ARTICLES & BLOG
Sometimes it’s just Mission Impossible
Sometimes it feels like Mission Impossible with the projects and activities we have ongoing with Happy Life Habits at the moment (most are this month!) however the Life in 3 Acts sums up Happy Life Habits’ approach. This is what we have been up to or have on the near horizon.
The Self Care Infographic has been well received and shared. It has help my business clients connect with their clients including past clients.
Kids Happiness Boosters for Half Term (completely new)
Gratitude Journaling for Happiness Workshop with Mind In Enfield and Barnet
30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course
Happier Relationships with Happy Life Habits
HLH International Day of Happiness Global Virtual Festival
Master Mind Group focus on Learning
Initial discussions regarding HLH taking part in podcasts or speaking at community groups and companies
ONE FOR THE KIDS, ONE FOR THE ADULTS (FREE) AND ONE FOR EVERYONE (FREE)
Happy Life Habits have got
(1) Half term Happiness Booster sessions arranged for kids
(2) Happier Relationships workshop for adults - Free tickets available now (limited number)
(3) Global Virtual Happiness Festival - for all - pre-launch early bird free tickets available now (limited numbers).
We have session suggestions from authors, coaches, trainers, speakers, comedians, chocolatiers etc that are being reviewed such as:
Nothing Links Like Laughter
Healthy Lifestyle = Happy You
Chocolate for a happier life
Mindfulness / Meditation for younger children
Center of Happiness
Like a Comedian
What's self care to you?
How to be kind to yourself when the world hasn’t been kind to you
If you would like to share/present/run session or have stall at the Festival there are currently opportunities to get involved
Sometimes it feels like Mission Impossible with the projects and activities we have ongoing with Happy Life Habits at the moment (most are this month!) however the Life in 3 Acts sums up Happy Life Habits’ approach. This is what we have been up to or have on the near horizon.
The Self Care Infographic has been well received and shared. It has help my business clients connect with their clients including past clients.
Kids Happiness Boosters for Half Term (completely new)
Gratitude Journaling for Happiness Workshop with Mind In Enfield and Barnet
30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course
Happier Relationships with Happy Life Habits
HLH International Day of Happiness Global Virtual Festival
Master Mind Group focus on Learning
Initial discussions regarding HLH taking part in podcasts or speaking at community groups and companies
All of these involve a fair bit such as:
What we are doing and Why
Research
Posters /Graphics for the event
Setting up/sharing HLH Activities on Eventbrite, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, HLH Website, WhatsApp, Blog, Emails
Booking forms
Conversations with various parties and collaborators
Learning various platforms
I’m loving it, learning, growing, connecting, collaborating and impacting.
Sometimes it’s going to have to be Mission Impossible
Image from https://www.imdb.com/
I was only going to watch 10 minutes of the film Mission Impossible, again, having watched it many times before during the last 25+ years, it still entertains.
An hour and half later the film ended and I felt good. I felt good because the film has fast moving action, gadgets, plot twists, cool music score all keeping the brain engaged as the good guy wins.
Tom Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt shows resilience, confidence, resourcefulness, creativity and attention to detail to name but a few.
It has some iconic memorable scenes like Tom Cruise’s character catching the bead of sweat from falling onto the floor which has sensors to trigger alarm if pressure changes, the accessing of the CIA computer while dangling from the ceiling and the helicopter tied to the Eurostar train as it goes into a tunnel.
Which film(s) do you watch for 10 minutes again then end up enjoying the whole film again and what do you like about the film?
Kids Happiness Boosters for Half Term (completely new)
I really believe if we can introduce positive habits to children early on then they can develop and use coping tools for the rest of their life.
To find out more or book click here
Gratitude
We continue sharing and making a difference with the Gratitude Journaling for Happiness Workshop with Mind In Enfield and Barnet.
The January 30 Day Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training course has just ended. Lovely sharing and feedback during the month and on the celebration call as trainees shared their experience and transforming shifts. Each iteration of the course has unique elements and new ideas introduced.
Our guest speakers those who had done the course previously shared the impact of the course on them. Terence shared how it helps him cope with depression with medication and the positive impact it has given him. The course brings so many positive elements.
Next course dates are 1st May.
Here is a guest speaker testimonial. Next blog will have another one.
Priti Shah - Debt Solution Specialist : Regional Director at Lightside Financial
Build Resilience and Mental Strength for the future
Resources that will help now, every single day and for the future for the rest of life
Benefiting from: Positive intentions
Setting the day up well
Think in detailed/ granular way
Feel happier from the morning
Discipline and Habit to do every day
Happier Relationships
Good healthy relationships are shown to lead to long, happy, healthy lives. February being the month of Valentines we have an event on Happier Relationships
It is for singles, couples, friend, groups, You!
It will be a mix of sharing some information, interactive discussions and fun games on the exciting Wonder platform. Come alone or bring a friend or few.
Master Mind Group (MMG)
The MMG had a bonus kick off meeting in January where we shared the focus for February meeting to be on Learning. Using our chosen platform at self pace we are learning how to learn effectively When we meet in the month each member will share key ideas from a book they have chosen on the platform as well as how they are applying the ideas. Examples of the books are: Limitless, Make it Stick, How to be a straight A student, Mindset, Flow, Deep Work etc.
I’m very much enjoying the learning process and look forward to enhancing my knowledge with the group sharing.
Happy Life Habits International Day of Happiness Global Virtual Festival 19th March
Imagine a Happiness Festival a bit like the Ideal Home exhibition with different themed zones, show stages with scheduled events and individual stalls. Multiple sessions running at the same time. Various Zones such as Laughter, Relaxation, Movement, Creativeness, Science of Happiness
The pre-launch free tickets are available for booking now.
For the last few years Happy Life Habits (HLH) has hosted and served during the UN’s International Day of Happiness (IDOH): 20th March and Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) :May.
In 2022 we are continuing this with an International Day of Happiness Virtual Festival on Sat 19th March 2022 (1 day before IDOH)
ARE YOU INTERESTED TO BE A BIGGER PART OF IT?
THE OPTIONS ARE:
Share a session for 15mins - 60mins
Share a session and also have a stall
Be a sponsor
For further info on any of these.
We have session suggestions from authors, coaches, trainers, speakers, comedians, chocolatiers etc that are being reviewed such as:
Nothing Links Like Laughter
Interactive chat about what makes us laugh. The what, why, and how to make it happen. Appreciating how it positively affects every aspect of communication, whether spoken or written, whether for pleasure or business.
Healthy Lifestyle = Happy You
We often think that when we'll be successful, fit and settled, we'll be happy. In this session we'll discuss the steps everyone can take to become more confident, energised and healthy and just be the best and happiest version of yourself. You'll get clear and easy actions that you can implement straight away and will give you a sense of achievement to help you take back control of what you think, eat and do so as to releasing the real you!
Chocolate for a happier life
An introduction to chocolate appreciation
From an OBE awarded chocolatier with over 30 years experience
Mindfulness / Meditation for younger children
Mindfulness activities and book reading
Center of Happiness
You can spend your whole life searching for happiness. Once you discover the center of happiness, your search ends and you truly start living a happy life. Learn what is that center and how can you connect with it.
Like a Comedian
There is a lot we can all learn from the approach we comedians take to our work. I'm not just talking about laughter, although that is invaluable. Our approach to creativity, our willingness to try out imperfect material in public, our connection with our audience. I will give people some tools to help free them from some of the stresses they encounter, especially in their working lives, based on the comedian's craft.
What's self care to you?
Self Care session - to provide an overview of what self care can be for you. An opportunity to consider the eight components of self care
How to be kind to yourself when the world hasn’t been kind to you
People will take away simple tools to help themselves when they feel negative emotions. These are simple and powerful and gives an immediate release whilst building our ability to accept our emotions.
These are some, others include book readings for children, financial wellbeing for kids, breathwork etc.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Self Care for Blue Monday
The 3rd Monday in January is known as Blue Monday when many people feel at their lowest, depressed and unhappy.
This is supposedly due to some factors occurring at a similar time which include Christmas being a fading memory, payday still a week away, January bills coming through, rest of the year still to go through, high hoped resolutions broken, cold, gloomy weather, pandemics, working in office/ from home, world crisis’ and such factors.
Monday Blues on Blue Monday
The 3rd Monday in January is known as Blue Monday when many people feel at their lowest, depressed and unhappy.
