ARTICLES & BLOG
Take A Moment
Sometimes we just need to take a moment to catch our breath, reset ourselves or get ready of the next challenge. Take a moment now to reflect on the last few months of this year and what you have experienced and learnt. Take a moment to reflect on what you want to experience in the next 3 months and also by the end of the year. I’ll take a moment here to share what Happy Life Habits has planned over the next 3 months. We are your partner on the happiness journey.
Sometimes we just need to take a moment to catch our breath, reset ourselves or get ready of the next challenge. Take a moment now to reflect on the last few months of this year and what you have experienced and learnt. Take a moment to reflect on what you want to experience in the next 3 months and also by the end of the year. I’ll take a moment here to share what Happy Life Habits has planned over the next 3 months. We are your partner on the happiness journey.
Just 2 mins…
If Happy Life Habits has positively impacted your happiness & wellbeing levels by any of these:
Attending a course or workshop
Support during Mental Health Awareness Week
Participating in the book club
Attending a Happiness Booster session
Coaching session
Inspiration Point Podcast (live or recording)
Reading a blog article
Reading a post/video/quote etc on Facebook/ LinkedIn/ Instagram / YouTube etc
Just a chat
Then please take 2 mins to fill out this google review so we can reach and serve more people.
Inspiration Point Podcast Last Episode
This week we have the last episode of Inspiration Point Podcast Series 3 (attend with gifted ticket using promo code ‘GUEST’) . With that episode we have continuously served 12 weeks, each week of Inspiration Point Podcast through series 2 and series 3. The feedback from those who attended the live episodes is that majority:
Would recommend Inspiration Point Podcast to family and friends
Compared to start of episode, at the end of the episode their happiness levels were higher
I thank all the guests who have taken part in the 3 series we have had so far (18 episodes), the sponsors and all those who have attended the live episode or caught up on the recording. Each episode has been special, insightful, inspiring, positive and I have learnt much from it. There are patterns and differences. Please do share any feedback you may have.
If you would like to take part in a future episode or know someone who might please share this form. The more forms filled the sooner we can plan series 4 and 5 later this year.
Speaker Events
We continue to host and share events and also get invited to speak at those organised by various communities, groups, companies and organisations.
This week we take part in a wellness talk, as series organised by Shrimad Rajchandra Dharampar Mission. It is a free event open to all.
Happiness at Work - Help Wanted
We could do with your help to support Happiness at Work. We have a range of talks/workshops on offer and can also do bespoke sessions. If the below topics are of interest let your HR, Managers, Leaders, networks know of these services and we could be sharing them at your workplace to everyone’s benefit. Also see further below about Mental Health Awareness Week.
For a successful engagement we will thank you with the Happiness Journal (£25) used in the Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course.
SOME OF THE TOPICS OFFERED BY HAPPY LIFE HABITS INTO THE WORKPLACE ARE:
The Role of Effective Self-Care in Positive Leadership
A Framework for Work-Life Harmony
The 7 Habits of a Happy Workforce
Increasing Positivity & Resilience in Stressful Environments
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Stephen Covey’s work)
The Secret To Long Lasting Happiness: The Gratitude Workshop
Being Centred during uncertain, changing times
Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course
The Happy Life Habits Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course will be one year old on 1st June. We just finished the March course and have June and November this year. For June we have option of morning sessions or evening sessions.
The course run over 30 days helps to develop habits in both Gratitude and Journaling and reap the benefits of these practices. The first session, a Journal Workshop has been extended to 90 mins from original 60 mins incorporating ideas on habits from various sources including: Atomic Habits - James Clear, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey and the ideas of B.J Fogg and Charles Duhigg.
If this year you want to deepen you Gratitude practice, develop it as a new one or add a journal practice then this is the course for you. The benefits delivered by the course are immense, far reaching and in excess of the investment price.
The course price will be going up on 17th May - after Mental Health Awareness Week. You can secure a place for June or Nov at the current price by registering before mid-May.
Really do not miss out on this opportunity to develop these skills during 2021, I currently have not idea if and what frequency will run the course in 2022.
Mental Health Awareness Week : 10-16 May
Last year we supported Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) in various ways on each day. This year we will support MHAW. If you are aware of any resources or events please do let us know by 25th April so we can include them in an article before MHAW.
We have a free 21 Day Simple Living Challenge that will start on 10th May. Each day you get an email in your inbox with a thought, reflection or action and you can go onto the kindspring platform for the challenge and share your experiences and read the other participants. I found these challenges a brilliant support during the pandemic and lockdown months.
To join click here: https://www.kindspring.org/challenge/join/2041/
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
The UN's International Day Of Happiness
As a Happiness Coach and Happy Life Habits we love the International Day of Happiness, dedicated to celebrating the importance of happiness. We are celebrating with an event and also share some other activities that we are aware of that are going on related to this. Wishing you a Happy Day celebrating the International Day of Happiness.
As a Happiness Coach and Happy Life Habits we love the International Day of Happiness, dedicated to celebrating the importance of happiness. We are celebrating with an event and also share some other activities that we are aware of that are going on related to this. Wishing you a Happy Day celebrating the International Day of Happiness.
