gazzilion times in the past). The movie has so many wonderful messages and stories. What leapt out on this recent viewing was that Forrest had a Growth Mindset which had been nurtured by his mum early in his life and helped him deal with a variety of adversities and challenges.
It let him become the best in many of the endeavours he undertook be that college football, Vietnam army soldier, ping pong champion, Bubba Gump shrimping or running long distances to name but a few. I really recommend that you watch the film again very soon. Again as writing this piece I discovered that Forrest Gump and Growth Mindset has been explored in this article The Lessons of Growth Mindset and The Forrest Gump Movie.
ZONES : COMFORT, FEAR, LEARNING, GROWTH
Relax, sit back, sit comfortably as we look at comfort zones. This concept has served me well and helped make sense of many experiences as well as take opportunities. The comfort zone is where we have control, certainty and feel safe. Where know and control what happens in this zone it where where we are content, happy and can be bored. Just outside the comfort zone are things that make use anxious, feel fear, uncertainty and be uncomfortable. We often don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and feel those things. However sometimes a situation occurs which either forces us or makes us choose to step out into the unknown.. This may be a pandemic, job loss, death, illness, opportunity of a new role, parenthood, new hobby, new friends/partners, winning the lottery, roller coaster ride, bungee jump - you get the idea. Often we will initially feel fear, nervous, anxious due to the unknown, uncertainty due to our safety mechanisms . Sometimes we may initially feel or switch to excitement, adventure, enthusiasm. What I have been told is that feeling nervous or excited occur in the same parts of the brain and release the same chemicals into our body, it is in one sense the same feeling but our representation, thoughts or meaning we give it makes it be nervousness or excitement. So on occasion when we feel nervous we could re-frame it as excitement and be at a better energy level and resourceful state. I sometimes do this before a workshop or talk when I am feeling initially nervous.
When we step out of comfort zone by a little bit, work through the fear to learn and grow we expand out comfort zone. We keep doing this and slowly but surely we keep expanding and growing. If we are caused to or choose to step out too far from our comfort zone then we risk feelings of overwhelm, not able to cope, stress and we can snap. Too much is being asked of our capabilities. To be able to deal with things way outside our comfort zone we need to develop our mindset, skill set and tool set as well as support systems. Without one or more of these we may be too stretched - a step or more too far can then cause hurt and harm (self esteem, confidence, belief, mental health etc).
OUR GROWTH IS AT THE BORDER OF SUPPORT AND CHALLENGE
To much support and not enough challenge we get lazy, bored , let others do it, do not learn, we don’t grow. Too much challenge and not enough support we break, snap, meltdown. The combination of both support and challenge has to be just right to lead to growth. This is an important consideration for parents, carers, teachers, managers and trainers. The caterpillar to butterfly story shares an example of too much support.
There is the story of a young boy who saw a caterpillar spin a cocoon. He watched it for weeks and one day noticed a small opening in the cocoon shell. He could the caterpillar working its way to get out, it was struggling. In his innocence to be helpful and not knowing any different he decided to help the caterpillar by breaking the cocoon open for it. The caterpillar emerged as a deformed butterfly with a fat body, deformed wings and not to its true potential or being. Not able to fully fly or live as the butterfly it should be it soon after died. The boy did not know that for the caterpillar to become a fully fledged and functioning butterfly it had to face the challenge itself to break open the cocoon thereby pushing the liquid its body throughout its legs and also into its wings to form the wings. It had to go through the transformation.
Like and elastic band we need to be flexible and stretch to the correct amount to be effective and useful. To little stretch the elastic band can’t do its function, too much stretch and it snaps and breaks.
Fear, Learning and Growth Zones is shared in the next article.
I’ve been observing and applying some of these ideas as I prepare to share a session by FaceBook Live - a new experience for me.
And that’s all I have to say about that!
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can work a win-win result.
(4) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Group
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
![[SH]IT HAPPENS!](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bf7c05589c1727b3aaa05e1/1587829020997-62MPZXRFEYQ0ZXHWE5LJ/Stimulus+and+response.jpg)
[SH]IT HAPPENS!
This article (is on stimulus/response and needs) and a few articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
This article (is on stimulus/response and needs) and a few articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
STIMULUS AND RESPONSE
In living our life things happen, sometimes good, sometimes bad, that is based on our perception. The bottom line is IT HAPPENS.
Stephen Covey shares how one of the most profound and truly life changing experiences of his life - one conceptually fundamental to his work on the 7 Habits was when in a meditative and reflective state he read the following three sentences in a book.
BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RESPONSE THERE IS A SPACE.
IN THAT SPACE LIES OUR FREEDOM AND POWER TO CHOOSE OUR RESPONSE.
IN THOSE CHOICES LIES OUR GROWTH AND OUR HAPPINESS.
STIMULUS AND RESPONSE - OUR FREEDOM TO CHOOSE
When we have a stimulus be that a situation, challenge, confrontation, opportunity, conversation or an interaction we often respond or more accurately sometimes react with a reflex action. That may be harsh words, anger, compassion, love, violence in our thoughts, words and actions. We often react as opposed to choosing a response. With practice, reflection, awareness and effort we can choose our response. We can learn and grow to habitualise a more empowering response.
For many of us the current stimulus is the pandemic, Covid-19, the lock down. What is our response? How do we choose respond or did we react?
NEEDS
THE 6 HUMAN NEEDS
In the TED Talk by Tony Robbins, Peak Performance Coach, on Why we do what we do he shares the 6 humans needs. 4 are related to Personality and 2 to Spirit. These needs drive our behaviour. We can have these 6 needs but one is likely to be more dominant. The 6 Human needs are depicted in the image below.
The 6 Human Needs
Tony shares about the difference between lack of resources and being resourceful. He shares 3 questions to ask ourselves to be more resourceful:
What are you going to focus on?
What does it mean?
What are you going to do?
“DECISIONS SHAPE OUR DESTINY”
MASLOWS HIERACHY OF NEEDS : DEFICIENCY AND GROWTH
Many of the 6 Human Needs shared by Tony correlate with Abraham Maslow’s Heirachy of Needs.
In the journal Scientific American, an article by Scott Barry Kaufman titled: Beautiful Minds: Choose Growth shares how the needs can be grouped into 2 main classes which must be integrated for wholeness:
Deficiency/Defense Needs - often related to fears, anxieties
Growth Needs - more related to acceptance and love
by Steve Webber https://www.interiorsandsources.com/article-details/articleid/22727/title/maslow-hierarchy-design-architecture-impacts
““One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again””
4 DIMENSIONS OF A HUMAN
These again map onto the 4 Dimensions of a Human I have referred to in previous articles:
Physical,
Mental,
Social/Emotional and
Spiritual
Covey shares that these map onto the needs to : to Live, to Love, to Learn and to leave a Legacy.
Robin Sharma refers to these as the 4 Interior Empires : MindSet, HeartSet, HealthSet and SoulSet.
We look after these needs, develop ourselves in the different needs then we live a meaningful, fulfilling, happy life. If one or more is missing or not looked after we have disconnect, discontentment and feel unfulfilled and out of balance.
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Group
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.