This is supposedly due to some factors occurring at a similar time which include Christmas being a fading memory, payday still a week away, January bills coming through, rest of the year still to go through, high hoped resolutions broken, cold, gloomy weather, pandemics, working in office/ from home, world crisis’ and such factors.
Ways to combat Blue Monday…
Seeing the beauty of nature ( I saw a gaggle of geese fly in V formation overhead)
Write down 3 things that your are grateful for
Take a moment to enjoy mindfulness and focus on your breathing, do a short body scan, a mindful walk or mindful eating
Read and share an inspiring quote e.g “Every day may not be a good day, but there is good in every day”
Tell a joke
Laugh out loud for no reason
Call a friend, have chat
Get together for a coffee or meal with a friend or family member
Happy Life Habits has created this useful Self Care infographic to help remind of self care practises for Blue Monday, working from home or working in the office and remind them that you are there for them.
You can share this with :
Employees
Clients
Customers
Suppliers
Prospective clients
Family and friends
By distributing via
Email
Website
WhatsApp/Messenger/Facebook
Intranet
Newsletter
Printing and putting on desks or office walls
To order an infographic with your logo and website : email us. Many thanks to the various companies/individuals who have ordered an infographic supporting the work we do.
The Self Care Infographic is based on material from this article Together in Isolation.
Click image to download a printable version
Future events being planned - opportunity to be involved
Last year we hosted a International Day of Happiness event in March using the Wonder platform and having multiple workshops happening at the same time. This year we are planning something similar for International Day of Happiness in March and for Mental Health Awareness in May.
If you would like to have a “stall” and host a workshop or talk or two then get in touch. It could be linked the self care infographic such as laughter workshop, Stress/Anxiety talk, yoga, meditation, confidence, self esteem, tapping, visioning, mindfulness, breathwork, tai chi, qui gong, art, poetry or such like. Ideally it needs to be positive, add value, sharing knowledge and practice.
All current events are in the events page
Company and Corporate Opportunities
We have a range of offerings for small, medium, large companies and corporates including talks, workshops, training and infographics that help with productivity, resilience, resourcefulness, positivity and mental wellbeing.
Get in touch if you think it would be of interest to your workplace for teams, network groups, well being programmes etc.
Feel Good Friday (Financial Wellbeing and consistent good money habits are good for our happiness)
I've learnt from studying the science of happiness that acts of kindness are good for us. We should do them regularly (even daily). One study additionally found that now and them by stacking acts of kindness together in a time slot such as a few hours or a particular day give a more longer lasting feel good factor then one a day.
Today I had the pleasure of stacking some acts of kindness together and getting this boost when I delivered books I had to local primary schools.
Recently my friend Will Rainey author of Grandpa's Fortune Fables ran a competition in which I won 5 copies of his book. 1 for me and 4 to give to a local primary school. I asked If instead I could give split the copies to give to 4 primary schools and Will happily obliged.
The 4 chosen schools are:
Dollis Primary School - My Primary
Whitchurch First School - where a friend works and where I did my first happiness / gratitude workshop for schools
Krishna Avanti Primary School, Harrow ( part of Avanti Schools Trust) - the first state-funded Hindu faith school in the United Kingdom (my son is at the secondary)
Millbrook Park School- a Church of England school where my nephew attends.
Here is a short note for the schools which Will wrote.
______________________________________________
Letter from the author of Grandpa’s Fortune Fables:
I wrote Grandpa's Fortune Fables to help children learn about money in a way which is fun and memorable. I strongly believe that children who learn about money grow up more confident, have higher self-esteem and less money worries as adults.
Learning about money shouldn't be boring and hence why I put the important lessons into fables. I still remember learning from Aesop's fables as they were read during the headmaster's assembly when I was at school many years ago.
Grandpa's Fortune Fables covers different money topics so that children learn to earn, save and grow their money whilst avoiding debt, scams and gambling. Empowering every child, regardless of their background, to take control of their financial future.
To help teachers (and parents), there is a discussion point, at the end of each chapter, to start a conversation with children about what they have just heard or read.
I hope you believe this book will be a great resource to the school.
If you would like to order more copies of the book, I am more than happy to arrange a discount for your school. Please contact me at will@bluetreesavings.com.
Enjoy!
Will
30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training course
The January course has started well and we have incorporated some new improvements to the course including new content for the habits section of the Journal Workshop.
Waiting list is open for future training. Upon request we can do dedicated training for small teams, groups, family and friends.
One of the benefits shared from the course
The Gratitude Journaling for Happiness workshops with Mind in Enfield and Barnet are free and scheduled for February and March. See events page for details.
Last chance to join the MMG 2022
We have a bonus kick off meeting on Wednesday 19th January, last chance to join the MMG
Take a moment to reflect on the last year. Also look forward to where you want to be, what you want to have experienced and learnt by this time next year. Take control and supercharge your development in 2022 so when you look back you have grown and developed from where you are now. MasterMind Group is open for registration, you can register here
Here are some free opportunities shared to the MMG members that may interest you for your learning, development and growth, I will incorporate learning from them in HLH activities and the What I Learnt Today page :
What I learned today… #WhatILearnedToday
Learning, education and growth is important to me, helps us be happy, reduces chances of various ailments in older age As the year goes by I am collating some of my learnings and sharing here. Updates will be on an adhoc basis maybe weekly, maybe monthly, maybe longer. Some are posted on Social Media and they are collated here.
Looking Back, Looking Forward workshop attendees, now is a good time to review what you captured in the workbook and to do so on a regularly basis.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Facebook Group, Instagram, LinkedIn, Youtube etc links can be found at https://linktr.ee/HappyLifeHabits
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Singing my Praises - 6 Month Review Happy Life Habits (HLH)
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash
Leadership Vs Management
My teenage son asked me if I thought he was a leader or a manager. He asked after I picked him up from school where he had an interview for head boy, a role he had put his name forward for. He had been asked the question. I answered I thought he was a leader, I asked what he had answered and it was the same. Then I asked what he thought the difference between the two was.
I shared with him some thoughts I have learnt over time from Stephen Covey, Robin Sharma, John Maxwell, Simon Sinek, Nick Williams and my own experience of leadership.
Some of this I had shared with Xerox The Women's Alliance (TWA): Xerox Women’s Alliance – UK & Ireland Chapter in the talk titled " The Role of Effective Selfcare in Positive Leadership".
"Leadership is an act not a position"
"Leadership is not about taking charge but looking after those in your charge" Simon Sinek
"Leadership is about bring out the best in the people you work with"
With my son I shared the difference between Leadership and Management using the Stephen Covey example of Management being about climbing a ladder and Leadership about making sure the ladder is against the right wall. I used example of management painting house - sanding correctly, applying primer, 2 coats and doing it properly. Leadership being making sure it is the correct house that is being painted.
"Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things".
What are your thoughts on leadership and management?
Have you had any interesting conversations lately?
Singing my Praises - 6 Month Review Happy Life Habits (HLH)
I'm singing my praises, not to stroke my ego but to reaffirm to myself when sometimes I feel doubt, insecure, unmotivated or inspired. To remind why I get up in the morning and do what I do : Positively Impacting Happiness & Wellbeing Levels.
On 30th June we completed the 30 Day Happy Life Habits Gratitude & Habit Immersion Training Course. During the celebration calls the participants shared some of the changes that the had experienced - some were quite transformative. All rated the course excellent or very good.
With us being 6 months into the year I often take the opportunity to look back and to look forward - to review, reflect and remind.
6 Month Review:
In December just before the year end we had a Looking Back, Looking Forward Workshop - reflecting on last year and planning next. This was postponed from original date due to the death of my father in mid December.
We delivered 90 days of training through 3 instalments of the
30 Day HLH Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Course - this was Jan, Mar and June.
From Late Jan through Apr during lockdown; through 2 series; we supported with 12 consecutive weeks of Inspiration Point Podcast featuring amazing people sharing their journeys, One series was dedicated to Women, Mothers Day and International Women's Day.
In March we celebrated International Day of Happiness using the Wonder platform and having a variety of speakers, coaches, therapists, practitioners share in zones for Laughter, Relaxation, dealing with loss and conversations.