What is the International Day of Happiness?
The UN says
It’s a day to be happy, of course! Since 2013, the United Nations has celebrated the International Day of Happiness as a way to recognise the importance of happiness in the lives of people around the world. In 2015, the UN launched the 17 Sustainable Development Goals, which seek to end poverty, reduce inequality, and protect our planet – three key aspects that lead to well-being and happiness.
The United Nations invites each person of any age, plus every classroom, business and government to join in celebration of the International Day of Happiness.
Happy Life Habits Celebrating International Day of Happiness
Our Inspiration Point Podcast episodes on either side of the International Day of Happiness, 17th March with Sacha Clark and 24th with Mary Thomson are both who have trained in teaching happiness.
Happy Life Habits is celebrating with a event on the actual day, there will be various zones such as laughter, relaxation, life after loss, gratitude and more for people to discuss, share, express, explore, listen and connect. We will have comedy, laughter yoga, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - Tapping, rebuilding life after loss, gratitude and more. This celebration is delivered with the help of:
Mary Thomson will share a Playful blending of Happiness, Laughter Yoga, Mindfulness and Gratitude
Mary is a trained nurse and nurse trainer who has taken training in Happiness Teaching, Laughter Yoga, Mindfulness and Gratitude. More about Mary on Inspiration Point Podcast page.
Kalpana Doshi will combine Laughter Yoga and lead a Meditation
Kalpana is a certified Laughter Yoga practitioner based in London, with more than eight years of experience across the UK and internationally. (www.spiritlaughter.com)
Mel Byron will bring smiles with Comedy and Laughter
Mel is a trainer and stand-up comedian, who passionately believes in joy, confidence and kindness being the keys to success in work and in life. More about Mel on Inspiration Point Podcast page. ( www.melbyron.com)
Suraj Shah will hold space on “Rebuilding a calm, joyful and purposeful life following the loss of a loved one”
Suraj holds deep conversations with those seeking to rebuild their lives following a significant change or loss. For instance, the death of a loved one or a change of role due to redundancy, retirement or when children have grown up and left the nest. (www.SurajShah.com)
Nina Joshi Ramsey will conduct EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - Tapping
Nina is an author, speaker, trainer with skills in stress management, Reiki and healing techniques including EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - Tapping. More about Nina on Inspiration Point Podcast page. (www.ninajoshiramsey.com)
Hansa Pankhania will lead a Relaxation Meditation
Hansa is a Stress Resilience & Wellbeing Expert and Author, Executive Coach and Speaker, and cherishes the opportunity to support the world in managing the stress and anxiety that is prevalent in society today. More about Hansa on Inspiration Point Podcast page. (www.aumconsultancy.co.uk)
Melanie Bloch will share Laughter from the Inside Out
Melanie is a Holistic Laughter Coach - student and facilitator of' A Course In Miracles' Laughter Therapist, Laughter Yoga Teacher, Advanced Bodyworker, Theta Healer, Thought Field Therapist and Reiki Master with over 25 years in the Complementary Medicine Field.(www.melaniebloch.co.uk)
Shaileen Shah will hosting, celebrating and looking forward to conversations on happiness
Shaileen is a happiness coach, speaker and trainer. He is trained in the Science of Happiness and through Happy Life Habits positively impacts Happiness & Wellbeing Levels. (www.HappyLifeHabits.co.uk).
Tickets can be booked here.
Action for Happiness - 10 Days of Happiness
Action for Happiness a non-profit movement of people from 160 countries helps coordinate activities of the UN’s International Day of Happiness.
For a month long coping calendar and to join a 10 day online happiness course see https://www.dayofhappiness.net/#new
The Museum Of Happiness - Celebrate International Day of Happiness! 20th March 11am -12pm
Our friends The Museum of Happiness each year celebrate this day. This year join Museum of Happiness co-founder Vicky, to explore and create your very own mini Museum of Happiness, and learn simple but science-backed ways to add a little happiness to your every day.
Aimed at everyone from 5 to 95, bring some art supplies and a sense of play, and let’s make it a day of happiness - together!
The session will be held on Zoom and you will receive and email nearer to the time with everything you need for the session.
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/celebrate-international-day-of-happiness-tickets-144239617579
The Slough Collective - Feel Good Festival 10:30 - 5:45pm
Our friends at the Slough Collective have put on a Feel Good Festival with a variety of activities including meditation, cooking, creative writing, laughter and play during 18th, 19th, 20th and 22nd March.
Celebrate International Happiness Day at our Slough’s fifth feel-good festival. Join us on zoom to connect, have fun, and feel-good. You’ll experience 'the five ways to well-being' with Slough Happiness Collective and our co-creators. Andy Craven-Jones (Joygernaut), Friends in Need (MIND Bucks), HOME Slough, Light Mind, Natasha Bloc (ToucanToo), Reading Friends (The Curve & Slough Libraries), Slough CVS, Slough Caribbean Forum, Slough Dominican Association, VIBE (Vision Impression Black Expression), The Samaritans, Tuneless Choir, Yoga with Bali.