We took part in some talks with Healing Our Earth and SRMD in March and April
During May we supported Mental Health and Mental Health Awareness week (MHAW) with
Daily Videos - various groups
Events with Asian Parents Club before and after MHAW
Xerox The Womens Alliance talk
2 Happiness Booster sessions - one with Oshwal Connect
Daily quotes in Happy Life Habits Community Facebook group
Hosting a 21 Day Simple Living Challenge
Shared through various articles, blog post etc on Facebook, LinkedIn and the HLH website.
The Future continues with
Corp talks/workshops
Wellness event by Iglobal
Taking part in podcasts
Hosting more Inspiration Point Podcasts
Asian Parents Club sessions including one on Grief
HLH MasterMind Group - new exciting monthly project
30 Day HLH Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Course
What is one of your memorable, positive events, impacts, achievements from the last 6 months?
What are you looking forward to in remaining 6 months of the year?
The new and fun virtual event platform called Wonder that just turned 1 years old has a feature on Happy Life Habits in it’s July newsletter. We used Wonder for the International Day of Happiness event on 20th March 2020. as Happy Life Habits we are using it for various meetings and events.
Here is the write up.
"With a few simple adaptations to your routine, you can positively rewire your brain to bring high self-esteem, focus, and happiness into your everyday life."
Meet Shaileen Shah: the happiness coach trying to keep the business world an emotionally positive place. The founder of Happy Life Habits, Shaileen has a unique approach to personal development and the 'Science of Happiness'. A scientifically certified process that uses real life and digital gatherings to increase the 'feel good' chemical in the brain? Sign us up.
Q: Tell us about Happy Life Habits.
A: Happiness is a skill that can be learned and developed into empowering life habits. Happy Life Habits introduce off-screen practices and habits to rewire the brain and increase happiness levels. Developing an offline tool kit allows you to disconnect the practice from a fixed environment, and allow your brain and feelings to fully surface without distractions. We then use online check-ins to share the knowledge, reflect with others, and solidify the practice in a professional environment.
Q: Tell us about your last event.
A: Most of our events are currently online and we foresee a good proportion being so in the future. We have a 30 Day Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course with a mix of live online sessions, a private Facebook group, and accountability via WhatsApp. The goal is to deliver content online but connect to your offline brain.
Q: Why are you using Wonder?
A: I used Wonder to create an event for International Day of Happiness on 20th March. I set up Areas for Laughter, Relaxation, Conversation, and Dealing with Loss; being able to define specific Areas for people to meet removes the awkward introductory periods in other online tools. It worked so well and people were immediately able to connect to like-minded individuals and approach whom they wanted to speak to. The experience lends itself to a natural environment for having conversations that stick with you after the laptop is closed. Because of the simple UX, easy setup, and Area control, my guests had a memorable and positive experience with Wonder, and made a positive connection to the material. It's the perfect platform for hybrid events.
Check out Happy Life Habits and join their upcoming training course on Happiness. Mention Wonder and get a discount ;)
Excited to join @iglobalmedia for its first-ever Great Big Indian Wellness Show, on 16 & 17 July 2021. Join me as I discuss “Happiness Habits” at the BIGGEST & BEST health and wellbeing event for the welfare of the modern British Indian. Book your free virtual seat today & don’t miss out to be a part of 2 riveting days of masterclasses, top tips and discussions at #iWellnessShow. Register NOW https://bit.ly/iGlobal-TheGreatBigIndianWellnessShow2021
I’ll be sharing on 17th at 16:25.
HLH events and activities
HLH MasterMind Group
Happy Life Habits Mastermind Group
A place for a small group of like minded positive people each month to come together online, connect, support, inspire, share and cheer each other on in life's journey.
A segment for learning - a book, podcast, conversation, reflection or article that has inspired us.
A segment for brainstorming practical solutions to a problem that a member is facing, tapping into the collective wisdom of the group.
An opportunity to take consistent steps towards our goals within an environment that helps accelerate our learning, growth and progress.
Limited spaces.
We start on the 16th of July and run each month with virtual 90 min virtual meeting plus private Facebook Group.
Inspiration Point Podcast Series 4 confirmed for Autumn with another amazing line up. Booking and episode details will be available later this month.
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaileen-shah/
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
THE UPS & DOWNS OF A HAPPINESS COACH: CRAVING CONNECTION
As an experiment, for my own happiness and a way to serve I am going to chronicle as a diary some of my thoughts (ups and downs) and actions during this pandemic. Things that I am doing and finding beneficial to my all round happiness and well being many based on the themes shared in Together in Isolation .
The CounsellingTeacher.com Clipart Stephens Art
As an experiment, for my own happiness and a way to serve I am going to chronicle as a diary some of my thoughts (ups and downs) and actions during this pandemic. Things that I am doing and finding beneficial to my all round happiness and well being many based on the themes shared in Together in Isolation .
During this pandemic I have been craving for connection both people to people and grateful for the technology connections, I guess with the previous articles on Happier Relationships and what I have learnt over time I understand the importance of this to our happiness, well being and mental health. I have also been through the turbulence of insecurities and validation issues.
So, a request dear friend and reader
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) While doing (1) if you would be interested in free 30 min video conference calls for Happiness Boosters - connection and sharing, during these times let me know if morning, afternoon or evening preference and weekday and/or weekend. I will endeavour to serve.
(4) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
More will become clear as you read the rest of the article.
Week Commencing 16 March 2020
We are in the early stages of the pandemic and lots of fear and confusion is prevalent. Many things getting postponed, cancelled or closed - life is changing day by day. During the start of that week I was focused on the task of writing the Together in Isolation article to capture some for the sentiments and share how I and others are coping with it. What is helping us find certainty in uncertain times. For 2.5 days I was fully engrossed and in a flow state with this task being creative, resourceful, reflective and connecting with my communities. I thoroughly enjoyed it and felt I had produced a good quality, useful article especially as I am one of the most optimistic, positive and happy person I know and if I was feeling fear, uncertainty and unhappy during these times others must also be. During which I got the idea to have some online sessions to connect and share ideas. As is my nature, I wanted to share far and wide ,so I posted in WhatsApp groups, Facebook and LinkedIn.
I got some feedback from some people that they found the article useful. However seeing other articles/videos/posts being widely shared on the various mediums and mine not so much I felt it was not valued so much, including articles I had written previously which I felt were rich in content.
This compounded with seeing messages over time of peers getting various speaking slots, book launches or acknowledgement was having a knock on my self esteem.
Add to this where I set up 3 free online sessions on The International Day of Happiness (20 March) to have happiness boosters, connect, share content and conversation hoping to positively impact as many as possible and having 1 or 2 people only join each call made me wonder if what I am doing has any value. If I can’t give it away for free how am I going to make a living out of it later on?
I was grateful for the people who did take the opportunity and join the call. Some were friends and family, one was a complete stranger. Even if it was one person, I had a lovely time connecting with them, each sharing responses to a few questions and getting a better insight on life. I felt connected, I learnt and developed skills and felt I was able to positively impact Happiness and Well Being Levels. I felt energised and uplifted after the sessions. While helping others I was helping myself. This gave me validation that there is value in what I am doing. I am fulfilling Happy Life Habits mission of Positively Impacting Happiness & Well Being Levels and I am living my personal mission statement. Using the graphic of what I can control and what I can not control has reminded me to focus on what I do, keep improving and adding value. Not to get distracted by what others think or what others are doing.
Hence I intend to offer more such sessions - I don’t know the timing or frequency therefore the request at the start of the article. For now I will share details on website and Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Group.
What I’m doing
I am keeping a focus on what I can control - the image for this article being related to the Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People .
I am observing my thoughts, feelings and actions.
I am rebuilding and installing new routines and behaviours
I am reducing the noise and distractions
I am staying connected
I am keeping a flexible structure
I am prudent with how I am using my time
I am learning , growing and serving
I am applying the 7 Habits as well as other learning from Personal Development, The Science of Happiness and Spirituality
With our whole household now at home or working from home we need to actively build new routines, plans and be organised.
What is helping me is
Continuing my happiness practice of using my Happiness Journal each day and every day
Regularly meditating or being mindful
Going for walks during the day to get some fresh air, exercise and activity
Making sure we have some fresh foods (fruit and veg in the diet) along with good hydration
Making plans, to do lists, shopping lists and potential menus
I am not watching or following news actively - a little in the morning and then the UK Government Boris Johnson 5 pm live conference
I am keeping my phone on silent for much of day, have many notifications switched off and not looking at everything I receive on WhatsApp or email. Each day clearing out the messages.
From 21 Day Simple Living Challenge, a challenge early on was to tackle your inbox. Across my various email accounts I filed some useful emails and then mass selected, some of which had been parked for 3 years or more to be read and just zapped them. It felt good and had inboxes that I could see on the screen without scrolling! I need to redo that exercise again after receiving Covid 19 emails from all accounts where I am subscribed.
I am finding great benefit in taking part in 21 day challenge that I hosted on Simply Living. Some wonderful ideas and shared insights. The challenge was from start of March as pandemic unfolded in Europe to 21st March. It helped me focus on things I could do, positivity, gave a routine and via the platform website reading and commenting others insights made me feel connected
Due to the benefit I have gained from the 21 day Challenge I have set up more challenged back to back on Reverence, Kindness, Mindfulness and Gratitude to see me though the next few months of the pandemic.
KarunaVirus reponding with compassion is an initiative by ServiceSpace the same organisation behind the 21 Day Challenge Project. This website is a collection of positivity and compassion shown during the pandemic from around the world.
I am reducing my time on Facebook and LinkedIn - they are useful but easier to get stuck in noise and lose time
In terms of connection the online video conference is what I am finding works for me best. As mentioned in Together in Isolation
“The communities that I am a part of; being for me a source of faith, learning, growth, health, service and social activity were all stopping events and activity - badminton clubs, youth clubs, Jain Faith School, Jain Faith Convention, meditation circles, etc. This was impacting my sense of connection, community, clarity and meaning.”
The Jain School, Shree Chadana Vidhya Peeth (SCVP) started zoom video online adults classes so we took part in that.
The Museum of Happiness have online sessions.
The Awakin meditation circles I enjoy are now a online offering.
For Young Jains we discussed at the weekend and developed a set of sessions called “Enriching Conversations” : Online conversations by Young Jains, to help stay connected, share insights and remain centred. The first theme being “Finding Calm in the Chaos”.
Over the weekend we set up some video conference calls with some from my side of the family and a separate one with my wife’s. These were incredibly beneficial to see, talk with and share with family from all around the UK as well as outside of UK. We shared the impact the pandemic was having on us, what we were doing and what we found useful. It also was so beautiful to have the elder generation (self isolating - vulnerable, high risk) able to take part. I found this to be very nourishing and grateful that technology is available to allow this.
Based on all these experiences and my craving to connect as mentioned at the start I am going to hold Happy Life Habit Booster sessions. Just get in touch if interested.
I am continuing to find opportunities to learn and grow. The above are some as well as choosing some online training to partake in as well as reading (which was part of my routine prior to pandemic anyway). I have just finished the awesome 933 page Shantaram which I started at the start of the month after having been lent the book 4 years or so ago.
Until the next instalment of “The Ups & Downs of a Happy Coach”, stay safe, stay connected, be happy, help others, wash your hand and follow the guidelines.
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) While doing (1) if you would be interested in free 30 min video conference calls for Happiness Boosters - connection and sharing, during these times let me know if morning, afternoon or evening preference and weekday and/or weekend. I will endeavour to serve.
(4) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
“SUCCESS IS THE PROGRESSIVE REALISATION OF A WORTHY GOAL OR IDEAL”
TOGETHER IN ISOLATION
Together in Isolation
Finding Certainty in Uncertain Times :
Living during Coronavirus pandemic
Dedicated to every beings happiness on the UNs International Day of Happiness March 20th.
Shaileen Shah - Happiness Coach - Happy Life Habits
I started this blog article as a refreshing relish from the recent weeks of brain fog clouded by confusion, worry, uncertainty, anxiety, fear, helplessness and distraction. Anyone else felt the same?
Finding Certainty in Uncertain Times :
Living during Coronavirus pandemic
Dedicated to every being’s happiness for the UNs International Day of Happiness March 20th.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
Together in Isolation - I replaced with We - illness becomes Wellness
“In the future the history that will be written & remembered will be about how we thought, spoke & acted in the present through this crisis.”
Next bit
Wow what a fabulous title, image quote, opening to this article - if I say so myself. The opening quote is not mine but from Charles Dickens in the opening of a Tale of Two Cities - captures the present moment well. Likewise the Viktor Frankl quote happened to be the one in my Happiness Journal as I started this blog. The title is borne fruit from creative, inspired and motivated moments that I have recently had (quite humbly proud so I am going to savour it and affirm the positive, in fact I’ll share a clever quote that I came up with - though could be a paraphrase of someone else’s!). I started this blog article as a refreshing relish from the recent weeks of brain fog clouded by confusion, worry, uncertainty, anxiety, fear, helplessness and distraction. Anyone else felt the same?
I am worried about:
my elderly parents who have underlying health conditions so are high risk to the virus
my son due to sit his GCSEs in a few months
my finances
my developing happiness business
my own, my families and friends health
our communities, our nation, our world
our future
Quite surreal the times we are living in. Impacting everything and I mean everything. Stockmarkets imploding on a daily basis - savaging our investments, pensions and futures, country by country, nation by nation, community by community, person by person filling with uncertainty and forced changed - that we can do nothing about. The news being only on one topic, people going into Chicken Little mode “the sky is falling, the sky is falling”, rumours, conspiracy theories and misinformation perpetuating the fear and stock piling. On a daily basis and sometimes hourly radical changes occurring. Industries, nations, leaders brought to their knees. How do we cope? How do we survive?
“The Universal Constant is Change”
The communities that I am a part of; being for me a source of faith, learning, growth, health, service and social activity were all stopping events and activity - badminton clubs, youth clubs, Jain Faith School, Jain Faith Convention, meditation circles, etc. This was impacting my sense of connection, community, clarity and meaning.
I’m a Happiness Coach, trained in Science of Happiness, Personal Development and Spirituality and during this period of worry, zombie mode, lack of direction & action, helplessness as things unfolded impacting everything, I struggled. The nudge from my wise wife and a couple of conversations with a few people led to this action. Change the focus from doom and gloom to positivity, kindness and happiness - tap into what you know that helps and tap into others. I reached out to my communities via various means to ask how they were dealing and coping. The response and contributions were fabulous : quotes, actions, tips, meditations, poetry, humour, special voice recorded message. Around the same time I got some emails/newsletters with wonderful content. Funny how the Universe delivers what we focus on and how the Law of Attraction works. All the contributions are gems that can positively impact and uplift. I personally got direction, connection, insights, energy and inspiration. Thankful for it all.
I am currently hosting a 21 Day Simple Living Challenge that on day 16 when I started this article had the theme: Day 16: Practice Single-tasking - so using that I have focused onto research and content for this article.
Together in Isolation - has a few meanings, it means if we do have to go into isolation or social distancing we are not alone, we are in this together, it is a shared humanity. The forced changes break our existing routines, reality and isolation can lead to a sense of disconnection, loneliness and depression. See the previous 2 articles on Happier Relationships. By being selfish, self centred we will not get through this. Every human (and other living beings also) is being impacted.
“The coronavirus is apolitical. It doesn’t discriminate on the basis of race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. There is an opportunity here to transcend the individualism that has led to an atomized and polarized society. In our collective hands, we have tremendous power to stop the spread of this pathogen and forge a new story of connection instead of separation.
If we can get through this together, it may bring us together.
Mantra: Stay Centred, Follow the Science, Don’t succumb to Fear, Spread Information not the Virus
”
This quote is from an informative, sensible action packed podcast is really worth listening to. I love the Mantra: Stay Centred, Follow the Science, Don't succumb to Fear, Spread Information not the Virus. Here is the link Coronavirus and Our Common Humanity Commune with Jeff Krasno
The Universe, Mother Nature, Earth the greatest innovator and disrupter has decided that humanity as a collective needed a moment to standstill, break the pattern, take stock (not stock pile!), reflect on what matters, be present and mindful, escape from the every day business and take a look around and be reminded of the higher power - the power of love, kindness, compassion and peace.