The programme includes opportunities to create, learn, relax, and play. Create a perfect pasty, a Polish version of ‘Nutella’ some happy art, happy poems, kind creative writing or an icon for Slough. Learn how to really listen, build your positivity portfolio or how to look after your happiness in challenging times. Relax with happy mindful reading, Tonglen meditation or laughter yoga. Play in our happiness quiz, creative playtime or playful singing for those who can’t sing (and those who can). Pick and mix the sessions to suit you.
We’re bringing together creatives, well-being practitioners and happiness facilitators to give you a chance to have some fun, try something new, learn new skills and meet friends old and new.
Come for the day or as many sessions as you like, just arrive a few minutes before each session. We'll have short breaks between sessions where we'll close Zoom so we can all have a change of space.
For the Creative Playtime with Natasha Block of Toucantoo
Shamash Alidina - Fun Mindfulness for Children and teens 20th March 2-5:30pm
Our friend Shamash a mindfulness teacher and trainer is hosting this event.
This event will bring together 10-20 different mindfulness teachers, trainers and specialists, offering ways to bring mindfulness in a fun and accessible to children of various ages.
Children and teens are welcome to attend, although the day is designed to offer tips to adults who work with children or teens.
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/fun-mindfulness-for-children-and-teens-tickets-137921479859?ref=eios
Healing Our Earth Happiness & Meditation 21st March 2pm -7pm
A collection of international speakers sharing on happiness and meditation talks and activities. I’ll be speaking at this at 4:15pm (TBC).
Life Counsellor & Spiritual Teacher Lia Steinson & Holistic Laughter Coach Melanie Bloch Tues 23rd March 7pm -9pm
The International Day of Happiness is an annual event organised by the United Nations to promote the idea that feeling happy is a global human right.
Exploring this year's International Day of Happiness Theme
Keep Calm, Stay Wise, Be Kind
Tuesday 23rd March 7-9pm
With Life Counsellor & Spiritual Teacher Lia Steinson and Holistic Laughter Coach Melanie Bloch.
'Whatever turns the corner of your mouth up-trust that' Rumi
An evening of connection, sharing laughter play, enquiry, meditation and music.
Contact Lia on lia.ichooselove@gmail.com to let us know you're attending and to receive the Zoom Link.
Lia Steinson is passionate about our potential to experience lasting happiness, love and inner peace and she has dedicated her life to this purpose as both a Counsellor and Facilitator. Her qualifications and experience are extensive. She focuses particularly on the teachings of A Course in Miracles, Hindu spirituality, non-dual teachings in general and Reichian Bodywork - all with love and joy at their core.
Melanie Bloch
Holistic Laughter Coach - student and facilitator of' A Course In Miracles' Laughter Therapist, Laughter Yoga Teacher, Advanced Bodyworker, Theta Healer, Thought Field Therapist and Reiki Master with over 25 years in the Complementary Medicine Field.‘
Anyone looking for some peace, fun, joy and real healing – I can guarantee Mel will deliver. She is the real deal’.‘
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
WHAT DO WE ALL HAVE IN COMMON? COMMUNITY.
This article I am exploring the idea of community. Community has been a great support for me over the years and in particular during the Covid-19 Pandemic as previously written in Together in Isolation. There are many ideas and resources in that article that have helped me and can help you as here in the UK we go into a 2nd national lockdown. The themes covered are:
CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLES NATURE ROUTINE SPIRITUALITY & FAITH
HEALTH HUMOUR & FEEL GOOD CONNECTION MINDFULNESS & PRESENT MOMENT
LEARNING KINDNESS REFLECTION, GRATITUDE AND JOURNALLING
3 of the Inspiration Point guests have contributed to that article before the 1st national lockdown in March 2020.
Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash
Happy Diwali and Happy World Kindness Day
The team at Happy Life Habits wish a Happy Diwali and Happy World Kindness Day to those celebrating.
In this short article I am exploring the idea of community. Community has been a great support for me over the years and in particular during the Covid-19 Pandemic as previously written in Together in Isolation. There are many ideas and resources in that article that have helped me and can help you as during 2nd national lockdown. The themes covered are:
CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLES NATURE ROUTINE SPIRITUALITY & FAITH HEALTH HUMOUR & FEEL GOOD MINDFULNESS & PRESENT MOMENT CONNECTION LEARNING GRATITUDE AND JOURNALLING KINDNESS REFLECTION
Three (Nick Williams, Sanjay Shah and Beejal Coulson) of the Inspiration Point guests have contributed to that article before the 1st national lockdown in March 2020.
Being Part of Communities
Being parts of various communities has been a huge support to me. Recently over a 7 or so day spell in my calendar almost each day was community related activities including Happy Life Habits (HLH). This was :
Thursday : Attending a talk organised by Shishukunj
Sunday : HLH Gratitude & Journal Habit Training Course workshop
Monday: HLH BookClub
Tuesday: HLH Inspiration Point
Wednesday: Diwali meeting for celebrations planned on 14th November by SCVP and Young Jains
Thursday: Co-Facilitating Young Jains Enriching Conversations on these of Diwali: Shine the Right Light
Friday : Teaching at SCVP Jain School
Happy Diwali to those celebrating. Happy World Kindness Day - 13th Nov.