I remember Wayne Dyer sharing an example of squeezing (not sneezing!) an orange and asking what will come out? Will it be apple juice? No. Grapefruit juice? No. Orange Juice? Yes. Why? Because that is what is inside. The Universe from time to time will test us and squeeze. What will come out? Whatever is on the inside will come out. If inside is selfish, self centred, greedy, inconsiderate, angry, fearful then that is what will be expressed. If inside is love, peace, kindness, gratitude, happiness, certainty then that is what will show up. We are currently being squeezed. We see this with the stories of people going nuts and stockpiling out of fear and selfishness, being xenophobic and spreading misinformation. I read a story of a many who picked up the last packet of pasta in a store when he already had plenty more packets and an elderly lady requesting if she could have it as she had none and him saying no. Or the photos of people who stockpiled items that will last well into next year. These stories play heavy on the heart and bring a dark cloud in the mind. Fortunately I am reading and hearing more positives such as the Sikh person who helps feed the homeless extending to give cleaning materials, maps of public washrooms and information on how to wash hands, or the Italians singing as a community in the evening while in lock down, or the coordinated clapping by Spanish for the gratitude to the front line health care professionals dealing with this crisis. This BBC link shares kindness stories including the creative idea of a postcard for options to help for those self isolating.
Received via WhatsApp - Transport for London Quote
I am currently reading the incredible, gripping book Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. It is a 933 page novel biography peppered with wonderful ideas. This is the perfect book to read if self isolating. One question in it is: What is an objective, universally acceptable definition of good and evil?
“What is an objective, universally acceptable definition of good and evil?
„In order to know about any act or intention or consequence, we must first ask two questions. One, what would happen if everyone did this thing? Two, would this help or hinder the movement toward complexity?” – Khaderbhai
(Complexity meaning God)
What I found more relevant in everyday life: there are no good or bad people. There are only “good deeds” and “bad deeds” and the sum of those deeds – the actions we perform – are what make us into someone good or bad”
I love the answer “What would happens if everyone did this?”. What would happen if everyone stockpiled? What would happen if everyone passed on the mis-information and fear? What would happen if everyone followed the guidelines on hand washing? What would happen if everyone looked out for and helped each other? Food for thought - stock pile that!
Together in Isolation
Finding Certainty in Uncertain Times :
Living during Coronavirus pandemic
Dedicated to every beings happiness on the UNs International Day of Happiness March 20th.
Shaileen Shah - Happiness Coach - Happy Life Habits
I reached out to my communities to ask what tips, practices, ways where they dealing with and coping with the pandemic. These are ordinary people like you and me - Humans. They are also extraordinary as you will see when you read, contemplate or hear their contributions. They are from a mix of faiths, nations, ages, genders, experiences, vocations including retired, pharmacists, dentists, finance/investment people, change makers, consultants, coaches, facilitators, trainers, teachers, volunteers, accountants, journalists, technologists, yoga teachers, healers, carers and home makers. I have compiled some of the overall themes that have been shared as well as my own thoughts and then some of the detailed sharing all of which help finding certainty in uncertain times. They all relate to the 4 human dimensions of Physical, Mental, Social/Emotion and Spiritual (see previous articles) and some are the basics we all know we should do.
CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLES
Focus on the things that you can control - all of the below suggestions
Control your energy; focus on higher energies
Finances - review income and expenses (see note later)
Remember the Serenity Prayer
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.”
ROUTINE
Our routines, plans and structures are likely to have been disrupted. Creatively develop empowering happy life habits that supplement new ways to do old things or replace old routines
Replace the routines of checking email, watching the news, refreshing the news or stock market webpages, social media, whatsapp messages etc every 5 mins. Switch off notifications and schedule and limit time when you will do these activities
Plan , organise and also be like a yoga teacher in your approach - be flexible
Do not forward everything you receive about the virus. Except of course awesome articles/ emails like this one.
Join the 21 Day Challenge
HEALTH
Eat sensibly - fresh fruit/veg
Hydrate well
Sleep well - get adequate rest and sleep to rejuvenate
Avoid toxins
Keep exercising
Keep breathing deeply
Keep washing hands as per advice
CONNECTION
Find ways to stay connected, in touch as alternative to the physical face to face. Use technology - Facetime, video conferencing, messaging apps, phone call, email (do remember the schedule/limit time aspect)
Really deeply listen
MINDFULNESS & PRESENT MOMENT
Be aware of your feelings, emotions, thoughts - don’t dwell on the dis-empowering, low energy ones - feel, observe, acknowledge and choose to change to more empowering high energy ones
Be present
LEARNING
Adapt, grow, develop, experiment and learn
Follow the science, be informed
Take opportunity to learn a new skill, revive and old one
Watch videos (TED etc), listen to podcasts, join courses, read books, enjoy poetry
REFLECTION, GRATITUDE AND JOURNALLING
Reflect
Practice gratitude - like make of the other practices mentioned it helps well being and resilience
Do some journalling - great to express, capture and learn from
KINDNESS
Be kind
Do kind, thoughtful acts
Be kind to yourself, be kind to your nearest and dearest, be kind to others
Viruses are contagious; so is panic, fear, hysteria; love, kindness, joy; choose wisely
NATURE
Spend time in nature - walk in park, down the road, garden
Get some fresh air and sunshine
See some greenery, hear some birds singing
Look at the sly, clouds, stars, moon
Observe the changing of the seasons
SPIRITUALITY & FAITH
Dive deeper into your spirituality or faith
Sing songs, Bhakti & Jaap (devotional songs)
Recite Prayers, Mantras and contemplate the meaning
Meditate
Keep Faith
Help and Serve others
Stay aware
HUMOUR & FEEL GOOD
Smile - it increases your face value!
This poem was chosen and read out by a young student at the last Jain School assembly we had before the school classes were cancelled due to the Virus. Some attribute it to Spike Milligan and some to Jez Alborough. Either way it is a lovely poem.
Smiling is infectious
You can catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today
I started smiling too
I walked around the corner
And someone saw me grin
When he smiled I realised
I had passed it on to him
I thought about the smile
And then realised its worth
A single smile like mine
Could travel round the earth
So if you feel a smile begin
Don’t leave it undetected
Start an epidemic
And get the world infected.
Read a good book, listen to your favourite music, watch your favourite film
Practice Laughter Yoga
Share a joke such as this one that I saw on Facebook …
They drove us mad with Corona...
We have become crazy.
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant.
I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow,
I raised the toilet seat with my foot,
I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbowand when I returned to my table I realized....
I forgot to pull up my pants!!!
“Stay centred, be compassionate, be in touch with people around you”
My friend Vicky Johnson, Co-Founder of The Museum of Happiness has recorded these thoughts and advice especially for this article. Really a great recording of some science and practical tools to use. It covers surfing the waves, no mud no lotus, 3 systems - Drive, Threat and Soothe - really useful, Energy management, self care and a gem (pun intended) of an idea about diamonds. Vicky hosts a weekly Facebook live on Happiness and Self Care.
Summarised tips contributed by volunteer teachers from Shree Chandana Vidhya Peeth Jain School (SCVP):
Prayers : Navkar Mantra, Uvaasagaharam (Healing Prayer)
Singing/Chanting: Stavans, Bhakti, Mantras
Help Others
Positivity
Pranayam - Breathing
Acceptance
Keep Calm
Read and follow the evidence based information
Do not stockpile
Thanks to contributions from our SCVP volunteer teachers : Rita Shah, Sandip Shah, Ketan Varia, Tejas Udani, Rajeev Shah, Manjri Shah, Rasila Shah, Sonal Dadia, Vaishali Mehta, Hina Vora and Kajal Sheth
“Three Thoughts for these times
*Universal Friendship • Truth • Inner Peace*
*Universal Friendship*
Awareness of the timeless idea that all living beings are equal to us and capable of the same spiritual heights generates the attitude of universal friendship. This compels us to care for all, to be considerate, to avoid selfish behaviour. As we live through these times, let’s ground ourselves in this ideal, knows as Maitri, Miti, or Metta. Let’s serve the vulnerable in our communities. Let’s be considerate when shopping. Let’s be loving and kind despite any fear or pain, wishing that all are well, happy and wise, in these times and at alk times.
*Truth*
Truth must be kind, otherwise it fails a deeper test. Today we are seeking to blame and judge. We lazily let our prejudices rise up and unwillingly spread hate, such as language which blames the Chinese or the Meat eaters. If there is an action to blame, let us become awake and aware, but let’s also practice kindness and hygiene in our thoughts and words. Many are using the opportunity to speak of the superiority of Hindu, Jain or Vegan lifestyles. Let’s celebrate the nobility, yes, but let’s keep away the unkindness, superiority, judgement and othering of souls who are on journeys just as we are.
Truth must also be discriminating and judicious. With modern social media, we are often sharing hoaxes or untested ideas about the Corona Virus, Covid 19. We are also unwittingly sharing unkind messages of judgement and othering. How can we separate and divide ourselves from souls just like us?
*Inner Peace*
Within us, innately, we are peace, bliss and love. Let’s connect within so we can face the challenges of today with fortitude, equanimity, truth and universal friendship. Self-care is also very important. Our daily spiritual practice will ensure we remain maintain inner balance, and manifest virtues grounded in deep truths which ensure we live in harmony with all other souls.
”
“I wasn’t planning on sending this email.
In fact, I wasn’t planning on writing anything about the coronavirus. The truth is, I am finding it hard to focus on anything in this present moment.
The uncertainty has me unsettled.
The present is constantly overshadowed by thoughts of the future. What if my friends or family get the virus? What if our city goes into full lockdown mode? How is the world going to recover?
Feeling overwhelmed, I turned to my journal and reflected on past moments of uncertainty.
I started making a list of things to remember, things that could ground me, bring perspective and return me to the present.
I wanted to send these to you in an email in case there is something in here that resonates with you — but also because I’d love to hear how you are coping.
Here are a few items from the list:
Meditation. Impermanence, or anicca as it is called in the Buddhist tradition, is the idea that things are constantly changing. And that we can observe that change without becoming consumed by it. A core concept behind Vipassana meditation and mindfulness is to experience the feeling of anicca in your own body by becoming aware of your bodily sensations without reacting to them with desire or aversion. Practicing this during meditation helps prepare us so that when we are met with unexpected sensations or experiences in our everyday lives, we are better prepared to experience them with a healthy level of perspective and equanimity. I have been returning to meditation regularly these past few weeks to help recenter me.
Practice gratitude. This may sound counter-intuitive when it seems like there’s more to be scared, angry or anxious about. But I come back to these words from Brother David Steindl-Rast: “I didn’t say we can be grateful for everything. I said we can be grateful in every given moment…” It is not that we need to be grateful for the virus or the school closings or the delayed travel plans. But every single moment has something that we can give thanks for, if we open ourselves up to it. Our breath — which reminds us that we have the opportunity to be here and be present — is a perfect example.
Journaling. Just writing things down does wonders to help me sort through and get to the bottom of how I am actually feeling. This email is a perfect example. It started with a rant answering the seemingly simple question I am prompted with every time I open my journaling app: “Hey Dave, how are you feeling today?” Getting these thoughts out of my head and onto the page is a way of acknowledging the thoughts that are racing around my head. And as I acknowledge the thoughts, I notice that they begin to quiet.
Support each other. In difficult times, it’s easy to think we are alone, especially with the currently prescribed “social distancing”. Reach out to those you care about — but instead of just trading fears and anxieties, try bringing a positive element to the conversation. Let your loved ones know you are thinking about them and tell them something you appreciate about them. Spreading the love is a great way to feel the love. Support others and you will feel supported.
”
“Finances
People are worried about their finances - especially because they may be forced to take unpaid leave, go into voluntary isolation, quarantine. People’s financial position varies significantly. Everyone has been impacted financially, whether this is your pension value reduced by 20 - 30%, income reduced, etc. There is no one size fits all approach but any number of the following steps may help you towards staving off anxiety:
(1) Work out monthly expenditure and identify areas where you can reduce your expenses.
(2) Look at your savings so you can plan for expenditure if income is compromised
(3) If you have credit card debt, contact the lender to ask for a payment holiday with interest frozen
(4) If you need extra money in the short term ask your bank to increase your overdraft limit and reduce charges
(5) If you will struggle with your mortgage due to loss of income talk to your lender. The key thing is not to worry about things, reach out for support and advice. You are not alone.”
From friends linked on Face Book
Vikrant Jain: It shall pass
Or
It shall pass and Hopefully we as humanity n individual will come out stronger by end of itDeepa Shah: If you are 'having' downtime, reframe it as a positive!
So many things to replenish, rejuvenate and restore your body, mind and spirit:
1. Read inspiring and uplifting books, articles or listen to podcasts.
2. Practicing relaxation either tapping, guided relaxation or meditation.
3. Practice some yogasana slowly with breath awareness and pranayama.Beejal Coulson: It’s important to have neutrality in the mind and generate peace rather than attempt to generate a positive mind in uncertain times. The practice of meditation is vital in these challenging times. Self care is vital. Where your attention goes is where your energy and focus goes so be mindful where you place your attention.
Kevin Gosling:
1 Don't panic and remain reasoned and sensible
2 Enjoy life to the full as don't know what tomorrow will bring
3 Family , friends and loved ones should always come firstTamzin Doggart: Even dark times are a possibility. Someone else has just posted: Just a reminder that when Shakespeare was quarantined because of the plague, he wrote King Lear.
Nilesh Tarpo Shah: Be positive for negativity is all taken
Minal Shah: I am self isolating.
So already had some time to do things I never get round to doing... Although limited somewhat by symptoms.
Wash hands with alertness, paying attention to how you do it rather than a regular ritual.
You can still go for a walk as long as you don't make contact with others to get fresh air, exercise and to keep calm and carry on.
Be thankful for each opportunity.Jyoti Mehta: Keep a routine of sorts. Still set your alarm clock for a certain time. And go for a walk!
Bindi Shah: Remain in equanimity
“Cultivating an Inner Resource - Meditation
Creating a safe space within you where you feel a sense of ease, well-being, resiliency, wholeness, balance, peace, groundedness…
It’s a felt sense within your body that may be evoked by a memory of a person, place or thing or something that you have imagined or a visualisation. Maybe a place in nature, a sacred object, sounds, activities etc. It doesn’t matter what it is, just choose something that brings you a sense of peace, security and well-being.
As you form your Inner Resource, reflect on people, animals, objects and phrases that help you embed and recall in your mind your Inner Resource. Conjure up sounds, taste, smells and other qualities that help you to access your inner resource.
Take time to embody your Inner Resource throughout the day. It builds your capacity to welcome every experience as a flow of changing movements within your unchanging Being. It enables you to experience a sense of well-being no matter your circumstance.
”
“1. Be mindful of all your feelings – I think it is important not to suppress or deny your feelings, and its equally important to remember that feelings aren’t facts. Make friends with your feelings and then decide which ones to act on and how you want to act on them
2. Keep a sense of humour – there is always lots to laugh about, and finding the comedic in what is going on is often one of the most powerful ways to lift your spirits and actually stay well. Laughter can be the best medicine
3. Stay in the here and now – right now you are probably fine and most likely will be. Simply deal with what is in front of you in this moment and try not to be too anxious for the future that may not happen
4. Follow the practical advice – don’t take unnecessary risks and also recognise reality of the limits to your ability to protect yourself. Accept that there are many things you simply cannot control”
“1) you can reduce the risk, you can’t remove it
2) you being in fear will help no one because you will make bad, irrational decisions from your fear
3) look after yourself, look after others, keep your compassion and humanity”
“ Anitya (everything other than the soul is temporary)
and asuchi ( the body is a host to many diseases, etc)
and maitri (universal friendship towards the virus as it is also a soul, just like us)
Contemplations on bhavnas (reflections on reality)”
“How to reduce fear, anxiety and paranoia over the CV
There are two simple things I’d like to share.
1. Fear weakens the immune system
2. Love and happiness boosts it.
So how can you find your way from Fear to Love?
And find your way back to feeling balanced and calm.
One of the things that works well for me and my clients is to stimulate two acupressure points at the same time as taking deep calming breaths.
Take the first two fingers of one hand and press them firmly in between your eyebrows.
At the same time take the first two fingers of the other hand and press firmly in the middle of your chest.
And then breathe.
Take some deep calming breaths and feel yourself start to relax.
From this place of relaxation tune into your inner wisdom to make wise judgements from peace and calm and not from fear.
Feel into the truth of what is being said.
”
“Given I’ve chosen to self-isolate I am focusing on self-care practices:
Allow myself to sleep lots
Stay connected to good friends
Challenge myself neither to judge others behaviours nor fall into the herd mindset”
“ It is perfectly normal to feel anxious at this time. Try making inner space to allow the feeling to come and and go, with as much love and compassion and acceptance you can. And holding that feeling, focus on taking meaningful action that can support you and others at this time. Compassion for all, including yourself, is very much called for at this time. We are all in this together.”