I enjoy and learn from being part of those communities and feel connected.
We also received good news that the HelpVeerNow campaign shared. Through their efforts to get more people registered on donor databases to increase the chances of finding a bone marrow match for Veer; a registrant in India has been found to be match for another person - saving a life. Without the HelpVeerNow campaign and community the donor may not have registered. This gives hope that a match can be found for Veer. Register and tell others to register, details at www.HelpVeerNow.org
What is Community
From wikipedia
A community is a social unit (a group of living things) with commonality such as norms, religion, values, customs, or identity. Communities may share a sense of place situated in a given geographical area (e.g. a country, village, town, or neighbourhood) or in virtual space through communication platforms. Durable relations that extend beyond immediate genealogical ties also define a sense of community, important to their identity, practice, and roles in social institutions such as family, home, work, government, society, or humanity at large. Although communities are usually small relative to personal social ties, "community" may also refer to large group affiliations such as national communities, international communities, and virtual communities.
The English-language word "community" derives from the Old French comuneté (currently "Communauté"), which comes from the Latin communitas "community", "public spirit" (from Latin communis, "common")
From the Jain faith we have the concept of interdependence shared as …
Parasparopagraho Jīvānām (Sanskrit) is a Jain aphorism from the Tattvārtha Sūtra [5.21]. It is translated as "Souls render service to one another". It is also translated as, "All life is bound together by mutual support and interdependence." These translations are virtually the same (by virtue, that is), because Jains believe that every living being, from a plant or a bacterium to human, has a soul and the concept forms the very basis of Jainism.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasparopagraho_Jivanam
On reading the chapter on Ego from Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty in preparation for the next HLH Book Club session he quotes the Dalai Lama as saying
Under the bright sun, many of us are gathered together with different languages, different styles of dress, even different faiths. However all of us are the same in being human beings, we all uniquely have the thought of “I” and we’re all the same wanting happiness and in wanting to avoid suffering
Happy Life Habits (HLH) has been working hard to serve and cultivate a community of people who want to positively impact happiness and well-being levels. When we are happy, kind, optimistic or hopeful by contagion the people around us also feel that. An act of kindness done to one person ripples out to 6 others and then with each of those 6 rippling to another 6 for three further levels.
Through the HLH Community FaceBook group, the workshops, Inspiration Point, Book Club, Habit training courses we seek to bring people together, have a sense of connection, share inspiration, support each other and build a positive community.
If this resonates with you, you can help us with the crowdfunding campaign running for a few week. You can donate, claim a reward such as a journal, workshop or a place on the Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Training Course starting 4th January 2021. If we reach our target and meet some other criteria, the Mayor of London will give us additional funding which will allow us to do more for free or low cost.
https://payitforward.london.gov.uk/hlh-sharing-positivity-resilience
Many thanks to those who have already supported and shared the campaign.
Over the remaining part of this year we have a few events detailed on the events page.
These include:
Last Episode of Inspiration Point Series 1 : 24th November
Manage Your Mindset and Money Workshop : 1st December (in collaboration with Priti Shah from LightSide Financial)
Remaining Gratitude & Journal Habit Immersion Training Course sessions for November (you can secure place for £60 instead of £75 via crowdfunding)
Looking back, Looking Forward Workshop : 13 Dec (TBC) (sign up via crowdfunding)
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Happy Birthday - Time to Connect
I write this on the eve of turning 50. What to say? These birthday celebrations are way different from what we had in mind last year or even at the beginning of this year. We were making plans to have family from USA and Kenya come visit during the summer and arrange a few get togethers with both sides of the families - both in terms of mine and my wife’s as well as both in terms of my dad’s and mum’s side. This is a lot of people. The celebrations would be for my son turning 16, completing GCSE exams and me turning 50. With the pandemic issue we can’t have more than 6 people meet.
I remember before I turned 24, I had just started my first real job and career out of university. I was a junior consultant in a US based technology consulting firm. I had been to Cambridge, Massachusetts for month long orientation training. During one weekend we had driven to New York, the Big Apple. I was then back in the UK working on projects, work then had become quieter in the UK. During September they shipped a few of out to projects in the USA. I ended up in Lansing, Michigan for a good few weeks. One weekend we took off to Lake Michigan - more like am ocean than a lake. I ended up spending my birthday weekend driving with a friend to Toronto, Canada where he had his family. I was away from family and friends. Being with my friend and his family was fine but I felt alone and did not enjoy that birthday experience. I enjoy being around people, especially family and friends and I enjoy celebration birthdays. Happy Birthday - I has HAPPY in the phrase and it has Birth - Life, so a Happiness Coach calling his company Happy Life Habits loves celebrating birthdays be they his own or others.
I was reminded by Facebook of a post from a few years ago which is a real treasure and I share here which share the difference between a contact and connection.
A Monk of the RamaKrishna Mission was being interviewed by a journalist from NY.
Journalist - "Sir, in your last lecture, you told us about Jogajog (contact) & Sanjog (connection). It's really confusing. Can you explain ? "
The Monk smiled and apparently deviating from the question asked the journalist:
"Are you from New York?"
Journalist - "Yeh..."
Monk - "Who are there at home?”
The Journalist felt that the Monk was trying to avoid answering his question since this was a very personal and unwarranted question. Yet the journalist said: “Mother has expired. Father is there. Three brothers and one sister. All married..."
The Monk, with a smile on his face, asked again: “Do you talk to your father?"
The journalist looked visibly annoyed...
The Monk - “When did you talk to him last?"
The journalist, supressing his annoyance said: "May be a month ago."
The Monk: “Do you brothers and sisters meet often? When did you meet last as a family gathering?"
At this point, sweat appeared on the forehead of the journalist. Now who was conducting the interview, the Monk or the Journalist? It seemed that the Monk was interviewing the Journalist.
With a sigh, the Journalist said: “We met last at Christmas two years ago."
The Monk: “How many days did you all stay together ?"
The Journalist (wiping the sweat on his brow) said: “Three days..."
Monk: "How much time did you spend with your Father, sitting right beside him?"
The journalist looking perplexed and embarrassed and started scribbling something on a paper...
The Monk: "Did you have breakfast, lunch or dinner together? Did you ask how he was? Did you ask how his days are passing after your mother's death?"
Drops of tears coming out started to flow from the eyes of the journalist.
The Monk held the hand of the journalist and said: “Don't be embarrassed, upset or sad. I am sorry if I have hurt you unknowingly... But this is basically the answer to your question about "contact and connection (Jogajog and Sanjog)". You have 'contact' with your father but you don't have 'connection' with him. You are not connected to him. Connection is between heart and heart... sitting together, sharing meals and caring for each other ; touching, shaking hands, having eye contact, spending some time together...You brothers and sisters have 'contact' but you have no 'connection' with each other...."
The journalist wiped his eyes and said: "Thanks for teaching me a fine and unforgettable lesson"
This is the reality today. Whether at home or in the society everybody has lots of contacts but there is no connection. No communication... Everybody is in his or her own world.
Let us not maintain just "contacts" but let us remain "connected"; caring, sharing and spending time with all our dear ones.
*****
The Monk was none other than Swami Vivekananda
Lessons Learned at 50
There are many people who have come into my life, there are many mistakes made, lessons learned, many inspirers, many joyous moments and continue to do so. Some of these lessons relate to a few themes.
TIME is our most precious resource. We don’t know how much we have left so use it wisely.
CONNECTION is central to our existence. The much loved and shared Brene Brown quote says it all. Check out this awesome blog on connection.
We have 3 main relationships or connections:
with our self
with others
with our higher self, nature, universe, God
The Happy Life Habits logo is all about connection, it is a connected pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
The below quote was share on HLH Community group when within a few days we developed the HLH Book Club. Thanks Mary T for inspiring it.
“‘Time is our most precious resource. We should not waste it. If it fits with my mission, serves, feels right, positively impacts, makes me smile, adds to the greater good, enthuses and inspires me and have the opportunity to be with wonderful like minded people - why wait? ”
Manage your TIME, ENERGY & ATTENTION
I am hoping to share sessions on this in 2021
HABITS OF THE HEART & SOUL : GRATITUDE, COMPASSION, KINDNESS, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, MINDFULNESS
return wonderful returns when developed - they are all about connection.
“Our life is made up of a series of moments. We live moment to moment. The more happy moments we can have and create the happier our life will be. ”
All the current Happy Life Habit projects and activities relate to these themes : The Happiness Boosters, The Gratitude Workshop, The Gratitude and Journal Habit Immersion Course, The HLH Book Club and the newly launched Inspiration Point. I look forward to connecting with you and being part of the Happy Life Habits Community with you.
Many thanks to all the attendees, participants, partners, supporters and sponsors.
With Love, Warmth, Gratitude and Kindness
Shaileen Shah - The Happiness Coach - 50 Years Old - still got a long way to go.
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
(4) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can create a win-win result.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
Support & Services for Mental Health Awareness Week 18 -24 May
Happy Life Habits is supporting and serving Mental Health Awareness Week in a variety of ways. This article shares the support and services provided by Happy Life Habits and some other organisations.
Happy Life Habits is supporting and serving Mental Health Awareness Week in a variety of ways. This article shares the support and services provided by Happy Life Habits and some other organisations. I am excited to share that Happy Life Habits is fully supporting Mental Health Awareness Week in a variety of ways. Click the various images, videos, article and event links.
Look after you own mental health and wellbeing. Help others look after theirs.
HAPPY LIFE HABIT SERVING
1. HAPPINESS BOOSTER SESSIONS
The Free Happiness Booster Sessions that we have been running during pandemic has been extended to be provided Monday 18 - Friday 22 May 2020 at 9:30 am each morning.