“It has been an interesting to observe the processing of this inner landscape over these past couple of weeks . Feelings of helplessness, fear, perplexity, anxiousness and more. Most interesting has been how these emotions arrive and pass. For many years now, I stopped reading /listening to news.. in any format... whatever needs to get known will come my way, was the philosophy. Naturally, the enormity of these changing tunes has drawn me, almost involuntarily , into the news stream, and i have quickly realised the inward psychological effect this was having. One can certainly not live in ignorance during these times, but I’m trying hard, to limit reading every message, article, story. Instead, am Being selective in what I absorb and reading the main news on BBC/Sky at the beginning and evening of every day. This has enormously been supportive in maintaining a balanced calm response to all that is unfolding.
Staying positive isn’t easy, yet, I’ve found the numerous stories of love and kindness taking place across the globe has been deeply reassuring and healing. It restores the faith in humanity and that we are whole as one. Of course, on a day to day practical level when we see people hoarding and accumulating for their own greed, I need to dig deep and let go of judgement , instead keep my heart open to hold compassion for their fear of scarcity. My responsibility remains in taking full responsibility for my own actions.
This leads on to the other practice, of actively praying and seeking forgiveness from Mother Earth, for myself and on behalf of others, for failing to respect everything she’s offered. The biggest learning has been how this is a powerful reminder for us as humans to be humble and to hold humility. For us to remember we are one and are not superior to each other or as a species. Ultimately I see this Pandemic as Nature’s way to remind us of this and bring rebalance.”
Trishna Shah a friend who is a Service Space volunteer and hosts Awakin Circles in London has shared a few poems that she has received that have been penned during this pandemic.
Lockdown
Yes there is fear.
Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
But,
They say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
You can hear the birds again.
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
The sky is no longer thick with fumes
But blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi
People are singing to each other
across the empty squares,
keeping their windows open
so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say that a hotel in the West of Ireland
Is offering free meals and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know
is busy spreading fliers with her number
through the neighbourhood
So that the elders may have someone to call on.
Today Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples
are preparing to welcome
and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary
All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
To how big we really are.
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To Love.
So we pray and we remember that
Yes there is fear.
But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation.
But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying.
But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness.
But there does not have to be disease of the soul
Yes there is even death.
But there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic
The birds are singing again
The sky is clearing,
Spring is coming,
And we are always encompassed by Love.
Open the windows of your soul
And though you may not be able
to touch across the empty square,
Sing.
— Fr. Richard Hendrick, OFM
March 13th 2020”
Pandemic
What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath—
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.
And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.
Promise this world your love--
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live."
--Lynn Ungar
Together in Isolation
Finding Certainty in Uncertain Times :
Living during Coronavirus pandemic
Dedicated to every beings happiness on the UNs International Day of Happiness March 20th.
Shaileen Shah - Happiness Coach - Happy Life Habits
Received over social media
In conclusion I hope this collection of thoughts, insights, ideas, meditations, poems, audio, quotes, sharings, actions, tips, habits, reflections that have graciously contributed to give an feeling of Togetherness in Isolation, help you find certainty in uncertain times. I have enjoyed the 2.5 full on days it has taken to collect, compile and structure this article. It has helped me focus, stay inspired and motivated. I have learnt new things, enjoyed feeling connected and have the certainty that we are in this together.
Any positive comments please share immediately, any negative please wait till after pandemic - got enough to deal with at the moment.
Have a Happy UN International Day of Happiness on March 20th.
I am grateful to all the people from my communities who responded to my request of tips on how they are dealing with the pandemic. Many contributions have been included in the article but I have not included all. In no particular order my thanks go out to :
Harshna Shah, Rita Shah, Sandip Shah, Ketan Varia, Tejas Udani, Rajeev Shah, Manjri Shah, Rasila Shah, Sonal Dadia, Vaishali Mehta, Hina Vora, Kajal Sheth, Jigna Deepesh Shah, Priti Shah, Seetal Popat, Vikrant Jain, Deepa Shah, Ravi Khanna, Beejal Coulson, Kevin Gosling, Tamzin Doggart, Nilesh Tarpo Shah, Minal Shah, Jyoti Mehta, Bindi Shah, Vishal Shah, Devi Savla, Sanjay Shah, Priya Ramesh Shah, Sidharth Shah, Niraj Shah, Mita Shah, Trishna Shah, Vicky Johnson, Shamash Alidina, Jane Jackson, Ashik Shah, Ani Devlia, Jeff Krasno, Dave Radparvar.
Apologies if I have missed anyone - it happens - I’m human ( well actual a spiritual being having a human experience).
I am holding free virtual group happiness coaching circles during the pandemic where we focus on happy practices like ones mentioned in this article and also include some of the contributors.. If interested get in touch. See also https://www.happylifehabits.co.uk/events-and-workshops
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Resources
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Group
Coronavirus and Our Common Humanity Commune with Jeff Krasno
BBC Coronavirus: How to protect your mental health
Action for Happiness: Covid 19 how to respond
Vicky Johnson Museum of Happiness Weekly Happiness and Self care Facebook Live
Instagram on CoronaVirus Niraj Shah - co-founder Mind: Unlocked
Shamash Alidina, Co-Founder of The Museum Of Happiness and Mindfulness Teacher
Nick Wiiliams offering thought leader on Inspired Leadership and author of 18 books
Jane Jackson, Soul Coach and Emotional Healer
Sanjay Shah, Emotional Intelligence Speaker, Coach, Trainer
Mita Shah, Yoga teacher and Awakin Circle Host
Beejal Shah, Rapid Transformation Therapist and Creator of Quantum Life Technique
Priti Shah, Regional Director LightSide Financial - Debt Solutions
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
HAPPIER RELATIONSHIPS
This article contains some of the ideas shared at the Happier Relationship workshops that Happy Life Habits delivered on 14 February 2020 at Shri Chandana Vidyapeeth (SCVP London) Jain School. The follow on part 2 session is on 28th February 2020 at the same venue.
This article contains some of the ideas shared at the Happier Relationship workshops that Happy Life Habits delivered on 14 February 2020 at Shri Chandana Vidyapeeth (SCVP London) Jain School. The follow on part 2 session is on 28th February 2020 at the same venue.
Recording of Happier Relationships delivered on 14th February 2020 at SCVP Jain School.
Relationships are integral to our lives. The happier relationships we have, the more connected, happier and meaningful our lives are. Take a moment to answer these questions and do this activity:
Think of a current great relationship / friendship that you have.
Who is it with? Why is it great ? (List at least 3 things)
What are the ingredients for a happy relationship?
What causes relationships to strain?
Why are relationships important?
What are the 3 most important relationships?
Let’s take some of these questions and look at some answers.
What are the ingredients for a Happy Relationship? Here are some:
TRUST: One fundamental idea that gets mentioned when discussing this topic, is the idea of Trust. Be it a romantic relationship, a relationship between family members, friends, business, doctor and patient, or teacher and student, there needs to be a good level of trust for the relationship to be happy. When the trust is abused or gone, the relationship deteriorates. Sometimes the trust is given straight away and at other times it is earned but when it is gone, it is difficult to rebuild.
VALUES: Having some matching values is key. Not all values necessarily need to match or align in ranking but having core values match and similar ranking is a good foundation. A bit like the intersect of two circles representing values domain in a Venn diagram. Having some different values is what gives variety and opportunities for learning and growth. When values are not matching and aligned, it has resulted in the relationship failing - be it a married relationship or a business relationship.
THINK WIN-WIN: This is habit 4 from Stephen Covey’s - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is not about compromise or feeling that you have to give in or give up, but rather about finding a way that both parties in the relationship win, finding a solution that benefits both and both are happy to live with. When we go in with Win-Lose, Lose-Lose, or Lose-Win attitude we are already at a loss. It can become transactional and keeping count such as I gave in this time so next time they have to give in. Win-Win is seeing how best we can serve each other so overall we all benefit.
BRING OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER: Related to the Win-Win thinking, you bring out the best in each other, encourage each other to be closer to their potential and grow. Your are living the values, expressing the virtues both during good times and especially during challenging times.