2. VIDEO SERIES ON MENTAL HEALTH - 1 VIDEO EACH DAY
3. LIVE SESSION ON SATURDAY 23RD MAY
4. ARTICLES RELATED TO MENTAL HEALTH THEMES
5. OTHER ORGANISATION MENTAL HEALTH RELATED EVENTS
The support & services being provided by Happy Life Habits
Daily Video Series
OTHER ORGANISATION MENTAL HEALTH RELATED EVENTS
I am helping at the Young Jain Enriching Conversations event on Wednesday 20th May 20:00 -21:15 and speaking at Oshwal Mental Wellbeing Seminar on Sunday 24th May 14:00 -15:30. I attend the Friday SCVP Mindfulness class.
Avanti Schools Trust Family Well Being with Dr Kang Monday 18 May 17:30 -18:30
Mental Health for the SME and Freelance Community Thursay 21 May 11:00
Museum of Happiness Happy Minds Matter event Thursday 21 May 19:30 -20:30
Daily Meditation by my friend Deepa, her son and monkey. On Facebook “Meditate with Monkey and Me”
THANK YOU
Thank you for reading this and sharing.
Harshna and family thanks for your support and encouragement.
Priti Shah of Lightside Financial thank you for support and help in promoting mental health awareness week.
Sawan Gosrani thank you for the nudge to Bhavik Haria’s getdigital video training. Bhavik thanks for your training.
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can work a win-win result.
(4) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Group
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
MOANS & ZONES: BOREDER Vs BORDER
This and the few related articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
This one is about fixed and growth mindsets, comfort zones, support and challenge.
This and the few related articles are about the golden opportunity we have for learning, change growth, development and transformation. Moving from a caterpillar to being in a cocoon to become a butterfly. They blend ideas and snippets on needs, mindsets, zones and actions from Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins, Abraham Maslow, Carol Dweck, Nelson Mandela, Robin Sharma, Forrest Gump and a few others.
MINDSETS : FIXED VS GROWTH
“My momma always said, ‘
Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you’re gonna get’.” - Forrest Gump
“My momma always said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get’” Forrest Gump
Relating to the comfort zone concept, Carol Dweck, a researcher in the field of motivation and author of the book mindsets shares ideas about a Fixed Mindset and a Growth Mindset. A person with fixed mindset is set in their ways and feels can’t change while a person with a growth mindset believes in possibility and progress. They believe in the 7th Habit of Sharpen the Saw, Self Renewal.
In a fixed mindset students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that's that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb. In a growth mindset students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching and persistence. They don't necessarily think everyone's the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it.
— Carol Dweck, Stanford University
This is shared in the TED Talk The Power of Believing that you can Improve where the idea of the grade NOT YET is explained and understood that we are on a learning curve. The process and the effort is praised and encouraged rather than the end result, this helps move out of the comfort zone and create new neural connections.
I recently watched Forrest Gump after a long break of last watching it (having watched it a gazzilion times in the past). The movie has so many wonderful messages and stories. What leapt out on this recent viewing was that Forrest had a Growth Mindset which had been nurtured by his mum early in his life and helped him deal with a variety of adversities and challenges.
It let him become the best in many of the endeavours he undertook be that college football, Vietnam army soldier, ping pong champion, Bubba Gump shrimping or running long distances to name but a few. I really recommend that you watch the film again very soon. Again as writing this piece I discovered that Forrest Gump and Growth Mindset has been explored in this article The Lessons of Growth Mindset and The Forrest Gump Movie.
ZONES : COMFORT, FEAR, LEARNING, GROWTH
Relax, sit back, sit comfortably as we look at comfort zones. This concept has served me well and helped make sense of many experiences as well as take opportunities. The comfort zone is where we have control, certainty and feel safe. Where know and control what happens in this zone it where where we are content, happy and can be bored. Just outside the comfort zone are things that make use anxious, feel fear, uncertainty and be uncomfortable. We often don’t want to step outside the comfort zone and feel those things. However sometimes a situation occurs which either forces us or makes us choose to step out into the unknown.. This may be a pandemic, job loss, death, illness, opportunity of a new role, parenthood, new hobby, new friends/partners, winning the lottery, roller coaster ride, bungee jump - you get the idea. Often we will initially feel fear, nervous, anxious due to the unknown, uncertainty due to our safety mechanisms . Sometimes we may initially feel or switch to excitement, adventure, enthusiasm. What I have been told is that feeling nervous or excited occur in the same parts of the brain and release the same chemicals into our body, it is in one sense the same feeling but our representation, thoughts or meaning we give it makes it be nervousness or excitement. So on occasion when we feel nervous we could re-frame it as excitement and be at a better energy level and resourceful state. I sometimes do this before a workshop or talk when I am feeling initially nervous.
When we step out of comfort zone by a little bit, work through the fear to learn and grow we expand out comfort zone. We keep doing this and slowly but surely we keep expanding and growing. If we are caused to or choose to step out too far from our comfort zone then we risk feelings of overwhelm, not able to cope, stress and we can snap. Too much is being asked of our capabilities. To be able to deal with things way outside our comfort zone we need to develop our mindset, skill set and tool set as well as support systems. Without one or more of these we may be too stretched - a step or more too far can then cause hurt and harm (self esteem, confidence, belief, mental health etc).
OUR GROWTH IS AT THE BORDER OF SUPPORT AND CHALLENGE
To much support and not enough challenge we get lazy, bored , let others do it, do not learn, we don’t grow. Too much challenge and not enough support we break, snap, meltdown. The combination of both support and challenge has to be just right to lead to growth. This is an important consideration for parents, carers, teachers, managers and trainers. The caterpillar to butterfly story shares an example of too much support.
There is the story of a young boy who saw a caterpillar spin a cocoon. He watched it for weeks and one day noticed a small opening in the cocoon shell. He could the caterpillar working its way to get out, it was struggling. In his innocence to be helpful and not knowing any different he decided to help the caterpillar by breaking the cocoon open for it. The caterpillar emerged as a deformed butterfly with a fat body, deformed wings and not to its true potential or being. Not able to fully fly or live as the butterfly it should be it soon after died. The boy did not know that for the caterpillar to become a fully fledged and functioning butterfly it had to face the challenge itself to break open the cocoon thereby pushing the liquid its body throughout its legs and also into its wings to form the wings. It had to go through the transformation.
Like and elastic band we need to be flexible and stretch to the correct amount to be effective and useful. To little stretch the elastic band can’t do its function, too much stretch and it snaps and breaks.
Fear, Learning and Growth Zones is shared in the next article.
I’ve been observing and applying some of these ideas as I prepare to share a session by FaceBook Live - a new experience for me.
And that’s all I have to say about that!
A request dear friend and reader.
(1) If you have enjoyed some of the articles I have shared and found useful please reply to shaileen@happylifehabits.co.uk and let me know.
(2) If you are not a subscriber to the Happy Life Habits email list - please sign up.
(3) If you want to engage my services for coaching, speaking or training get in touch and lets see if we can work a win-win result.
(4) If you think someone else might benefit from this please share with them.
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Community Group
Happy Life Habits FaceBook Page
Happy Life Habits WhatsApp Group
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
HAPPIER RELATIONSHIPS PART2
This article contains some of the ideas shared at the Happier Relationship Part 2 workshop that Happy Life Habits delivered on 28 February 2020 at Shri Chandana Vidyapeeth (SCVP London) Jain School. It is a follow to Happier Relationships Part 1 which should be read and watched first.
This article contains some of the ideas shared at the Happier Relationship Part 2 workshop that Happy Life Habits delivered on 28 February 2020 at Shri Chandana Vidyapeeth (SCVP London) Jain School. It is a follow to Happier Relationships Part 1 which should be read and watched first.
Some of the questions/ideas raised in the workshop and answered in video were:
If we are always giving and making deposits in the Emotional Bank Account and there are people who take, take, take and do not reciprocate the giving of love, kindness, happiness etc. what do we do?
With the 5 Love Languages, can the one you have as dominant change?
If as the spiritual teachers say happiness is from within, what is the need of relationships?
Living from the head Vs living from the heart
If happiness is from within why do we need relationships?
A short recap covered : Brene Brown quote “Connection is what we are here. It gives purpose and meaning to our lives”; relationships help our well being - longevity, resilience, feeling connected and less loneliness (See Robin Williams quote from Part 1). One of the happy chemicals released when in relationships is Oxytocin which fosters trust, bonding and connection. Some key ingredients for happier relationships being trust, values, communication and shared experiences. Take a moment to ponder on…
“The most important ingredient we put into any relationships is not what we say or what we do, but what we are”
This for me is about being at our core a person of trust, commitment, loyal, friendly, loving etc. Not just saying and acting those in that way .
The 3 most important types of relationship are:
Relationship with self (small s)'
Relationship with others
Relationship with Self (big S) - our Divinity, God , Guru, higher self
We can consider that the inner circle is the relationship with our Divinity, our spiritual relationship and that permeates to our self (with small s) and then to our relationship with everyone else. If we have a strong connection to our Divinity, have it in our awareness more often it will positively impact all our relationships.
To foster connection and closeness we can ask questions. There are 36 questions in 3 sets of 12 that have been come to know as the 36 questions for closeness.
A sample is below and here link to full 36 Questions
Sample of 36 Questions to foster connection and closeness
What’s in the box?
In part 1 I shared the video of The Nothing Box which shared some of the differences in men’s brains and women’s brains. A joke that I came across recently on Facebook post from Nithya Shanti that captures some aspects for a Happy Relationship and also has to do with a box.
There once was a couple that had been married for more that 50 years. They had lived happily together and shared everything. No secrets kept from each other. There was, however, one open secret that the women kept from the man.
The wife had a small chest hidden in the closet that she asked her husband to never open it and to never ask her about it. One day, the man told the woman that he really wanted to know what was in the box. She agreed that after so many years, this one secret should be finally shared, and she opened the box. Inside the man saw 3 small handmade dolls and a stack of money amounting to £30,000.
The women explained. “When we were about to be married, “ she said, “my mother advised me not to avoid fights if I wanted our marriage to be happy, for it is important to share our true feelings. However, she also advised me that if you ever make me angry about something, I should first keep quiet and make the doll, only fight after.”