SHARED EXPERIENCES: Shared experiences - either positive ones or challenging ones, help create bonds, memories and opportunity for growth.
COMMUNICATION: LISTEN, TALK, UNDERSTAND (DISCUSS): To really listen to the other person, without judging, interrupting, advising (unless requested) and to just hold space for them is a valuable skill to develop and amazing thing to do. Sometimes they just want to have someone listen, so they can share what they are thinking, feeling and get it out of their system. Talking and sharing conversation helps to understand each other. It lets us know what is going on and can alleviate the issues of expectations and misunderstandings. Conversations can occur during the usual day to day and does not need a designated time such as while washing up, loading the dishwasher, cooking, meal time, driving, before going to bed.
Deep, present listening and talking lead to understanding , discussion and can help deal with stress, anxiety, depression and emotional regulation.
FEEL LOVED, VALUED, CARED FOR… we want to feel loved, valued and cared for. We want to support and be supported, encourage and be encouraged.
“CONNECTION IS WHY WE’RE HERE.
IT’S WHAT GIVES PURPOSE AND MEANING TO OUR LIVES”
The Greater Good Science Centre, Action for Happiness and The Museum of Happiness all put great importance to connection and relationships as essential aspects of Happiness. The Science has shown that feeling connected is vital to our well being. Without feeling connected or having good relationships it can impact our mental health and feelings of loneliness. It has significant health benefits including better resilience and those with good quality relationships living longer.
Oxytocin, one of the happy chemicals released in the body has one of its functions to help with bonding, connection and trust. It is released in a mother when she has given birth to create the mother-child bond. It also helps with our well being by impacting the heart, arteries and vagus nerve. Low Oxytocin leads to low trust, low social interaction, weak relationships, anxiety and fear.
Through acts of kindness, compassion, touch, hugs, contact, gifts and the practice of gratitude we can increase the Oxytocin in our bodies.
“I USED TO THINK THAT THE WORST THING IN LIFE WAS TO END UP ALL ALONE. IT’S NOT. THE WORST THING IN LIFE IS TO END UP WITH PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL ALONE.”
Some of the aspects that cause a strain on relationships are: being disloyal, trust gone, not listening, expectations, less shared experiences and quality time together.
John Gottman, a researcher who has studied relationships for over 40 years is able to predict with 91% accuracy if a couple are going to stay together after a few years based on watching a 5 minute clip of the interactions between the couple. What he observed was that if there were 5 or more positive interactions to each negative one then the couple where likely to stay together and those whose ratio of positive to negative was 1:1 or less were likely to split up.
“DON’T WASH THE DISH BECAUSE IT IS DIRTY. DON’T WASH THE DISH BECAUSE SOMEONE TOLD YOU TO. WASH THE DISH BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE PERSON THAT WILL USE IT NEXT.”
The concept of a emotional / relational bank account from the work of Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people is a power one and relates to the 5:1 ration that John Gottman shared. The concept is that we all have a relational bank account in a relationship, similar to a normal financial bank account.We can make deposits and withdrawals in this account. However if we make withdrawals before we have made deposits or the value of withdrawals is greater than the deposits then we go into overdraft and that is going to hurt. The value of deposits and withdrawals are not equal, a withdrawal could have a higher value than a deposit. For a deposit to be accepted it must be in the currency valued in the recipients bank.
The Relational /Emotional Bank Account from Stephen Covey
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a fantastic book sharing lessons on personal change from Dependence to Independence to Interdependence. It is one that has had a profound impact on me since my mid twenties. Three of the habits are all about relationships, interdependence, and how we interact with others. These are Think Win-Win, Synergy and Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
THINK WIN-WIN: This is about the attitude of going into a relationship (business, romantic or any other) with a win-win mindset. Finding or creating a solution or agreement that both (all) parties are happy with and can live with. It is not compromise where one feels that they have given up something or transactional where I have compromised / given up this time so the other party must compromise next time. It is a genuine approach to find a solution that benefits both parties where they both win and no one loses. Of course if a solution of win-win can not be found or agreed upon then perhaps a no deal is required.
SYNERGY: Synergy is all about collaboration and cooperation where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, where 1 + 1 = 3 or more. It is where what I can do has a certain limit and likewise what you can do has a limit but together we create something that is far greater then the sum of our two limits. An example of synergy is that a plank of wood across 2 supports can hold a certain amount of weight, let us say for example it it 10 kg. Two such planks individually could hold 20 kg, however if the two planks are put one on top of another there collaboration, cooperation, synergy together allows them to hold 50 kg of weight - exceeding what they could do individually.
We are all here because of the synergy of our parents when 1+1 = 3 or more!
SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND AND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD: is a beautiful way of mindful listening, being present and holding space. It allows the other person to share, be heard, feel valued and exist without interruption, advice, our own story, thoughts or feelings colouring the moment. In doing so they are in a better position when the time is right to understand us or what we are sharing. Really powerful for negotiation, conflict resolution or to have a deeper bond.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SHE OR HE IS THE ONE?
I don't believe in "the one" in the soul mate sense.
I do believe there are partners out there that will bring us greatness now and in the future and in turn, it will bring us immense pleasure to bring greatness to them.
By greatness, I mean satisfaction, fulfilment, and growth in every sense of each word.
You will be both a supporter and a mentor to each other.
You are aligned on the values you are passionate about.
You will challenge each other's views and comfort each other when no one else can.
Most importantly, you respect each other enough to listen and you care enough to understand.
When you realise you are the best versions of the people you wish to be when you are around each other, you will know you never want to leave each others’ sides.
Don't be afraid to fall in love.
Dave Radparvar Co-Founder, Holstee
Resources
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Men’s brains and Women’s brains - Mark Gungor
Museum of Happiness Relationships Article
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
THE SECRET TO LONG LASTING HAPPINESS
Let me share with you the secret to long lasting happiness. It is … Gratitude. Thank goodness for gratitude! It is my favourite and niche Happiness habit and has immensely helped me many times through life’s challenges. Gratitude is the practice of counting our blessings for what we already have in our lives. For being thankful with what we have.
Let me share with you the secret to long lasting happiness. It is … Gratitude. Thank goodness for gratitude! It is my favourite and niche Happiness habit and has immensely helped me many times through life’s challenges. Gratitude is the practice of counting our blessings for what we already have in our lives. For being thankful with what we have. For appreciating where are are, what we have and what we are doing. It is the recognition of what is already wonderful in our lives. It is a habit of the heart and when practised regularly helps cultivate and enhance all the other virtues. The Roman, Marcus Cicero is quoted as saying:
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others
Marcus Cicero
Thanks Giving is a a traditional time when many people reflect on gratitude and give thanks for what they already have. Traditionally Thanksgiving started as a harvest festival to give thanks for the harvest collected.
What can you give thanks for, be grateful for that you already have in your life?
Could it be for hot running water? shelter, family, friends, food, heating, transport options, work, study, community, hospitals, etc?
The beauty of gratitude is that it amplifies the good we already have, it helps rescue us from negativity or struggles and fosters connection. It heals, gives hope and helps us not feel deflated.
Some scientific proven benefits for happiness - in particular Gratitude - from Gratitude Researcher Robert Emmons:
Practice of gratitude has dramatic, lasting and positive results: every time
Journal Diary - 2 weeks - sustained reductions in stress (25%) and depression (16%) in health care practitioners
23% lower levels of stress hormones (cortisol)
10% improvement in sleep quality in patients with chronic pain (76 % had insomnia) and 19% lower depression levels
Letter of gratitude reduced feeling of hopelessness in 88% of suicidal patients and increased levels of optimism in 94% of them
Gratitude activates the learning centres in the brain hence helping us be solution focused and found solutions to life’s challenges. It helps increase the release of the happy chemicals such as Dopamine into our system and flush out the stress hormones such as cortisol thereby reducing stress and making us feel happy. It has an impact on our mental and physical health improving our overall well being.
Scientifically proven benefits of gratitude
Resources
21 Day Gratitude Challenge starting 23rd Nov 2019
Invest in a Happiness Journal from Happy Life Habits for £20 - each one bought supports the UNs Sustainable Development Goals by giving a book to a library in India. Get in touch if you would like a journal.
Happy Life Habits does workshops on Happiness at Work, Gratitude, Kindness, Mindfulness, Habits.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.