Her husband was moved, Only 3 small dolls were in the chest. In all those years of living together, his wife had been angry with him only 3 times! “This is wonderful my love! That means that I have been a near perfect husband for 50 years and that we have excellent communication with each other. But tell me my love, where did all that money come from?”
“Oh” she said, “this money I make from selling the dolls!
The story highlights not to react in anger, to reflect , take time out (making the dolls) before choosing to respond. This nicely brings us to introduce the 5 Love Languages.
The 5 Love Languages are in my opinion similar to and a specific application of the learning modalities of VAK - Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic learning modalities. The VAK have been well documented as to each person having all 3 learning modalities but one being more dominant. Visual learners learn by seeing, they picture things in the head, they learn from watching videos, live demonstrations, presentations etc. Auditory learners use sound, voice, by listening and being told information and Kinaesthetic is to do with touch and feel. So for example to ride a bike - Visual learners would watch someone riding, watch videos and presentations. Auditory would learn from hearing about it, being given instructions or read something and say it in their hears which Kinaesthetic would be from touching a bike, turning the wheels and getting into the saddle and peddling. All are correct, we use all, we have a dominate modality and can learn to develop the others.
Similarly Dr Gary Chapman had identified and explained 5 Love Languages in a book of the same title. At the time of this writing I have not read the book. It has been mentioned while I was doing research for the workshop and I have read articles and seen interview videos with the author on it. Each love language is a way of expressing love. Again each person will have a dominant language.
The 5 Love Languages are:
Physical Touch - holding hands, hugs, pat on back, massage etc.
Receiving Gifts - being given gifts or presents
Acts of Service - putting out the rubbish, setting table, putting kids to sleep after partner has had a tough day, clearing frost from car in the morning etc.
Words of Affirmation - words that support, encourage, acknowledge and lift up. Not criticism or demeaning language.
Quality Time - dinner together, going for a walk, discussing what is important to us, how we are feeling etc.
When an act is done in our dominant language we feel loved. If our partner has a different dominant love language but we express using our dominant language then they may not feel loved. It’s like communicating in Spanish when the partner does not understand Spanish but understands Hindi. There is mismatch and less of a feeling or being loved or connected. What we need to do is be aware of our love language making our partner aware of that and at the same time be aware of their love language and make conscious effort to express using that. This is related to deposits in the Relational / Emotional Bank Account - they need to be in currency of recipient. We can deposit dollars when Euros are the recipients currency.
Looking at the 3rd type of relationship, the relationship with Divinity, our higher Self, God we are reminded of the Guru (Teacher) - Shiksha (Student) relationship and how this special relationship can help uncover Divinity. We see this in the relationships of Mahavir Bhagwan with Gautam Swami, Krishna with Arjun and Shams with Rumi. It is a relationship based on unconditional love. The book, The 40 Rules of Love shares how Rumi become Rumi with the help of Shams, how he moved from head/scholarly approach to one of the heart/Divinity. Shams shares with Rumi the 40 Rules of Love which have existed for a long time. These rules are about Divinity, God. I remember when I first read the book how it resonated with my understanding of my faith and spirituality. I share here 4 of the rules to give you a flavour. Take a moment to reflect on them.
The 40 Rules of Love : Source www.ScoopWhoop.com
“We seek it here, we seek it there, we look for love everywhere!
We expect it to come to us, usually through another person.
All our conditioning says it is something that happens to us. The mythology of our fables, legends and modern day entertainment industries say it is something we ‘fall into’.
And yet… and yet real love can not be acquired, possessed or accumulated. It can not be known where we think it comes from outside ourselves. The ultimate paradox is we are love.
We are love.
”
“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centred;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is all between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”
Apply some of these ideas and nurture fulfilling, meaningful, loving and happier relationship with your self, everyone else and your higher Self.
Resources
The 40 Rules of Love by Elif Shafak I also sell this book so get in touch if you would like a copy
The 40 Rules of Love on ScoopWhoop
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
The 5 Love Languages articles by FierceMarriage.com
The 36 Questions for closeness
If you want to receive articles, information on events and support Happy Life Habits sign up to the join the email list.
About the Author
Shaileen Shah is a Happiness Coach, Speaker and Trainer. Previously having been in finance technology for the investment banking arm of RBS during the RBS takeover of Natwest, the RBS takeover of ABN Ambro and the financial crisis he has experienced the challenges brought by uncertainty, change and stress. He is certified in The Science of Happiness and shares through Happy Life Habits. Happy Life Habits Positively Impacts Happiness & Well Being Levels by creatively and uniquely combining Personal Development + The Science of Happiness + Spirituality. A business for Good; supporting the UNs Sustainable Development Goals. For more information see HappyLifeHabits.co.uk.
As an experiment, for my own happiness and a way to serve I am going to chronicle as a diary some of my thoughts (ups and downs) and actions during this pandemic. Things that I am doing and finding beneficial to my all round happiness and well being many based on the themes shared in Together in Isolation .